Firstly I want to address TS

I'm sorry to hear of your dad's irresponsible behavior. I can only imagine your sense of shock and betrayal you felt.

Having said that, take the feeling you felt and multiply it by 10.
that would be approximately what your mom will feel if she ever finds out.
Bearing in mind she almost committed suicide the last time she found out your dad was unfaithful, it is logical NOT to let your mom know.

What can you do?
You and your siblings must make extra effort to make your mom happy.
What ever you have done in the past that made her happy, do it more.
take her mind off your dad, occupy her with social activities. bring her out for shopping, involve her with other ladies of her age group.

find out your mom's favorite activities and participate in them with her.
find out her dreams, what she wanted to do when young but didn't because she had you and your siblings. get to know her deeper than you have ever known her before.

The whole idea is to give her new purpose, new interest, new social life JUST IN CASE she ever finds out about what your dad did.

if she never finds out, then she would have lived a much more fulfilling life.
if she does find out, she has something else to move on to and that will ease the pain she will feel.

I know it's not much but that's all you can do as children.

Now for the side issue.
from the many responses, can we all agree that 7-8 out of 10 feel that in essence, marriage is sacred and partners should be faithful to each other?

I actually feel sorry for folks like jayqc because of the shallowness of their worldview.
to such people, it's "Me first".

maybe jayqc is still young. Does he still have parents? are they still together?
if they are. how would he feel if he found out one day, mom is unfaithful to dad, or dad is having an affair? Would he still be so flippant? Or has it already happened to his parents? (I sincerely hope not!!)

The point i'm trying to make is this.
It's easy to make comments when it does not involve you personally.

you should put yourself in TS's shoes before you post.

Exactly how old are u jayqc??

no, I think he should tell us himself.

He should not be afraid to.

He's not afraid to state his worldview openly, so why be afraid to let us know how old he is?

this is an open forum where all our real identities are obscured.

what anyone thinks of me will be of no consequence, unless i am insecure and need their approval.

I say what i think is right and i will stand by it.

oh. so i guess i better start. Right?

I'm 51.

jayqc?

Ah. 21, Unmarried. Single without gf?

possibly parents still happily together.

jayqc. I am sure you love your mom.

if you found out today that your dad has a kid and a mistress, what will your first reaction be?

a) Yahoo! i have a little brother/sister!
b) shit.

wow. really?

was i wrong when i said i am sure you love your mom?

jayqc.
you must know when to further your arguments and when to retreat in order not to appear an absolute idiot.

---

Added on June 20, 2012, 2:45 pm

your are indeed wrong. I do not really love my mom.

[/quote]

good God!

i feel so sorry for you.
but i am even more sorry for your mom.

unless she has been unfaithful to your dad, you should have no reason to say that.

as you should jayqc, as you should.

by the way, where is TS?

This post has been edited by yaokb: Jun 20 2012, 04:02 PM

fyi. i have been married 23 years, and never once have i succumbed to such temptation.

why? because i chose not to.

love is not just feeling. it is an act of will.

when you choose to get married, you are saying to your spouse. i am yours exclusively and similarly you are mine.
it takes will power to abstain from the many temptations in the working world, but not impossible to do.

to succumb to such temptation is to act immature, to put your own interests before the interests of your spouse and family.

if you succumb, you are in effect saying, i am weak and i have no self control.

every other reason is just an excuse.
wife not loving la, no longer beautiful la, got seduced la. got tricked la.

such men never think, my wife has given up everyone else to be with me, therefore, i must reciprocate the sacrifice and remain faithful.