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 Suicide - The Signs and what can you do?

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TSKaerna
post Jun 7 2017, 08:18 AM, updated 7y ago

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I'm writing this because this morning I just got a news that someone I'm rather close with just committed suicide. He's at the healthy age of 30 with a decent career and was seen as an anchor of people around him as he's always cheerful, calm in any situation and looked up upon by many. His is the 3rd suicide case which I have known and unfortunately the theme repeats again; It could've been prevented easily.

The crux of the matter is he has some issues pertaining to his relationship with his family, and being the eldest son he was in the constant pressure of trying to keep his parents satisfied and at the same time do not want to appear as an un-filial son. This is not helped that one of his parents is recently diagnosed with cancer and has been pushing some unreasonable demands under the pretext that they do not have much time to live and thus he should fulfill as many of the parents wish. Such irony I would say. We could've say he was selfish for taking the easy way out and being irresponsible but perhaps this is what he wished for. He's dead anyway and none of the complaints will ever reach him (so I think, I'm not really religious)

Even the strongest person needs someone he needs to be weak around. He was begging for help but he's unable to seek it. Whenever he jokingly says I need help people will often wonder "strong person like you always helping others? Impossible!". This labeling further drags down his ability to seek help.

"Don't think about suicide! It's not a good thing! It's a very selfish thing to do!". I will say this is one of the worse advice you can give if you see a potential suicide tendencies. Don't you think these thoughts already cross their mind before they made their decision? These kind of 'advice' further affirms the suicidal that he's beyond help, as people can only offer advice which he has already explored.

Suicidal tendencies is never an overnight thing. It starts small and slowly grows when not managed properly. The key to this is trust. Jokes about suicidal tendencies should always be taken seriously and by that I don't mean by useless sentence like "don't la...it's not good". Find out the cause and address the cause, build trust and let them know it's okay to be weak and be in the wrong once a while.

A suicidal person is just as weak as everyone else. Help them and don't stigmatize them.

This post has been edited by Kaerna: Jun 7 2017, 08:19 AM
Kilohertz
post Jun 7 2017, 08:33 AM

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Sorry to hear that, yes suicide signs and tendencies should not be taken lightly.
jimmybcmy
post Jun 7 2017, 08:45 AM

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ts, you didn't help him when he seek for help?
SUSEdBaaBaa
post Jun 7 2017, 11:06 AM

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sorry to hear of this.
duckhole
post Jun 7 2017, 03:15 PM

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I can tell you most successful people nowadays have been through the suicidal tendencies path.

It takes a lot of pressure to break through success and achieve goals in life.

If you want to look exceptional and achieve exceptional goals, make sure you can handle the suicidal thoughts when it comes to mind.

daimGeno
post Jun 7 2017, 03:39 PM

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sorry to hear this.
people tend to smiling on the outside but crying on the inside

usually they like to be alone..
1 of my colleague also like this.. sad.gif
rpg
post Jun 7 2017, 09:02 PM

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QUOTE(daimGeno @ Jun 7 2017, 03:39 PM)
sorry to hear this.
people tend to smiling on the outside but crying on the inside

usually they like to be alone..
1 of my colleague also like this.. sad.gif
*
alright if they always have that habit of liking alone. It is those who suddenly change habit to being alone that is in trouble.
babychai
post Jun 7 2017, 10:40 PM

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may i know how he suicide?
ironite
post Jun 8 2017, 10:53 AM

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QUOTE(duckhole @ Jun 7 2017, 03:15 PM)
I can tell you most successful people nowadays have been through the suicidal tendencies path.

It takes a lot of pressure to break through success and achieve goals in life.

If you want to look exceptional and achieve exceptional goals, make sure you can handle the suicidal thoughts when it comes to mind.
*
What? No. This is bad advise. blink.gif

Get help if you have suicidal thoughts, even if you are trying to pursue your goals.

Don't normalize it.
duckhole
post Jun 8 2017, 12:40 PM

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QUOTE(ironite @ Jun 8 2017, 10:53 AM)
What? No. This is bad advise.  blink.gif

Get help if you have suicidal thoughts, even if you are trying to pursue your goals.

