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 chinese (non muslim) and muslim couple, masuk sat

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TSDoraemonNobita
post Dec 9 2017, 01:40 PM, updated 8y ago

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I am a chinese and my gf is a muslim. I have met her parents and they are very sporting and not judgmental. The issue here right now is my family. My mom only wants me to marry a chinese girl. Previously I had a chinese gf but the relationship did not last long and the current one is a sumandak (muslim). My mom knew I broke up with the chinese girl but she does not know about my current relationship with this sumandak. Actually I want to keep it private but my gf always ask me when can I bring her to see my family. I always tell her that one day when the time is right she will meet my family but deep inside my heart I am afraid to bring her to my parents house. She is a nice girl very pretty and polite. About convert to islam I think that should be no problem because I'm interested to this religion before I even met her but I need to do more research before doing so. She thought I am not serious with her and she always ask me "are we able to get married or not if no we better break up now". fuhhhh I am in a dilemma right now.

Anybody with the same experience?
I want to seek for advises.
whyseej00
post Dec 9 2017, 01:42 PM

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Same boat with you about 10 years ago..... Breakup at the end. Married with Chinese now
The_Rock
post Dec 9 2017, 01:45 PM

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Go marry Chinese. Settle.
TSDoraemonNobita
post Dec 9 2017, 01:52 PM

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QUOTE(whyseej00 @ Dec 9 2017, 01:42 PM)
Same boat with you about 10 years ago..... Breakup at the end. Married with Chinese now
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why breakup? family cannot accept?

TSDoraemonNobita
post Dec 9 2017, 01:53 PM

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QUOTE(The_Rock @ Dec 9 2017, 01:45 PM)
Go marry Chinese. Settle.
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I am done with chinese (had bad experience before)
Kanan Jarrus
post Dec 9 2017, 01:54 PM

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if you have gf or married, later on can break up or divorce...it won't be an issue since a partner can be found again and again, there are plenty more out there...

but your mom?? you only have 1 set of parents. listen to your mom and draw out a long term plan. And 1 thing that makes me suspicious is why the heck your malay gf making marriage as an ultimatum?? how old is she?

I'd figure that if she's not at that age yet, might as well just take it slow and see how compatible you both are. Have you discussed with her about your living style after you both settle down, racial preferences, etc??

for her parents, it's a gain, but for your mom, she's losing you in terms of your culture, your surname etc....you do understand right??
whyseej00
post Dec 9 2017, 01:57 PM

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QUOTE(DoraemonNobita @ Dec 9 2017, 01:52 PM)
why breakup? family cannot accept?
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I thought it was family.... But at the end it was me. I don't want to pray 5 times a day and I really really love char siew :/
slashlink
post Dec 9 2017, 02:29 PM

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QUOTE(DoraemonNobita @ Dec 9 2017, 01:40 PM)
I am a chinese and my gf is a muslim. I have met her parents and they are very sporting and not judgmental. The issue here right now is my family. My mom only wants me to marry a chinese girl. Previously I had a chinese gf but the relationship did not last long and the current one is a sumandak (muslim). My mom knew I broke up with the chinese girl but she does not know about my current relationship with this sumandak. Actually I want to keep it private but my gf always ask me when can I bring her to see my family. I always tell her that one day when the time is right she will meet my family but deep inside my heart I am afraid to bring her to my parents house. She is a nice girl very pretty and polite. About convert to islam I think that should be no problem because I'm interested to this religion before I even met her but I need to do more research before doing so. She thought I am not serious with her and she always ask me "are we able to get married or not if no we better break up now". fuhhhh I am in a dilemma right now.

Anybody with the same experience?
I want to seek for advises.
*
Just some facts. I guess you already aware:

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

====
Pete the great
post Dec 9 2017, 05:46 PM

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QUOTE(DoraemonNobita @ Dec 9 2017, 01:53 PM)
I am done with chinese (had bad experience before)
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U r caught up in the puppy love, and cannot see the bigger picture.

one bad experience cannot generalize all.

I had 3 relationships, but eventually settled down with a Chinese wife.

This post has been edited by Pete the great: Dec 9 2017, 05:48 PM
Pete the great
post Dec 9 2017, 05:48 PM

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QUOTE(slashlink @ Dec 9 2017, 02:29 PM)
Just some facts. I guess you already aware:

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

====
*
most states?

what if TS migrate to Sarawak? WIll this syariah law cover?
ymc2303
post Dec 9 2017, 10:54 PM

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QUOTE(DoraemonNobita @ Dec 9 2017, 01:40 PM)
I am a chinese and my gf is a muslim. I have met her parents and they are very sporting and not judgmental. The issue here right now is my family. My mom only wants me to marry a chinese girl. Previously I had a chinese gf but the relationship did not last long and the current one is a sumandak (muslim). My mom knew I broke up with the chinese girl but she does not know about my current relationship with this sumandak. Actually I want to keep it private but my gf always ask me when can I bring her to see my family. I always tell her that one day when the time is right she will meet my family but deep inside my heart I am afraid to bring her to my parents house. She is a nice girl very pretty and polite. About convert to islam I think that should be no problem because I'm interested to this religion before I even met her but I need to do more research before doing so. She thought I am not serious with her and she always ask me "are we able to get married or not if no we better break up now". fuhhhh I am in a dilemma right now.

