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 LYN Rainbow Circle, LGBTIQPA discussion thread

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flamingcherry
post Jan 27 2016, 10:57 AM

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Hi guys, im here to ask for advices and share/listen to your stories.

A little about me tho, im lesbian/bi curious, still not sure. A closet lesbian and closet atheist, being born into somewhat religious family and this is marehsia. Recently I met someone and blablabla, I fell for her. She's my roomate and straight btw, according to her. I've tried not to like her and read tonnes of articles on it but idk, feelings just happens. She's the sweetest girl ever and I'd really like to tell her how I feel, but I know thats impossible. A gay friend of mine have advised me to move out, but I dont know.

Anyone here with similar experience? How do you deal with it?
flamingcherry
post Jan 29 2016, 09:26 AM

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QUOTE(JunJun04035 @ Jan 28 2016, 10:47 AM)
first thing first, how open she is?

If she is open to these concept, you might able to tell her and not freak her out. But just like other love story, you might get rejected.

IF she is traditionalist, then just move away and forget about it.

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so far she seems both, quite open but in some ways still conventional.
once out of nowhere she asked whether i've had any sexual experience, and she seems to be okay with my answer (i did)
but she asked whether i've regret it or not (the traditional part of her)
till now im still trying to figure her out.



flamingcherry
post Jan 30 2016, 04:30 PM

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QUOTE(guyson @ Jan 29 2016, 01:48 PM)
Firstly, you are at a crossroad. Not telling her, you have to deal with all the feelings you are having, and it is only going to be time before they take over you and blurs your judgement. Telling her might cause her to steer away from you (or at least i think that is how you feel it would go down). Which means rejection towards your honest feelings, leaving you vulnerable and broken. That fear itself is causing you to have doubts. We've all been there. Every single one of us at some point.

Your situation is very similar to a kid sitting by the piers with the doubt of either jumping into the river or not. Tough decisions to make and all. But you have to be the judge of it. If i were in your shoes, i would tell the girl. Why? Because why not? Keeping it in is never good. Too hasty and it all goes to hell. Just tell her in your most honest words. Sit her down somewhere and talk to her. Refer and relate to her as a person, not as an object of your desire.  Tell her all that you've been keeping in. Share with her how it makes you feel. Do not expect her to reciprocate your feelings. Most people will freak out. Expect that. But it is not something unheard of to have feelings for the person who you associate as same sexuality as you.

Then, allow time to let her sink all that details and information into her thoughts. Do not rush her, and let her judge and decide by herself. It is a good practice to leave telling her your feelings as a heartfelt "heart to heart" talk. Instead of a confession of guilt, that by having feelings for her is wrong. (which sadly most guys of malaysia seems to do). Then go on your life like normal with her. Don't try to treat her any different, in the hopes of it helpign your agenda. She will show you how she will deal with your feelings in due time. But the most important thing is to tell her, let her digest, and react with her reaction. And don't be disappointed if she rejects you. Take it as an experience worth learning.
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wow. you've given like one of the best advice and insight so far. yes i have been thinking about talking about it with her, but i just cant decide how to go about it without jeopardizing our relationship as friends/roomates. but at the same time i also cannot handle keeping this in. previously i was advised to be patient and take it slow, win her heart as friends first etc etc.

at first it seems possible. then lately i dont know how and i dont know why, i just felt deeper into her. feels like im going out of my mind. thank you so much for your reply, it gave me a better idea of how i should proceed. i'll have to find the right time and think of the right words, then i'll talk with her. thank you again thumbup.gif
flamingcherry
post Nov 16 2016, 11:30 AM

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is this tread dead?

 

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