Hi guys/gals,

I recently trying to wrote a story set in a distant future. Could you guys lend me some eyes and read it. Please do comment on it so I could improve it further.

The story is at:
http://www.chrisalsyt.blogspot.com

This post has been edited by PhoenixByte: Jan 16 2006, 10:31 AM

Hmm.. not my type of genre. Sorry.

Why not you make the chapters wider? It's pretty hard to read as you've only written few sentences per entry.

Thanks for taking the time to visit.

DragLung,
Do you mean the actual pdf files or the entry that describes the chapters? If it's the pdf files, then I'll make the next chapter longer.

I agree with DragLung...

It's better to write a chapter which is longer, much longer than the ones that you've posted which look like random posts rather than a story, no offence intended, but that's how i feel...

i mean, might as well put the entire chapter in your blog instead of a short, too short intro... easier to view, and don't need to dl..

But i've a feeling this would be a good story, very futuristic, kinda like my cup of tea...

keep it up, looking forward to it.

This post has been edited by StarGhazzer: Jan 17 2006, 10:33 AM

StarGhazzer,

Ok..point noted. I've changed it as u have suggested. Thanks for taking the time to visit my story blog.