We didn't MAKE her boil medicine .. and I did advice and sometimes scold him many times to go home and see her and spend time with her but he refuse. I can't force people to do things against their will right? I'm just a third party in this family feud. His mother wants me to side her, he wants me to side him. That's why I'm here for help my friend. It's ok I'm ready for criticism .. it's a very subjective topic unless somebody experience it EXACTLY the way I am experiencing now  There's no right and wrong answers here but helpful advice would be much appreciated

That's why I said "sometimes" I scold him .. mostly I advice cause he's still a man after all.. no point raising voice at him. I even planned for dim sum breakfast with her and his younger brother before but it never work .. he just doesn't want to do it. I really don't want to be the bad person here and I definitely don't want to make myself look like a victim. I hope you understand. Even during CNY I purposely buy her a big expensive CNY hamper to cheer her up, as a reason to see her personally alongside with my boyfriend. In fact even when his mother do come and hand over the herbal drinks she personally made, he would send me to see her instead. He wouldn't want to see her because they'll end up arguing like cats and dogs .. both would be raising their voices outside our home and neighbours would be looking 

I did talk to his mom personally before that he's a grown person already and that in order to talk to him, we have to treat him like an adult. But still the same .. whenever she DO see him, she would nag him with a strict and firm tone. And it's been like this for many years and he just .. snapped. He couldn't handle it anymore. Even his aunt (mother's sister) had to tell her directly many times to stop treating him like a young child. Maybe like what others mentioned here .. she's traditional. And at times she can be so traditional that if he's sick for a long time, she would quickly bring him to see a medium instead of a read doctor thinking it's some "dirty" things disturbing him.

I'm lost ... 

... I'm sorry to hear about your story ...    Nah not solved yet. I need to find the right time and place to talk to my bf cause he doesn't like me bringing it up. It embarrasses him. No not solved yet... Yesterday night she called him again say she wanted to come to our place to give him medicine and herbal drink again. He didn't want to. He knew it'll lead to another loud argument outside our house cause she would nag him and neighbours would stare again. Aihz ...    Both mother and son very stubborn.

That's why I kept advising him that he should go home every now and then and spend time with her. Bring her out for dim sum breakfast. I try to organize also he don't want. So partly also it's his fault I must say. But easier to deal with him than his mother .. scary leh deal with future MIL  He doesn't have sisters and he's the first born so yea.. pretty natural he's the favourite. On top of that he looks a lot like his ex-father (divorced parents).

Myself can't say the same. My mother (divorced parents too) favor my brother more than me. He's first born of course. When I wanted to buy house and I'm short of RM5-8k, my mother would say, "Don't ask me .. I don't have the money to lend you"

Then a week later she (probably forgotten what she told me about no money) shared her plans to GIVE (not lend) RM15k to my brother to open a mobile phone shop business .... Imagine my dilemma of holding back my anger. And that was just one of thousands of things that happens to me that shows how much she favours my brother more than me. I'm like a black sheep in the family and it feels empty.

Hmm topic seems to be running off...