Has any girls in here experienced someone popped out in the middle of nowhere while you are walking around shopping complex, waiting for lrt or anywhere (not under clubbing circumstance) and started to talk to you and said he wants to be friends with you?

I know some people say, you will meet your Mr. Right under any situation or just anywhere but honestly, I just don't buy this kind of approach. It really turns me off for some reason.

When I was 16, at night, when I was walking home from tuition class, suddenly a guy in his 20s (he looked like in his 20s) approached me out of sudden. Asked me so many questions and I was so young back then and didn't know what to do; hence I briefly answered him.

My house was like 10mins away from that location and it was dark; hence I went to my friend's house, which was just a min away. I went into her house and told her mom what happened. Her mom went outside and asked what does he want. He said he just wants to be my friend and know more about me. Her mom said she is just a maid in this house and she knows nothing and ask him to leave; if not will call police. I called my mom to come and get me and I told her what happened and got scolded by her for talking to stranger. LOL!

From then on, whoever approached me this way, I find it somewhat annoying.

Last year, while I was in kinokuniya, suddenly a man approached me and asked if he could draw me for his character book? I was like what the heck! Do I look like a girl who is easily to be targeted as victim? I just laughed and said, sorry no. It's better for you to look for someone better.

There was also a time in KLCC where I just got down from escalator and a guy approached out of sudden as well. Started to talk to me and asked if we could be friends. Asked for my name and number but I didn't say anything to him. I just wonder why?!! I asked him if he approached other people like this all the time? He said "no la".. then I asked "Why did you approach me then??" He just bowed his head smiling shyly. He gave me his name card and said I can call him or keep in touch with him. Of course, I never call or keep in touch with him. I just find it really weird.

Another time was, this guy in lrt. Saw me twice? Just coincident... talked to me.. asked me 1001 questions as well. Asked if we could go out some time.. asked for my age, name, number and etc... I didn't really tell him anything but when I know his age (OMG! 10 years younger than me???) what the heck! can't he even see that i am older than him? Yet he thought I am around his age or younger than him.

Recently, another incident while I was waiting for lrt. This guy also approached me out of sudden. Asked me so many questions. Briefly answered him, smiled and walked away to avoid him. The moment I turned around he was already behind me. Then, he asked again whole lot of questions.. where do I work? do i take lrt frequently? what am i working as? what's my name and ETC ETC!! I just smiled and politely said "sorry, i don't want to tell you." Then, he gave me his name card and asked me to get in touch with him.

I was approached by one of the staffs who used to work at one of the malls that I always go to.. and I don't mind with that kind of approach because I see him every time I go there. He greeted me and we talked a while or two. At least not as awkward compared to someone whom I have never seen in my life and approach me out of sudden in the middle of nowhere.

I am sharing this if not because of anything.. but because of I really want to know what are they thinking??!! Do they seriously interested to be friends or just trying their luck or are they a kind of syndicate to cheat around.. or what??!! I really have no idea and don't understand. I am not some kind of super beauty either! sheesh!! So, whenever guys approached me like that, I just can't help but to think they are up to something no good. LOL!

One thing that all of the guys above have in common is (except the guy who worked in this mall), their question has never include "Do you have boyfriend or married?" Isn't that should be the first question they need to know?

If anyone can enlighten me with this matter. Do give me your input on what are they thinking, really. Plus, I don't think I have this super friendly look that has "Come and talk to me ^.^" written all over my face. So, what is the reason of their approach?!! Sigh...

Your story reminds me of the time a good friend of mine went and did the same thing to an event model during an exhibition. Haha. What are they thinking? Most likely they are interested in that girl and wanted to pursue her if the situation is ideal (single, compatible, etc). You may never find your ideal partner among your existing group of friends so the next best thing is to approach someone (even strangers) and start from there. Hence asking for her details is the first step I suppose.

Anyway that part about the guys following your home and waited for you sounded scary. There's a huge difference between trying to know someone and being creepy.

i know.. approaching someone somewhere might start a new story for them.. but do they just approach anyone? like randomly?? or do they have specific aim?

i mean, i don't mind in certain circumstances.. like i mentioned above, a staff in this mall that i frequent to approached me one day and asked for my number and hope that we can keep in touch. I said yes.

So, yeah I do understand there are many ways to get to know someone or find your potential partner (even on internet).. but I just don't feel comfortable that guys approach me this way out of sudden in the middle of nowhere. Feel really weird to be honest. haha!

and your friend's situation.. ok.. i can understand. she is a model right? most likely means pretty and nice body? but i am neither. LOL! i am not bad looking but not super beauty either. just very average. so yeah...

This post has been edited by oatkrunch: Aug 11 2013, 10:21 PM

Bring pepper spray next time.

^ I do have one. haha!

I know what you mean by potentially meeting Mr right and all that. It might work even in this day and age but with the possibilities of bad news around, better be safe than sorry.

Either :-
they real syndicate people
they just want someone to bang
they really want to be friends

I would like to be a romantic and say no 3 but then the alarm bells in me say probably no 1 or 2.