Anybody with the same experience?
I want to seek for advises.
*
eventually you will be forced to choose.
unless your mum am willing to let you go and convert but you know this will hurt her much.
for you to make any decision is easy cos you only think it impact you alone but truth is it impact the whole family.
TAN WENG
post Dec 10 2017, 10:11 PM

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QUOTE(DoraemonNobita @ Dec 9 2017, 01:53 PM)
I am done with chinese (had bad experience before)
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Wat kind of bad experience
timesquare.net
post Dec 11 2017, 12:20 PM

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QUOTE(TAN WENG @ Dec 10 2017, 10:11 PM)
Wat kind of bad experience
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1 bad experience only then make a conclusion that all chinese girls all bad?

rclxms.gif rclxms.gif

willywonka92
post Dec 11 2017, 01:04 PM

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Same situation but I just recently converted. Didn't change my name as it is allowable. Planning on getting married next year. Haven't tell that to my parents but I suspect my dad ardy found out about it. This kind of thing takes time to accept. I'm planning to tell my parents about it next year and I'm ardy expecting the worst scenario where I might be abandoned but I don't think it will last long. I have 2 points that might makes my parents easier to accept me, first I didn't change my name and my future children are still gonna have Chinese name and secondly I'm still allowed to perform family traditions like burn incense for the ancestor during cny but it is makruf which means allowable but not encouraged to do so.

This post has been edited by willywonka92: Dec 11 2017, 01:05 PM
ZZR-Pilot
post Dec 11 2017, 01:21 PM

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QUOTE(DoraemonNobita @ Dec 9 2017, 02:40 PM)
I am a chinese and my gf is a muslim. I have met her parents and they are very sporting and not judgmental. The issue here right now is my family. My mom only wants me to marry a chinese girl. Previously I had a chinese gf but the relationship did not last long and the current one is a sumandak (muslim). My mom knew I broke up with the chinese girl but she does not know about my current relationship with this sumandak. Actually I want to keep it private but my gf always ask me when can I bring her to see my family. I always tell her that one day when the time is right she will meet my family but deep inside my heart I am afraid to bring her to my parents house. She is a nice girl very pretty and polite. About convert to islam I think that should be no problem because I'm interested to this religion before I even met her but I need to do more research before doing so. She thought I am not serious with her and she always ask me "are we able to get married or not if no we better break up now". fuhhhh I am in a dilemma right now.

Anybody with the same experience?
I want to seek for advises.
*
although resistance is to be expected in a muslim-nonmuslim relationship, it doesn't mean the end of the world.

It's good that you're expecting resistance from your parents. Now that you're well equipped with that intel, what are you going to do about it?

1) Give up.
2) Strategize.



This post has been edited by ZZR-Pilot: Dec 12 2017, 12:28 AM
TSDoraemonNobita
post Dec 11 2017, 03:46 PM

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QUOTE(willywonka92 @ Dec 11 2017, 01:04 PM)
Same situation but I just recently converted. Didn't change my name as it is allowable. Planning on getting married next year. Haven't tell that to my parents but I suspect my dad ardy found out about it. This kind of thing takes time to accept.  I'm planning to tell my parents about it next year and I'm ardy expecting the worst scenario where I might be abandoned but I don't think it will last long. I have 2 points that might makes my parents easier to accept me,  first I didn't change my name and my future children are still gonna have Chinese name and secondly I'm still allowed to perform family traditions like burn incense for the ancestor during cny but it is makruf which means allowable but not encouraged to do so.
*
Me too. I am not gonna change my name/tradition etc as long as it's not against the syara'.
Pm me for details bro. I rally need this.

TSDoraemonNobita
post Dec 11 2017, 03:48 PM

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QUOTE(timesquare.net @ Dec 11 2017, 12:20 PM)
1 bad experience only then make a conclusion that all chinese girls all bad?

rclxms.gif  rclxms.gif
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I am not saying all chinese women are bad...
I am just not really interested anymore.
ZZR-Pilot
post Dec 11 2017, 08:00 PM

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QUOTE(DoraemonNobita @ Dec 11 2017, 04:46 PM)
Me too. I am not gonna change my name/tradition etc as long as it's not against the syara'.
Pm me for details bro. I rally need this.
*
You'll be surprised to know that you actually don't have to.

I think for the most part people kancheong for no reason. Masuk melayu la... potong kote la... pffft.....

This post has been edited by ZZR-Pilot: Dec 12 2017, 12:27 AM
TSDoraemonNobita
post Dec 11 2017, 09:00 PM

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QUOTE(willywonka92 @ Dec 11 2017, 01:04 PM)
Same situation but I just recently converted. Didn't change my name as it is allowable. Planning on getting married next year. Haven't tell that to my parents but I suspect my dad ardy found out about it. This kind of thing takes time to accept.  I'm planning to tell my parents about it next year and I'm ardy expecting the worst scenario where I might be abandoned but I don't think it will last long. I have 2 points that might makes my parents easier to accept me,  first I didn't change my name and my future children are still gonna have Chinese name and secondly I'm still allowed to perform family traditions like burn incense for the ancestor during cny but it is makruf which means allowable but not encouraged to do so.
*
Any update PM me dude.
Blackops981
post Dec 11 2017, 11:57 PM

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