Anyone struggling with pornography and masturbation here?

I believe I have been saved by Christ but I just could not stop looking at porn, especially when I am stressed, or too bored.

I prayed many times but still struggling..

Thanks brother. Your revelation is in-line with what I believe, but I am also thinking to myself, what if until i die, or when the lord comes, I'm still doing this sin. I can imagine I will not have the "face" to face the Lord.

I really want to break free from this. I shared my struggle with few friends before. They prayed for me. My pastor at church, also prayed for me. But I'm still coming back to sin.

The longest I held up before was when I was living with a church friend who is a very devoted Christian at overseas, and I managed to hold up for around 45 days. and that was it. I never went without committing this sin any longer than that since ever.

I kind of think that the reason of my constant failure was because I lack the toughness, and possibly faith, to face the downside of my life. I think I also tend to be a perfectionist, but I like being perfectionist sometimes, because it drives me to move and work for the better of things. But, the contradiction to this perfectionist nature is that, I care A LOT how people think of me. I can give you an example of this contradiction:

I studied overseas and now working in my hometown in Malaysia. I notice, for example, my colleagues are very laid back, chit-chat a lot, and sometimes even listen to music during working hours. Well, I could of course easily solve this problem by wearing an ear plug as far as the noise and distraction is concerned. But I also thought I could have come up before them and to tell them their chit chat and music distracted me, which I think it is what I "should" do (perfectionism kicks in here); but I did not do, because I lacked the courage to assert what I want because I want to have good terms with my colleagues!

Furthermore, I feel particularly lonely since I came back from overseas, the laid-back nature in my hometown, making me feeling unmotivated to do what I want. Because whenever I assert what i want, i get pissed off and would scare people away (I don't like scaring people away as I said I care A LOT how people think of me) Cuz if i do what I think I "should" do, People would think: this fellow why so serious, this fellow should just go along with the culture and don't make it too hard on things la; if this fellow wants to change things, sorry but he has to be more proactive and persistent, and for me, I will just see how things go and MAYBE follow him if he could bring better things for me. (at least this is what I see of the mentality of the people in my hometown)

But thing is, I want more, do good things for the society with skills I have, lead people to better life, do God's will, be truly satisfied and to fully utilize my living on this earth. But I lack the power of will, lack support, not even my family provides enough support for me. And every time I feel stuck in this, I revert back to pornography ...

Bro, sorry for throwing out all this grumble, hope it does not wear you out

This post has been edited by kkb888: Dec 29 2015, 10:17 AM

No church is perfect my friend. But this church you mentioned does sound really bad. But it also depends on age; cuz when I was in my teenage I was also quite self-centred and only hung out with the group that I was comfortable with. Further, I also involved in many ministry work, to the point where I value my ministry work more than my relationship with Christ.

You know often we may see problems which are not seen by others, or purposely ignored by others. Maybe you can be the one who initiate changes to the things you dislike?

Speaking about having romantic relationship in church, most churches are serious about it, and some churches may also have exerted too much control about it.

But it does seem strange for the pastor to restrict their members from dating people from outside; Cuz as long as you are a genuine Christian, I don't see why can't you date girls from any church.

Well, but good that you changed to a better church and I hope you will be able to establish good fellowship with the people in your current church. Just keep in mind that, no churches are perfect

Good find. And I think Apostle Paul is also educated people, something like the royal or something?

And in old testament there are also many members of royal who wrote the bible, eg: King David, King Solomon and Moses

But Kings David and Solomon since they are "Kings" I suppose they must have acquired good intellectual knowledge in order to rule the country? Even acquired after in their late life and before writing the bible?

Moses was also brought up in royal family in Egypt so I assumed him also had received proper education since he was a kid...

..

This post has been edited by kkb888: Jan 13 2016, 11:20 AM

And God often chose the "fool" in order to shame the "wise", in order to show his glory

This post has been edited by kkb888: Jan 13 2016, 11:19 AM

Yes