It's creepy as well to have guys just randomly asking so much. Stalkerish!

^you came across just guys too?

Hmm quite hard for me to answer what kind of aim they're looking for. Normally for a guy to have the boldness to do such things, chances are pretty high that he's a playboy or someone seasoned in this. I'll bet it's not his first time and you're not the first girl he approach in such manner. In my example, I can vouch for my friend since I know who he is and can say he's a decent guy. On the other hand, I also know another friend who has this crazy psycho stalking her for years! It was so bad until police reports was lodged!

Yup, totally get what you mean. Personally, I would not attempt this kind of thing even if the girl could be the love of my life. I can't imagine placing myself in such an embarrassing situation nor would I want to place her at an awkward moment as well. It's normal to feel that way.

Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder and therefore very subjective. There's no need to put yourself down. The event model looked okay but I wouldn't go as far as to say she was very pretty either. Oh yea, I was there to witness my friend's attempt LOL.

^so, did your friend manage to get her contact number or was turned down?

Hang on! You are a guy??? Wow! If a guy too thinks it's suspicious means it is right? Lol!

As I mentioned above, a guy who used to work at this shopping mall that I always go to.. After knowing him and we went out a few times to get to know more about each other, I did ask him the same question. He said if he likes that girl, he will try to approach her too by asking if he can have her number.

So, I really wonder those guys who approach girls like this, what is their successful rate of having a return call from them? To me, I have never called back anyone who approached me this way.

This post has been edited by oatkrunch: Aug 12 2013, 12:51 AM

well....can i give some opinion?ok..back to few few years ago,im 30 now,that time i was only 18 and i also tried this type of tactics,out of boredom and and my friends approach a few girls in a shopping mall...im the first who approach,i said hi can we be friends,the girl was like also about my age,then she ask for my ic,i gave it to her to have a look i didnt know why and then we became friends,exchange hp no and she eventually became my gf for few months (didn't last long) then we broke up.I think we got influence by the west culture,back in western counties is very common for strangers to say hi and greet each other and have a drink together.Maybe we are in asean country and our culture is diff so the way we see things is also diff,maybe those guys watched too much western love movies perhaps haha,they thought that they can click with the girl they see and try their luck.With the tech & apps this days is so easy to know a girl,FB / wechat & etc... still need to approach face to face?just use wechat to shake shake or look around also can already.

For TS maybe those guy who approach you really no luck in wechat or fb that's why they prefer asking face to face coz they are desperate,hehe.But it was kindda fun you know,knowing someone totally stranger then if can click just chat and chat then have a drink together (be it friend or gf),i mean ask in a sincere and good manner,don't show like a wolf face sure ppl scared.

i dont think approaching random girls is awkward, but the situation might be awkward

bout the guy who popped out of nowhere at the street, that is awkward, but for the guy who approached you at kinokuniya, i dont find it awkward

to be able to do that a guy need a lot of courage to approach you, i still remember in my case when i tried to approach a girl working at 7E nearby my house, i gained a lot of courage that day, i felt sick to my stomach just because im afraid of the outcome, i went to that 7E and she wasnt there, after that i never met her until last year when i saw her working somewhere near a recreational center im not used to that kinda approach so i felt uneasy, for somebody used to it maybe he have more courage

if you are afraid that particular guy might do harm to you, just meet him at the public space, get on a date and back to your home at the end of the day

dont be afraid, just be more cautious

It's very common overseas, so maybe the person who did it was brought up in a very different culture than ours. Over in Malaysia, I've encounter some foreigners doing this towards me before. The first time I experience this, I was quite scared as it was late at night, so I just walk away, completely ignoring the guy.

There was once in Thailand. Me and my friend (both of us girls) were waiting for the bus and a guy approach us. He was with his guy friend as well and said they were tourists too. He introduced himself and gave us his card and we found out we were going to the same destination. They helped us to carry our bags and we had a pretty good chat with them. The day ended quite well and they did not do anything funny. He also owns a motel in Boracay (they were Philippine chinese from Boracay) and invited us to stay at their hotel if we ever go there for holiday in the future. Guess there are still people out there who just wants to be friends, or maybe he just wanna advertise his hotel.

I believe they just want to be friends. Just like on LYN, there are guys who will randomly msg girls and chit chat. Of course there are guys that have a certain motive behind it but not all are like that. There are some nice guys around that just want to expand their social circle. It's nice to find someone that you can click with. But yea, jumping out of no where and asking so many questions is very creepy.

Wow! Many of you tried this method too? However, those approached me are Malaysian; hence I don't think they are brought up in diff culture. Lol!

Let me ask you guys a question then. For those who have tried this method to approach random girls, what do you guys aim at? I mean what kind of girls? Or it's just totally random and don't really care what kind of girls?

