If you can afford, dont be calculative on dowry. Of course, please ensure you do not go into debt because of wedding dinner, photo session, etc. For me, many thing could be optional, even wedding dinner.

agreed with cc980024 if you yourself buy things for wedding dinner, both sites should be equal. If your parents-in-law want to buy themselves then another story.

Wedding dinner is tiring, so if possible and total number of tables are still manageable, recommended to have the wedding dinner together. Just give the amount of tables they want. You can just opt for lower range of menu, if you need to reduce cost.

Personally, i think dowry is to show appreciation and gratitude of your wife parents in supporting her for so many years. Any amount you think suitable, will be suitable.

As for me, both of us working overseas during the time we get married. My wife just discuss the amount of dowry to me, double to what considered to be market rate that time. We think that the amount is suitable. Basically my parents-in-laws uses the dowry for wedding preparation, buffet dinner and the the rest pretty much buying gold jewelry for us. We have wedding dinner together and we kept all ang pau, used to pay for the dinner.

Give good effort in communicating and to ensure all parties are satisfy. This is an event of happiness. Good luck.

Congratulation. Do relax and enjoy your big day!!! : )