My dishonesty was due to my brain switching off. I was cross country biking and parked it at my friend's house to wash it as he has a water jet. Then I took a photo with my smart phone, watsapp to her, saying "I am outside my house cleaning my bike"...the picture was my bike in front of my friend's house gate. Then when I took her to my house, she saw my gate was different. She instinctively became quiet and not happy after that. Later she said to me that I am not 100% honest with her. I thought back, I am puzzled and hit my head as to why I did that??? She is very careful girl, when I dated her, the first few months, she refused to let me pick her up from her house. We had to meet at a petrol station near her house.
When she said no chemistry, it could be a range of reasons. I really dunno. It could be that I could not satisfy her requirements? She wants me to be the provider and pay all the bills if we were to marry next time.

I think I am capable of doing that, just that i have no money for my own hobbies. She also complain that I can be calculative - something that I didn't realise about myself. She complain that I am always late for a date..but I time my arrivals, I am only 5 min late. If she really means she has no feelings for me, then well, that can't be help. But i thought we really got a thing going, we call each other pet names.
I suppose i want to try winning her back. No guarantees though. It be easier for me to move on, at least I get no regrets if it doesn't work out.
Greet her morning every day? Some of my friends tell me to give her space...wait a week or so...I really dunno. I am thinking of 3 day gap.
At this stage, its too early to tell if I am able to visit her for CNY. I guess its highly unlikely. I have offered her numerous times to pick her from airport but she refused. She say her co got airport limo to send her. But since she's on a permanent contract now, she probably go on her own expense. The thing about her, is she got a lot of boundaries...it takes time before she can say yes and many rounds before she get comfortable.
On the contrary, who knows, anything can happen, she could have someone else. But then again, i try not to make it not relevant because I am trying to do the best I can, and I know i don't control my externals. I also don't want to think about that...if it is so, so be it, I got to be matured and be happy for her.
About visiting her. Its a country that is quite close to Malaysia, so the time zone is same. Just that the exchange rate really hurts a lot. However, she is in the process of moving..so she be staying at a hotel which i have no idea where it is. to go there to surprise her would be like almost amount to nothing. What if I go there, and wastapp her, hey i am in so and so...then no answer, then i fly or take a bus back. Golly, the exchange rate almost RM3 to 1 on that country.
But sometimes I think its a bit scary. Like she said she doesnt want to have kids, then I managed to talk it over with her, she relented.
girls need security...
how difficult for you to have let say a big salary. RM10k to RM15k enuf ?