Thx deadlocks for sharing, allow me to borrow your reply. To readers here, allow me to share some points that GOD put in my heart: to experience sonder cannot replace GOD's wisdom. so the blue part represents mindset issues, but i have to admit without GOD helping me i can't describe what's missing.

my existence is to become a blessing in others, to invest in people. Therefore i need GOD's wisdom. Granted that GOD sometimes allow me to go to difficult times is as much for me to understand certain things. Experience sonder can give me empathy to other people with similar background, but it does not means more sonder = more solution to others.

1.
Don't let your lack of "experiencing sonder" belittle your CHRIST or belittle your identity. because we have GOD's wisdom. We can pray: "GOD, i see this problem A,B,C,D... don't have sonder enough so how to resolve ? kindly help and in JESUS name i pray: Amen".

2.
Don't let your lack of "experiencing sonder" giving you condemnation. A condemnation you are not humble enough. We have GOD's wisdom, or at least, we can pray: "GOD, help me on my blind-spots. I maybe look humble to others, but may look insecure to others which is not good, I maybe look convincing, but may look arrogant to others also not good, kindly help and in JESUS name i pray: Amen".

If we look humble to others, it's good
If we look insecure to others, most likely CHRIST will tell me: "hey: Beef-ed up your confidence little bit. You are MY son / daugher. Act like one !"
If we look convincing, it's good
If we look arrogant, most likely CHRIST will tell us: "that's arrogant. try to adjust this..this.. that..that..".

That 4 parts above, i have to adjust on event-basis, not day-to-day, not a fixed mindset either. I have to let GOD tune me, and sometimes experience sonder in the past needs to be ignored, because different level of prosperity commands different mindset, and previous sonder might be a stumbling block.

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It's obvious that many christian is not coming from church that experience sign and wonders on a regular basis. GOD's wisdom is part of sign and wonders actually. 99% churches in Malaysia does not have sign and wonders on regular basis, hence, maybe, just go to my thread WWJD to get GODly wisdom to generate sign and wonder on personal / family level.

yes, rapture is coming on 14-9-2015 according to our fren. What can i do except repent 

I feel the Bible app is quite good. IOS though.

Bible Devotion with UW

Salvation is God's Right and Decision, not yours
Many people think that Salvation is central focused on the decision of Man. Meaning to say that we think we are the one who decides Salvation and thus becomes central focus of everything in trying to qualify God's Salvation. The Bible however says in John 1:12-13 Salvation is actually the decision of God. What this means is that, the central focus of Salvation is God's decision, as the one who qualifies you, not you.

So the next very important question to ask is, what is God's qualifying factor? This is very important to know, because the spirit of  the Antichrist will stop at nothing in hindering anyone from receiving Christ or getting to know Him.

This pattern has been consistent since the beginning of time ever since Satan approached Adam and Eve to deceive them in trying to separate them from God. Have you noticed that sometimes it's so hard to read the Bible? Sometimes it's so hard to pray? Many times we allow excuses to come in to disrupt our walk with God? Whether you realize or not, these are the works of the AntiChrist. There is perfectly no reason why there should be any hindrance to do any of the above mention in the first place. But the fact that there is always just something that takes us away from God, is evident that the Devil's work is present and spiritual warfare is real.

So what is the qualifying factor, UW? The answer lies in the same passage itself and it is consistent throughout the Bible, there is no other qualification which is to:

BELIEVE. or Faith.

Read it carefully.

John 1:12-13 (ESV) - But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God

That's the qualification. It goes without saying. To receive Christ is to believe in Him. And upon your Faith, God gave the right.

I want you to stop right here and contemplate on this words.

God GAVE the right..to become children of God.  What God is saying " I AM the one who says you are saved, it's my sovereign right, will and decision". Nothing comes clearer than that.
If God gave us the right to be saved, we are saved. Salvation has never been our right, initiated. I want all Christians here to understand this. Because if it was our right initiated, then Salvation would very be dependant on what we do. But if it is God's Right to grant us that, then it means it is his work and Salvation is dependant upon Him, in context, it is the work of Christ. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Our Role is to step into it and remain in there by Faith, focusing our eyes on Christ alone and allow God to finish his work.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NIV) - The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.

Philippians 1:6 (NIV) - being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
In the meantime, there will be growing period of ups and down. It's the process of growing to maturity in Salvation. We never lose it but will be more confident in God as the days goes by.

God Bless.

yes, there are a lot of sins these days. terrible days to married for you imo. just stay single but not sin better

Not going to judge that pastor, that's between him and God.

My only concern, if God would still use him in ministry.

not really. If you read bible carefully, GOD tell us to both marry and single as well.