Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

 I've editted my letter, please leave comments, urgent~need help

views
     
GrooveCoverage
post Apr 17 2006, 02:28 PM

Enthusiast
*****
Senior Member
724 posts

Joined: Jan 2003


QUOTE(MaXfly @ Apr 17 2006, 01:29 PM)
just a suggetion:
I had maintained an excellent academic record thoughout my high aschool, currently studying at xxx college, my CGPA is 3.8. 

I think you should shorter some of sentences; try to keep you letter to the point.  short & simple without using too many word filler.
*
agree. Do not have much time to go through your essay. But here are some mistakes in my opinion. Why dont u pay someone to help u restructure your essay? I am sure it is worth the money. rclxms.gif

For me, it is more interesting than studying pure science because biotechnology not only establishes a foundation of basic knowledge in biology and chemistry(need reviewing)

I (am) often fascinated by the numerous application of the biological product,

and also (become) well- prepared for the competitive biotechnology industry in various sectors. (competitive sectors in the industry?) (IMO)

Attending college not only explores a wider array of subjects in science, but also explores myself. (need reviewing)



 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0158sec    0.46    6 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 26th November 2025 - 07:45 PM