Don't normalize it.
*
lol not saying should go through it alone la, of course you need to talk to people about it if you feel helpless

SUSacer7254
post Jun 8 2017, 01:43 PM

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Depression
Seek Psychiatrists
NeoMnemonic
post Jun 8 2017, 03:47 PM

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ts did not try to knock some sense into him, so he's knocking on heaven's door. rip
Ripp87
post Jun 9 2017, 07:00 AM

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Anyone here had attempted suicides before? Let's start a suicidal group. Personally I had attempted 3 times & twice hospitalized since 12yo. Each day I'm still battling to survive and find a purpose to live on. Hope there are people out there with similar experience, we could form a small gathering in kl to share our coping mechanism or explore the best painless romanticized deaths opportunities

This post has been edited by Ripp87: Jun 9 2017, 07:02 AM
eligible
post Nov 25 2017, 02:37 PM

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i love this group. share more of the experience those who had suicide thoughts / action.

Create suicide awareness.


remember, suicide ain't about yourself, it's about your families and friends!
rsf
post Dec 1 2017, 01:04 AM

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QUOTE(Ripp87 @ Jun 9 2017, 07:00 AM)
Anyone here had attempted suicides before? Let's start a suicidal group. Personally I had attempted 3 times & twice hospitalized since 12yo. Each day I'm still battling to survive and find a purpose to live on. Hope there are people out there with similar experience, we could form a small gathering in kl to share our coping mechanism or explore the best painless romanticized deaths opportunities
*
Just saw this, thank you for sharing.

I wonder if you are working with any counselor on your suicidal tendencies?



truthosis
post Dec 17 2017, 10:54 PM

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Been gaming on overwatch suddenly got a girl in our team (meet randomly) said about being so depressed and want to kill herself.

Wanted to help but cant see how. It can happened to anyone & anywhere
reed90
post Dec 19 2017, 02:57 PM

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Agree. Really furious when saw someone opened a thread saying depressed people are "weak" and "have no religion."

Our people stigma and perception really needs to improve.

Depression, suicidal thoughts, its real, no matter what religion you are.

If you do, please get help or talk to someone.
stabilo_10
post Jan 9 2018, 05:45 PM

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My best advice is to stay away from all electronic devices. These things lead you to lack of sleep, bad body posture and eye strains. All of it give stress to your body

and its not good for your mental health. Lets live like old skool people, we played alot, we travel, outing etc. After work better not to look at these electronic devices

because you already play around with it during day. Do more 'un-electronics' at night. It gives you better sleep and mental rest

This post has been edited by stabilo_10: Jan 9 2018, 05:46 PM
TSKaerna
post Jan 18 2018, 12:29 AM

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QUOTE(jimmybcmy @ Jun 7 2017, 08:45 AM)
ts, you didn't help him when he seek for help?
*
QUOTE(NeoMnemonic @ Jun 8 2017, 03:47 PM)
ts did not try to knock some sense into him, so he's knocking on heaven's door. rip
*
Going to reply you even if it's 6 months later because they moved this topic into a new forum and there's been people PMing me about what were the signs and what I would've done differently now.

Yes in retrospect I would really love to knock some sense into him. However one must understand that people with suicidal intent is desperately seeking help but at the same time doesn't want the help given to be a burden to the helper. Therefore the suicidal intent people will try to drop hints about the troubles but at the same time try to word it in such a way that it might not be obvious. If you ask me honestly I missed all the obvious hints but rather than sulking about the past I decided to share this experience in hope more can participate in culling suicidal thoughts among the people close to them.

Inconvenient and potential suicide victim making it plain hard? Definitely. However this brings back to the original point of the thread and to view people with suicidal tendencies not as people who are mentally weak, but as people who do not have the privilege of receiving the same amount of support as most of us have.

It's human to be weak. Nobody walks alone.

This post has been edited by Kaerna: Jan 18 2018, 12:31 AM
Yoh
post Mar 7 2018, 10:28 PM

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QUOTE(Ripp87 @ Jun 9 2017, 07:00 AM)
Anyone here had attempted suicides before? Let's start a suicidal group. Personally I had attempted 3 times & twice hospitalized since 12yo. Each day I'm still battling to survive and find a purpose to live on. Hope there are people out there with similar experience, we could form a small gathering in kl to share our coping mechanism or explore the best painless romanticized deaths opportunities
*
volunteer, if you can't afford to go see a therapist, find the nearest NGO near you and volunteer.

it's hard to find a purpose, one must create a purpose.

when u have the thought of suicide, you're deciding on whether life is worth living or not. (paraphrasing albert camus)
therapy/talking to someone can help one sort out those thoughts. or you must ACTIVELY decide to live.

in my darkest time, i had everything ready, as well as jumping to a volunteer option. that latter option saved me.

helping others create meaning and purpose, it reminds me how privileged i am to be able to help others and how these people depended on me. now, even when the weakest hour arrive, i can't think of suicide as an option anymore because there's a community that i'm attached to, that i needed to help.

hope this helps you too.

 

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