QUOTE(mumeichan @ Jul 26 2008, 09:24 PM)
I'm translating the book Home is the Sailor to practice Japanese. Please point out any errors I made. Thank you.
Claude and Sparky lived by the sea
Claude to Sparky wa umi no chikaku ni sunde imasuClaudeとSPARKは海の近くに住んでいますEach day they would sail their little boat in the quiet bay.
Karera wa mainichi shizuka na wan ni chiisai yotto o soujuu suru彼らは毎日静かな湾に小さいヨットを操縦する。Claude often felt restless and wanted to know what lay beyond
the lighthouses.
raitohousu yori saki ni nani ka ga aru o shiritai kara claude wa
yoku ochitsukanaiライトホウスより先に何かあるを知りたいからclaudeは落ち着かないsparky was more of the stay at home type, who felt worried
everytime claude brought out the maps and charts
sparky wa daitan na no nai kara claude ga jikokuhyou ya chizu
nado o toridasu to sparky wa shinpai ni narusparkyは大胆なのないからclaudeが時刻表（じこくひょう）や地図などを取り出すとsparkyは心配になるOne balzing summer's afternoon, claude was feeling hot.
Aru atsui hi claude wa atsusa wo kanjiteruある暑い日claudeは暑さを感じてるHe decided to set sail for the south where it would be cooler.
（１）seiryou na minami e kettei o soujuu shimashita
（２）seiryou na minami e soujuu suru koto ni kimemashita
（１）清涼な南え決定を操縦しました
（２）清涼な南操縦すれことに決めましたSparky suggested that they spend the day with a good book and
a glass of icy lemonade
sparky wa ii hon o yomu shi remonnedo o nonde teian shitasparkyはいい本を読むしレモンエドを飲んで提案したHowever claude was determined to go and steered the little boat
out of the bay
demo cluade wa minami iku koto ni kimemashita dakara wan yori
saki e chiisai yotto o soujuu shiteruでもclaudeは南いくことに決めましただから湾より先え小さいヨットを操縦してるErr...confusing...you're kinda dependent on the usage of kanji aren't you?
because i feel that you're like translating it into chinese grammar by using too much katakana and kanji
1 obvious disadvantage of using kanji is hard to get what you mean if only listening to it(well, it does make sense when i was reading)
kanji is not a "too official" word use, which i found it in your translation where most of them are "onyomi" 音読み instead of the "common" kanji which is kunyomi "訓読み" pronounciation which is more "official"
e.g. 操縦 somewhat sounds like 運転 which is like driving a car, to make it a whole sentense of "riding a boat to a place", it was translated into something like "claude go to a place, manipulate the boat"- which is wrong, you may want to consider to try this -> "(誰か) は舟で(どこか)え行く" which means someone go to somewhere by boat, btw i never heard "yotto" before, and have no idea does it exist so heres another disadvantage for katakana usage. 乙！
Jul 24 2008, 12:07 PM
Quote
0.0544sec
0.52
7 queries
GZIP Disabled