I don't know about you people but I feel that Asian parents' mentality are not so fit with the current modern era.
Yes, this is a ranting thread but also a discussion thread.

1. My parents are in their 60s and eventhough they are at this age, they still find my granduncle annoying. My granduncle is about 70+ and for all you know, at age of 70, he has some weird behaviour that needs a lot of patience. In their eyes, since they are considered old and still not having such behaviour, they show that my granduncle is now a burden to them. He can't walk much and can't do much and that has brought them to feel that he is now a physical burden.

2. Favouritism is always an issue but in my case it's over the limit. For those who read my posts on CC will know what I went through. In this case, I would say that just because my younger sister is the one sitting down at home not going out (AT ALL WITH ANY FRIENDS OR WHATEVER) and listens to my parents' words most of the time, she gets favourited. No matter how much I did for them, it didn't show once I started ignoring their advice and going against them for my fiancee. And for some reasons, I feel that my family is always trying to keep us (the children and everyone else inside) in a protective bubble that protects us from the outside world. The younger sister is still very immature at 25 this year and she has not lived independently outside of my parents' control and protection.

3. Then there is the "we know what is best for you including marrying which girl" issue which still kinda ticks me off a lot. I myself isn't very happy that they have lots to say about my career choices. I wanted to go into Maktab Perguruan to be a govt teacher, they blocked me instantly saying teachers are for lazy people and people who work as teachers got no prospect. Who cares prospect when they earn more than any average office worker and work half of the time others do. So now I ventured in lecturing without letting them influence me. Though not liking it, they still prayed that I give up on this one day and go back being an office worker.

4. YOU OWE THEM YOUR LIFE AND WELL BEING. OMG. This is the worst part of my life. In my few years working life, 75% of my salary goes to them and yet they are not satisfied. I am a toy collector and my fiancee respects that so when I started working, I will use the sub credit-card to buy some stuffs which one month about RM400-500. Still, my salary was RM2k nett and I only have like what, RM600 to use every month. Reason? I don't need so much money to buy stuffs or spend. And the balance from my salary is to pay for my credit cards normally. But, come on. RM1.4k for them and they still desire more. The best part is, both parents of mine are not being truthful to one another in terms of $$$. Mother can tell me that part of my salary has been saved but at the end when I asked for it, they said "No need to eat, no need to pay for this and that? At the end, where got anymore?". So yeah, I ended up stop giving any $$$ to them and that ticked them off again and to the point of not talking to me. I guess they just want me for my money in repayment of me being brought up so 'well'?

Let's share stories of your parents here and rant it all out. Or opinions as well.

Was 2+k. Now it's wayyy above that la.

Well if I am at fault, I wouldn't mind been bashed. But the thing is, they themselves do not admit their mistakes. They treat every mistake they make as "it's like that wan la".

But come on, I am freaking 30. No need to do this to me anymore.

Guess you don't really see the problem here.

It's not about the toys and stuffs.

I actually am glad I collected toys cause at least I have some assets to sell if I need to.

What happened is that my father spent most of the household $$$ buying 4D with excuses that it is for the future of the family if he ever strikes big.

Bullcrap I tell you.

Even if I don't buy toys, money will end up somewhere not recoverable.

They said every sane children in the world will actually pay back and support the parents so they can retire and relax and lead a better life. So they feel that they should be getting at least something in return to reward their dedication in bringing us up.

Instead they watch stupid TVB dramas that show sons / daughters go emo and leave their potential partners when the parents disagree and they feel proud about it.

Yeah, that's why I am trying not to give any $$$ to my parents and they seem very unhappy.

Once they came to me and asked me: "Why stopped giving money? You stay here no need eat, no need pay electricity, water and all? You think you stay here for free wan ah?"

That's what I am trying to do now but at the end, here's how the calculation works in my family:

My Income = RM2.0k nett (example)
My Toys and Expenses = RM600 (given to me as pocket money for me to spend however I want)
My credit card expenses = RM400 (petrol and some buying stuffs)

Balance = RM1.0k left (to be fully utilised by my family)

So, when I found my gf and started dating, the RM600 wasn't enough for paying for food and all as sometimes I wanna buy her special stuffs or go for special dinners (maybe once a month).

