eat!!!!! hahaha

eeuuww??

i write to express all my anger. mostly on my blog. haha

normally i watch anime till i go crazy, since im kinda broke and im not a good chatter with guys. T.T and i don't wanna look like a huge watermelon about to burst..but watching too much anime doesn't seem to settle my problem..

um...i have a past problem that is still hanging in my heart... i know that this problem of my frenship is hard to mend it back but im just thinking if there is a way to save my friendship back. well i hav an old school mate best fren who is one year younger then me name Aki *not her real name*.we have been frens almost 5 years until times changes alot wen i started to work and she studying in college and met some new frens. there were time i just don't know how to help her wen she have love problems. because i never gone through b4 and she has a broken family so she relies on me more then her family to help her.so i tried my best and support to help her.but my parents dislike me for involving into her love problems too much.so i avoid helping, afraid wat im doing may damage more for her relationship.
then she told me she had another college fren as her bestfren named Bety. i kinda dislike the idea but tried to get along. Bety is a nice gal but...always sticking to A and both of them always ignored me wen we are outing or shopping. then there were one time wat Aki did made me very angry is that she likes 2 guys and one of them i like him too. but sadly, i know he likes Aki more then me, but im still feeling not fair and angry. so in the clouds of anger i wrote alot bad stuff in journal about Aki but didn't mentioned about my liking to the guy.and she read it all up and show it to her college fren.that was my worst childish mistake of showing my anger to her.
so Aki thinks that i simply hates her because of jealousy on so much attention she gets and ignores me.(which is actly half-half true)
i know i did a big mistake and i asked advice from my mom, she says to ignore her coz of her bad habit of lifestyle and her childish char isn't worth a good frenship. but...i do like her as my bestfren but kinda hated her for being abit ignorant. so she called me with Bety on her side, we fought and i give alot stupid reason on why i wrote such an awful journal and so... our bestfren ends there.but after that, i did say sry to her on9 but she didn accept it. saying " sorry is no cure! how can ur lilttle sry can repair my heart" and my bro say that is so childish of her. i kinda agree with him..but i didn't know that i hurt her that extreme or she simply just too stubborn.

so the next few days, she called me several times to chat or hang out abit coz Bety went overseas to study for a year. i was kinda happy that we could talk again eventhough she is still dating with the 2 guys. but...wen Bety returns, i feel like not wanting to call Aki to chat anymore since now she stick to Bety like glue and her other 2 guys.but i always see Aki treat the guy i like not too lovingly anymore but maybe he did something to made her angry or something else. but i culdn't budge in coz the guy may still love her and some more i barely know him much.so i try to distant myself. im not sure isit okie to msg him how is he lately...
coz i don't want to betray Aki again.and really missed Aki as my bestfren. sigh...i don't know wat to do~!! >.<' i have no sis to turn to or other frens~ coz most of them will give a disappointing answer such as "eer..leave this to god la.pray hard that ur fren forgive u la." or " aiya, ppl like them no need to care la, just go find other fren la" that is true..but i don't seem to find fit in anywer or even praying so hard won't solve the problem.. T.T sob* sob*

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Added on July 4, 2008, 4:43 pmbtw..how do i get feedbacks? i always have a extreme hard time knowing anybody replying me >.<'

This post has been edited by laiciplayspiano: Jul 4 2008, 04:43 PM

umm very deep . . .i mean very deep shit ur into . . . . .but I think the best place to ask about relationship problems is http://forum.lowyat.net/CupidsCorner

laiciplayspiano,

No need to care who's wrong and wrong's right.. try to meet and mix with new people.. i know it's hard but without trying u wont know it does work someway.. start it from ur fren around.. contact those u hv long lost fren..

as for ur best fren, we just a outsider n do wat we can do... so dun interpret her personal life.. wat u can do is just giving advise n some sort of support (if u think u need to) other than tat is out of our control.. u cant change her o even make her to follow wat u wan.. let her be.. one day she will know her mistake.. as for the guy u like, try not to contact him tat much.. keep it as normal fren.. i believe u dun wan to lost 2 frens in 1 straight rite?

Continue to do the praying for your own good.. one day u wil get the repay.. n of coz dun give too much of expectation think that God wil grant everything u wan.. 1st u need to do is believe on urself n improve it.. things doesnt comes automatically.. we need to make the move to get what we wan.. tat's y we say Believer.. u must believe on urself 1st..

Good luck

eat...

sleep...

shopping.. if got $$

listening to MUSIC~!

As for me.. i will sleep the whole day..or take a pen and conteng on a paper until i feel better..its work for me

in the silent mode whole day..

cry or eat...hiak hiak...

