It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

You can't die even tho you have been shot... somehow somewhere the doctor will save you..

not if you're Jack Bauer,all you need is some epinepherine,and voila!
good as new!

its easy to land aplane when the pilot has been killed or ill,providing theres someone in the control tower to talk u down.

the eiffel tower can be seen from any window of any building in paris

wheen paying for a taxi,never look at ur wallet as u take out a note-just grab one at random and hand it over.it will always bee the correct and exact fare,including the tip of course...

Mothers routinely cook eggs bacon pancakes and all other shit for her family every morning,even though the hubby and childdren never have the time to eat them

all single women have cat

1 man shooting at at 20 men have abetter chance of killing them all then 20 men firing at 1

if a father is firefighter or cop,it will mean that he will forget his sons 6th birthday in the line of duty

some u missed

or were using the same book

Althought the couple had sex yesterday night, she would still cover her breasts with the blanket in the morning.

nice !! nice!!

9mm uzis or pistols have the stopping power of a 50 calibre bullet when it comes to killing bad guys.

everyone seems to like screeching their tyres like there's no tommorow.

regardless of what car the hero is driving, he can drive it like michael schumacher.

ppl on tv never finish thier drinks

cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames

any person waking from a nightmare will sweat profusely,sit bolt upright and pant

if a phone line is broken,communication can be restored,by frantically beating the phone and saying,'Hello?Hello'

Chow Yun Fatt: You never run out of bullets even without reloading.

And never get shot by the bad guys..with him being able to have the SWAT team accuracy

if its a tamil movie, somehow there will be 100 people 50 a side and dance together with the dating couple.....amazingly they juz show up from nowhere.....

In old chinese drama, the heroes don't need to work nor do anything to gain money, they just need to take it out and pay.. it's from heaven

why dont you credit the list, b****?

uh...what?

Yeah.. i always wondered this.. and also they always seems to be filthy rich too....

Im talking to the thread starter, ive seen the list online before, he didnt compile it himself.

least he could do is to state the site he stole it from. what an ass...

umm, u forgot the coconut trees that they swing around.

what about when there's emergency or monster chasing you or bad guy chasing you, that is the only time ur car wouldnt start, and it always barely start when the monster/badguy is like 1 cm from the car then when the car moves, you look at the rearview mirror the monster either 1) chasing 2) screaming 3) shooting

This post has been edited by rinaidil: May 4 2006, 10:40 AM

Nobody locks their car doors.

Everyone puts their car keys above their heads behind the shade flap.
If there's no keys, don't worry. it only takes three seconds to jump start a car with wiring beneath steering.

Everyone screams and runs during a disaster. Taxis get destroyed the most.

Police ALWAYS shoot at a monster/giant robot/dinosaur/alien even though they know it doesnt injure them. (haven't they watched movies)?

Bad guys always outrun good guys. They can jump over cars.

People always smell flowers when they receive them. (WHY???)

Also, in tamil movies, the couple singing and dancing can teleport from a hillside with only grass and rocks to a countryside with a tree and then teleport to town with people singing and dancing along, then all of a sudden teleport back to the hill all the while singing and dancing...

in action movies: after all that fighting and shooting, finally the good guy (female usually) is able to point a gun at the bad guy (male usually)... and start talking crap, until the bad guy is able to come near her and counter her again.... and kena shot in the struggle suddenly...

just shoot while u can FFS... esp the legs if u dont wanna kill

This post has been edited by tadasu: May 4 2006, 12:04 PM

and after dancing, comes fighting, and then the good guy will find out that his opponent is his brother...

Those who are going to die, they won't die immediately, they will always talk everything and finish it off before they died.. in real life, when a person is dying, they couldn't even talk at all, how the hell in movie they can always finish what they wanted to

In tamil movies: The sound of a punch has a delay of like 1 second. It's normally HIT, then only "BWOFFGH"

Speaking of that, whats with the sound of "BWOFFGH" and "BISH BISH" when people are punching each other? You won't find that in real life.