This post has been edited by oatkrunch: Aug 12 2013, 03:22 PM

Of course not randomly lar,you cannot simply go approach a pork chop what,sure that girl must have something special that attracts us,maybe the looks / she's cute / she have a sweet smile like that.What i mean is guys watched too much western love movies,they think it will also work in malaysia,but even our country is very modern but our mind still traditional,so therefor conclusion is 30 % will work and 70% wont work.Unless the guy is cute or handsome maybe the girl will buy it,as a guy,that time i was doing it for fun,i was like,hey this girl looked cute and talkative,i wanna try to know her...then who knows she also very daring to reply me back and we jalan jalan together,get to know session and yumcha

TS furthermore diff ppl diff taste,some like nasi lemak some like curry mutton rice,so maybe you got luck with this type of ppl,hehe.I think u attracts the lalat wherever u go,post a pic of yourself for us to see the problem why you always encounter this type of situation then we can give you a better answer.

this is how some of the supermodels are approached....

Ok back to that story. The model responded exactly in the same manner like you in such situations. She smiled awkwardly and politely refused and it was going downhill fast for my friend! So I stepped in and managed to get her to give him her social network details. I actually kinda pity the model since she was paid to be nice and friendly so by asking for social network details, she didn't exactly rejected my friend outright and she still has the option to reject his friend request later on if she didn't like what she sees. Win-win for both parties. Anyway they added each other but it didn't progress much from there. Can't remember why. TBH, think it's her lost. My friend's a great guy and come from a very very good background.

Yea, so we could pretty much tell you what they are thinking. But strange guys who follow you home? Definitely a psycho. It's always good to err at the side of caution especially for those that approach you in real life out of nowhere and start asking too many questions. At least through social networks, you could do some preliminary background check first lol. Well seems like this tactic worked well for that shopping mall guy.

I think you acted in the right way. I can't think too highly of girls who's so easily being friendly with every strange guy they meet on the street unless in certain situations like what happened to munkeyflo. In her first example, definitely the right approach to walk away. In her second example, it's not unusual for tourists to know each other overseas. But be very careful if the guy is actually local to that place. I've heard cases where girls just go missing.

Here's a tip. The next time some annoying guy couldn't take no for an answer, just say you're married. He should leave quickly

@monkeyflo: when i traveled to australia alone, i did that too.. like i stayed at youth hostel association where i shared room with few other tourists. we went out together and such but of course, those are with girls. i don't think i will feel comfortable going with guys whom i do not know. haha! i won't be this afraid if i am a guy. haha!

@lkc85: to me, there is no pork chop.. haha! if you were to label certain girls/ women as pork chop, then I guess I will be the walking billboard pork chop for you guys. if the asian standards of being thin is 45kg and below, then i am definitely nothing near there. I will be the pork chop then? LOL! I will appreciate muscles more than being just thin. hahha! nice try of you to ask for my pic. I will show you then.




@abubin: sadly, i am no supermodel. hahah!

@btfan: what kind of social network you were talking about? at least that guy who worked in the mall didn't ask fo rmy number the first time he saw me. he started off by greeted me every time he sees me by saying "hi! how are you?" then after payment, he will say "bye, have a nice day". very casual yet normal service right? then, after a few more times he saw me, he will ask "where do i work? where do i live? what am i working as". then stopped.. and said have a nice day to me. Then, after a few more times, he will go like "you look nice today" or something along that line..

every time he saw me, he will greet me with this brightest smile ever. i think i was sort of attracted by his smile too. at first i thought he did that to all customers as in.. basic hospitality but i did observe him quite a bit that he didn't greet other customers.. but when it's my turn to pay, he will say "hi and smile". haha!

so, by that way, i am slowly getting more and more comfortable talking to him.. hence during his last day working in that mall, when he asked to keep in touch, i said yes. i am pretty sure if he asked for my number the first time i saw him, i would have said no.

i will usually say "i have bf".. can't say married cus i don't have a ring. haha!

@braindeath: I sort of got what you mean. The guy I mentioned from the mall, when I got to know him better, he told me that he actually wanted to ask for my number for the longest time but he didn't dare to ask just yet. He wanted to tell me that he is interested in me when he sees me next but when he did really see me, he can't say anything but just hi, how are you?. He said he was really nervous n when I left, he will call himself stupid for not having the guts to ask for my number. Haha!

This post has been edited by oatkrunch: Aug 12 2013, 10:49 PM

If you ask me, majority of the guys that ask you out are because they are obviously interested in you.

Some guys are generally more friendly. I know a guy at the bank I frequent and he is really friendly with me, much more usual than the normal friendly customer service someone will give. I just have small chats with him everytime I see him but that's about all.

Married doesn't mean you have to wear a ring. If people ask about the ring, just say you don't like to wear one.

As for travelling, honestly, if I was alone, I wouldn't dare to speak or hang out with strangers as well. Even when we were hanging out with the 2 guys, we did speak among ourselves to watch out for anything suspicious.

@monkeyflo: actually that time in Australia, I did meet up with some ppl I knew online. So brave right? Lol! Now when I recalled what i did, I was like I was totally out of my mind! Luckily those ppl I met are nice people! Never again I will do such thing. Lol! Unless they are girls. Yeah! I know girls too have bad ppl right? But somehow, the risk is lower right? Lol!