But in their eyes if the equation can go:

RM2.0k nett Salary
RM600 (food is about RM300) so no other spending required (which includes going out with friends or gf is not required at all), I can save RM300 and they can give me lesser every month.

So their spending pattern is, the more they have, the more they spend.

I could only start doing my own things freely after I hit 27 and it was toooo late.

Got controlled like shyt:

1) Going out late at night, kena scolded

2) Don't go back eat dinner cause work got extra load, kena scolded for not telling early

3) Wanna go pak toh with gf that time and not going back for dinner, kena scolded

4) Wanna go stay over at friend's house, kena scolded

House not ready cause of bank loan stamping took time.

Then my mother promised give me 100k, but she dun wan give like in full.

She feels sakit hati to release sekaligus.

I am already in process to get a house of my own in end of April.

Here comes the problem:

Current Salary of me and my wife to be combined is RM6.2k (nett).

After cutting house expenses and all, should be about RM400-500 with savings.

But in my parents' eyes, 400-500 give them also no use.

Too small amount.

I earn RM3k per month, they want RM2k cause it grows by proportion.

Well grateful yes but totally grateful no. Why you ask?

Here's the list of things that happened:

1) I had a gf whom they didn't like and I fought with her and seemingly broke off

2) I wanted to buy a house of my own and my mother agreed to give me RM100k for the downpayment and rest of things so I went to arrange for the bank loan and all.

3) When they heard that I was back with my old gf (when my status of the loan for the house still pending), my mother outright said I do not deserve the money as she feels that I am conning her money. Why? Because I reconciled with the girl that they didn't agree on.

4) Fights went on and stuffs and when my bank loan approved, my father told my mother NOT TO GIVE ME A SINGLE PENNY because I AM BACK WITH THE GIRL. At the end, my mother told me that she will give me the 100k and ask me to bla after the 100k and no more connection with them and that if not for the earlier promise that if my bank loan is successful I will get the 100k, I wouldn't be getting anything at all. She never wanted to give if I continued dating this girl that they didn't like.

5) My mother promised to give but I had to beg for it. Like, I need to get this and that, can you pass N thousand to me? Huh? Why so much? What you buy? Why so expensive? A lof of shyt.

Father retired like 10+ years ago. He's the gambler.

Mother working.

Mother's salary nett RM6k a month.

Credit Card only can hit RM4-5k a month not counting cash transactions like buying vege at pasar and all. And of course Toto and 4D not masuk yet so yeah.

Epicness to the max....

3. My mistake to listen and follow too much last time.

4. I end up earning 2k per month a few years back.

My biggest regret in my life is that I listened too much last time. Their mentality is always stuck in the 60s and 70s. They always feel that whatever that doesn't work or wasn't good back then WILL NEVER BE GOOD NOW. A lot of times I wanted to try learn new stuffs but they always discouraged me telling me it's a waste of time and money to learn stuffs like photography, music, etc etc. To them, it doesn't give them any future financial returns.

Well, that's what I thought at first. Give little is better than not giving but their mindset turned to "give little might as well don't give" cause they can even count out:

Breakfast every morning: RM5 X 30 days = RM150
Electricity RM50
Water RM10

bla bla bla.....

Until whatever I wanna give seems so insignificant.

Well trust me. I have 4 good friends who are the same age as me. None of their families treat them the same way as mine did. They were grateful that their parents were not that concerned and mindful about moneh all the time.

I agree money is not the most important but to them, they feel money is everything to them. I know I am not alone and I can't justify anything. I am not saying I am all right and they are all wrong. I am just saying that I am treated unjustly because my younger sister has a worse character and she was not pushed around like this. Why? Because I never had the intention or chance to actually rebel and fight back. They already assumed that I am the type that no matter how much I am disregarded, I will still crawl back to them.(Directly from what they told me)

They said that they know that I am the type of person that no matter what they asked or forced me to do, I will still go back and call them parents. That's why I end up this way.