By eating, i feel relaxed. With the food so tasty it makes my mouth bend upwards after depressing. I'll keep putting food in2 my mouth even though im very full, n after eating all those food i'll hv this kind of hatred n guilty in me for wat i'v done 2my body, then exercise d next day, exercise!

Writing 2my diary or blogging is another way of 2releasing my thoughts.
Chatting on9 with strangers can cheer me up2.
Music! Soothing music + an article/book will calm me down.
I admit i do keeps things 2myself, until i stand no more i'll explode (mood swing, really depress) , i'll stay away frm my frens & family n go shop/park alone (coz i1 2clear my thoughts away).
i'll hv my hairstyle changed, buy new clothing, made me a new person.
After ur madeover u'll be proud n happy of urself.
Depress no more~

Is it weird?

This post has been edited by BHS: Jul 8 2008, 01:45 AM

ur picture suits u

most of my fd (gals) will find or grab their gf and complain.. hahaha

If your depressed, just have a "you" day, guaranteed happiness the next day depending on certain factors of course D:

haha..i like d pic vr much though.. erhem..so ur gals' fren like terpaksa accompany them n listen 2deir complain n so so lo? hmm...gud thing o bad thing le..

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Added on July 9, 2008, 2:29 amyup, quite agree..well then, wat do u guys actually do when depress? punch at ppl who walked faster than u? scold %$#@ at hot gals who winked at u (actually hv sand get in2 d gals' eyes, u jz misunderstood)? so um..

This post has been edited by BHS: Jul 9 2008, 02:29 AM

. . Mamak?? Stare at fishies?? Go for a drive?? Sleep?? Have a man cry?? /wrist??
I dunno (And I must be pretty suicidal to scold hot girls winking at me )

those are very low lvl of depression

one of my friends is having depression. she commit suicide.

yea i know. stupid. but when you doesn't know what they've gone thru, please do not add sugar and salt sayying suicide is the stupid-est things to do in this world.

you're not even in that level of depression yet. you wouldn't know what you will do if you're her

so the best thing i can say is, always be there for your friend even if they've lied / betray you before. it doesn't mean they wont change

for me if love problem will feel sad o cry
but now just start work, feel more depress make me really till of life and so far away from family.I'm trying so hard no to cry in office n at home.but the effect is will explode 1 day where u'll feel sad,stress,depress and agngry all mix up cant sleep and heart pain.duno how to explain.just wonder any of u experience it.

cutting yourself is not the solution..... don't worry, feeling depressed is normal.... i feel depressed too, sometimes, life can be so miserable, you don't know where to turn to..... i think this forum is a good place to ventilate.... if you feel depressed in the future, you could share you problems in this forum.... or share it with your friends and family... or if u need something faster and more individual, call the befrienders: http://www.befrienders.org.my/ (absolute confidentiality)
03-79568144 (i always save this number in my hp, just in case i may need it)...
and i have a story to share with you here : Attempt suicide

you are not alone, many people feel the same way, but suicidal is NOT the solution... think of your love ones.... learn to at least, love yourself


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haha.. i can imagine u driving ur car around d block of ur hse round n round n round.. cute~ but now petrol price hike so can't do dat d lo?

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Added on July 10, 2008, 12:09 amya, i noe wat u mean, coz i'v been in dat state b4, really suffocating. But hey, it's nothing wrong to cry, even 4guys. Coz u'll feel a lot better (not becoz u finally can let go holding ur mucus from flowing out so long).
I used 2hang wif my sis 24/7, at times wen i need her she'l b der 4me. Wen i started work n she left me at workplace 2further her studies at somewhere else. i not familiar with lots of thing at my workplace, i hv difficulties adapting my position der. It was very very heartbroken 4me 2leave my frens (i used 2stay v dem during STPM) 2start work, wenever i face difficult times der r oways my frens' features n memories flash tru my mind, i really wanted to make calls 2dem n say i miss dem, im really lost n unsecure i need dem by my side. I often broke down in a hidden corner of my workplace wen called my sis tru phone, but she's still cnt b wif me, solve my miseries.

ok skip d long story, all i wanted 2say is it is ok 2miss some1. I've adapted myself well n now problems come, solve it urself, mz learn not 2depend on sm1 2much. u can try 2make urself bc so dat u won oways missing sm1, n mz noe hw2 find some entertainment 2distract u frm depression. Gv urself a bit of time, u sure can get tru ur hard times.

This post has been edited by BHS: Jul 10 2008, 12:09 AM

These feet were made for walkin, that's just what they'll do