hey sorry to hear about your situation. what do your parents think of all of this? have they been supportive?

good for you for reaching out to people, btw. i think you definitely to find something to keep yourself busy or you will fall deeper into depression. since studying is not possible (plus the risk of you dropping again for the third time) i suggest you can find a spm-level job to do. there's no shame in it as long as you are committed.