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 Do Chinese men still pay girl's family a dowry?, Bride price to be more accurate.

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pkh
post Jun 5 2013, 04:07 AM

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So far, from the general chinese community, it's still a 'yes'. I've only seen a few rare exceptions where both couples are Christians and bypassed this tradition. But anyway, the money thing is more of a cultural and social thing rather than religion. In other words, there's a VERY high chance the groom side will have to pay the bride's parents in a chinese community. It doesn't matter whether both are professionals or not. It's more on the parents rather than the couple. Some parents continue this practice just for the sake of tradition.

Normally, the groom will give a certain amount and the bride parents returns some. How much do they return is up to them. The ones I've witnessed before ranged from 1% to 90%. With that margin, there's no way to figure out an average.

Personally, I hate the idea of giving money to the bride parents. It's like what Tony Stark said about giving up his Ironman suit.
pkh
post Jun 5 2013, 05:26 AM

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I don't have a doctor example. I have heard of a Chartered Accountant couple where the parents returned 80%.

This is a tradition from the olden days where the wife is not allowed to go back home whenever she wants. So, the money is something like a 'duit pencen' to the parents for releasing the daughter. And the wife is to serve the husband. But nowadays, wives are more brutal. Still, when there's an advantage in terms of money, people just stick to the tradition. Just like the question of whether daughters should inherit the parent's property.

The amount is somewhat tricky. The girl side parents will always say cin-cai. But when you give them a cin-cai amount, things start to heat up.

The money for the 'dowry' is handled separately from the dinner expense. The joint dinner is usually paid using the ang pau collected from guest. But I've seen some extreme cases where the boy side foots the entire bill and the girl side keep the cash.

 

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