Mar 31 2007, 12:13 PM
QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 31 2007, 11:42 AM)
Okay...it's not me. But this is a friend of mine.
Her boyfriend courted her for two years...and they've been together for two and a half years. Which totals it to 4 and a half years of knowing each other. He's her first love...I don't know if she's his first love, but they've been together for a long time. Recently, she's been crying almost nonstop for the past week because she and her boyfriend have come to a point where neither of them see the future with each other...meaning that both of them no longer see themselves married to each other. Separate ways, that means...but they still love each other.
I don't know how to help her get out of this depression/emotional state. I mean, I'm encouraging her and telling her that she WILL get out of this state after a while...and it definitely won't be in a month's time. I mean, I cried nightly for seven months after I broke up with my first love...and this is her first love for two and a half years...it's obviously impossible to get over sooo quickly.
She feels that she's hit rock bottom and beyond with her crying. She keeps telling herself that she's stronger than this and that she knows that she should stop but she doesn't know how to. I can't relate to her properly because I hated my ex when we broke up...she still loves him, he still loves her, but they want to go separate ways because they no longer see themselves married to each other. She can't hate him the way I hated my ex and became an angry person to get over it.
She's been trying not to think about it...every day she comes online and talks with people. But, once she runs out of people to talk with, she starts thinking about it again and ends up crying for the rest of the day. She says she looks awful now...and I can't really blame her for feeling this way. I reckon I'd probably do the same thing if I'd been with a guy for that long...and he's my first love...and four and a half years later you both realize that you probably won't be marrying each other. I just can't empathize with her...I don't know what to say to her because I've never experienced it myself.
Does anybody have any similar experience? Can you help me help her?
Her boyfriend courted her for two years...and they've been together for two and a half years. Which totals it to 4 and a half years of knowing each other. He's her first love...I don't know if she's his first love, but they've been together for a long time. Recently, she's been crying almost nonstop for the past week because she and her boyfriend have come to a point where neither of them see the future with each other...meaning that both of them no longer see themselves married to each other. Separate ways, that means...but they still love each other.
I don't know how to help her get out of this depression/emotional state. I mean, I'm encouraging her and telling her that she WILL get out of this state after a while...and it definitely won't be in a month's time. I mean, I cried nightly for seven months after I broke up with my first love...and this is her first love for two and a half years...it's obviously impossible to get over sooo quickly.
She feels that she's hit rock bottom and beyond with her crying. She keeps telling herself that she's stronger than this and that she knows that she should stop but she doesn't know how to. I can't relate to her properly because I hated my ex when we broke up...she still loves him, he still loves her, but they want to go separate ways because they no longer see themselves married to each other. She can't hate him the way I hated my ex and became an angry person to get over it.
She's been trying not to think about it...every day she comes online and talks with people. But, once she runs out of people to talk with, she starts thinking about it again and ends up crying for the rest of the day. She says she looks awful now...and I can't really blame her for feeling this way. I reckon I'd probably do the same thing if I'd been with a guy for that long...and he's my first love...and four and a half years later you both realize that you probably won't be marrying each other. I just can't empathize with her...I don't know what to say to her because I've never experienced it myself.
Does anybody have any similar experience? Can you help me help her?
Remember a story of how the turtle mama laying eggs in the hole. Then, the mama goes back to the ocean. And never look back his eggs anymore?! After a time passed, so the little turtles all hatched. And start following their mom's step going the ocean. Of course, there are many little turtles there... so pity... some of them die half-way,... because they are many enemies awaiting them. Some crabs wanna eat them, big fishes are all inside the sea. Especially big sharks... and so on.
So, why the turtle mama dun care about her child?! Letting them do whatever they have to do?!
I dun know why I talk about this story. But for your friend's case. I think it's normal. Dun you think so?! Want cry, just cry... everyone also got love once. being hurted before. If she dun get herself strong. No one could help her... 
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That means your friend still young. it's a test for her. After 10 years later, when she is 30 or 40 with 2 or 3 kids that time... you go and ask her this "I love you but I can't be with you". It's no longer big deal anymore. 
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