Apr 17 2006, 02:28 PM
QUOTE(MaXfly @ Apr 17 2006, 01:29 PM)
just a suggetion:
I had maintained an excellent academic record thoughout my high aschool, currently studying at xxx college, my CGPA is 3.8.
I think you should shorter some of sentences; try to keep you letter to the point. short & simple without using too many word filler.
agree. Do not have much time to go through your essay. But here are some mistakes in my opinion. Why dont u pay someone to help u restructure your essay? I am sure it is worth the money. I had maintained an excellent academic record thoughout my high aschool, currently studying at xxx college, my CGPA is 3.8.
I think you should shorter some of sentences; try to keep you letter to the point. short & simple without using too many word filler.
For me, it is more interesting than studying pure science because biotechnology not only establishes a foundation of basic knowledge in biology and chemistry(need reviewing)
I (am) often fascinated by the numerous application of the biological product,
and also (become) well- prepared for the competitive biotechnology industry in various sectors. (competitive sectors in the industry?) (IMO)
Attending college not only explores a wider array of subjects in science, but also explores myself. (need reviewing)
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