People don't scream when they get shot in the movies, they just open their mouth and mutter some sh|t. In real, I think they'd pee in their pants and scream till their tonsils burst.

tamil movies again.....the hero holding a revolver with only 6 bullets somehow can kill 600 enemies while jumping here and there without even looking at them. dang, their revolver are even better than a para...

nice one

tamil movies

a rich girl falls in love with a poor guy,she wants to marry him,but somehow,her parents object it.She runs away in an open field,the sun above her head,tall beautiful grass,no trees.But somehow it started to rain...not drizzling,the rain goes down like shit!and there in the middle of the field,her loved one..standing on a tree(somehow now theres a tree)they run towards each other,but pass through...the girl grabs the tree and goes behind while singing a song,and running and playing hide and seek...then the last part..they come close,closer,closer,closer,and just as they were about to kiss the girls starts singing and screaming again and runs away...and the guy gets shot from behind...when he falls down its HER FATHER WHO SHOT HIM!!!she turns around and goes to her loved one and cries...he says his last words ingeprungihshjdgehf...(suddenly a short bursst of english)"I Love U...AGHHH"....she tthen says she hates her father...and her father slaps her face 'SHPIAKH!"

she runs away to the city,and everyones riding bicycles...and sheesh theres another 5 more hours of MOVIE!!

Tamil movie:

- Can guling guling down the hill without any injuries, and when you get up from the guling part your clothes are automatically transformed to a new one with different colour, then continue play hide-and-seek behind trees where you hide once and then come out with new costume.

- The hero will never die, he's got aura in his punch that whenever he punch someone we can hear "DUSHHH" or "BISHHHH" sound and even before the fist can reach the enemy's face, the enemy magically flew damn far away.

- Indian villains always drink either whiskey (rich one) or todi (poor one)

- When you are in love, your friends will come out of nowhere (and i mean a whole big ass bunch of them) and starts dancing, so will your lover's.

- The uncle will always be the bad guy / betray the family.

- The police will NEVER arrive during the fight, only after the fight they will come to do the cleaning up

dun forget malay movies la kawan.....

1) when a couple is dating, their dining place must be a dimmed litted "fancy" restaurant. both of them will be drinking orange juice since more high class than the normal sirap ais.

2) juz like tamil movie except no dancing and singing, the romantic place to date is the beach where they will walk and walk until they reach a coconut tree. coconut trees are famous for couples in malay movies to hang out, god knows why...their normal conversation must have some english words, "You cintakan I tak?"...etc etc...

3) now, the standard and official disease for sick characters in malaysian movies are brain cancer. no matter what it is, they sure kena brain cancer. and normally in the hospital, the acting doctor will be holding a clip file walking with a nurse and with a serious face he will tell the family members "minta maaf, kami sudah cuba sedaya upaya".....

4) when a sick person is near his/her death, they have all the time they need to say their sorries and bla bla bla.....before they die

5) actors are too young to act as father and too old to act as a son. same goes to female. eg: rosyam nor....

there are more, will update later....

The only thing i know about malay movie is alot of "I" and "You"

I think Indians are improving with their movies...unlike Malaysians...But except the Indians still sings and dance, plus their sound efects not so cacat edi....BTW....In Malay movies...
-There is one poor guy trying to marry a rich gurl...
-Orphans....
-"Sorry lah Maria...I sudah takde feeling ngan You"
-The guy commits adultery
-Their police are not like they are in reality
Well, I dunno lah...cuz long time nvr watch Malay movies edi....But I like Singapore movies,Hong Kong Movies, and etcetera

LMAO. Wait till some bollywood ppl browse this thread.

and the compulsory drink in malay movies/drama in restaurant is....Orange juice SURPRISE!!

you guys are forgetting the most important thing in malay movies...


TEARS!

no idea why,but every movie sure got someone crying...

indian movie pun sure got crying...every minute

i learn that pepper spray works lor...

click on my sig 2 get 1

a bullet or a kick can send a person flying beck 10 metres..

ROFL this is the best one .

At the end of the of the days, he finally realize his enemy actually is his long lost bro or father...

sound alot like metal gear...

IN Chinese movie

-there are always some ppl out there that unknown to Robert Ripley can jump higher than Superman.
-A Glock is always better than an AK-47
-A rookie cop will always die the same way if shot. Wiggle, fall down, wiggle, fall down.
-They never watch movies

Hindi
-Ppl there always have punching sound effects.
-All ppl living in India MUST know how to dance and sing

Malay
-Favourite place to date, KLCC
-Police will always arrive 3 seconds late
-Never run into roadblock during Racing Haram scene
-Can get extremely high on drugs, don't matter what kind as long as it's drug

It's always possible to kill someone by first looking at their reflection on something then jump out and shoot them using a handgun when the bad guy packs a machine gun.

I juz watched Mission Impossible...lol nice..not like m'sian movies
An one more thing...They use really expensive car and then blast it and bang it...

This post has been edited by .:zaxiao:.: May 6 2006, 06:41 PM

Bad guys will always shot the shirt you throw out when you're hiding and somehow will be distracted for 10 seconds so you can kill all of them

Wow the jokes are great

this thread should be move to Music/Movies

Courtesy of Overlord (a MMU super Senior)

HORROR MOVIE SURVIVAL GUIDE

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house move away immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go it alone.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, *leave the room immediately if you value your life.*
If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
Do not take *anything* from the dead.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.
Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.

MALAY MOVIES! AHAHAHA! I got some!

- old grandmothers and grandfathers will always fall sick on their deathbed in an old wooden house.

-"fress" oren with umbrellas are the only drinks available in restaurants.

-every family has a secret adopted child.

-handsome young malay men who likes to laugh are lying two timing playboys. They are probably heavy drinkers too.

-all middle aged malay men drive proton sagas.

-if a man reaches home at 3 am, it means he was out clubbing/drinking.

-slapping will leave absolutely no marks whatsoever

This post has been edited by slickz: May 7 2006, 01:03 PM

yeah..... im the one crying

not only in restaurants but at hotel rooms as well,which is overlooking the window,and KLCC is at the background
hahah,confirm punya

And one more thing....Can somone bleed on the mout after kena one slap??

Chinese movies/sitcoms are full of people flying around and almost every guy in the show will have a sexy thin moustache .

Hindi movies are full of bull crap fighting where the main guy can beat down an entire army , shoot without reloading , send 20 men flying out the window with just a swing of an arm and dance better than John Travolta .

Malay movies . . I don't know since there ain't much identity to it . They're all just full of love love love or wannabe stand up comedians .

You guys forgoteen swat and war movie.

Swat/ Terrorist movies.

The side the main character takes will provide his faction extreme uberness.

E.g If the main character is a terror then the terrorist will be extremely well organize and the Swat will pratically do nothing and just point guns at no where while the terrorist do what they like and at most they will respone only when the terror is long gone.

And If main chara is Swat then the Terror will be super noob and the swat can take their sweet time to attack.

The Terrorist leader can only be taken down by the Main Chara no matther how way outnumber and outgun the terror leader is.

Snipers are most of the time for Deco.

Neigoiate never works at all.

War movie

No matther how outgunned and outnumber the Americans are they can always win the fight or hold off until reinforcement.

The killing ratio for 1 american soldier for its enemy is alway 4-10x of the enemy.

The Main chara force is always alone, his reinforcement and support squad will always be wipe out.

The Americans always win in every 1 vs 1 battle from airplane, tank and infantry. The only time it will be lossing is being outnumber.

Ammunation is rarely a factor in the battlefield.

This post has been edited by redeye84: May 8 2006, 04:36 AM