Girls in general are attracted to guys who can handle themselves in the real world. Being a so called otaku, you confine your interest in something made up or a sub-culture. Otaku, rabid gamers, star trekkies, etc ... they all fall into same category. They choose to 'live' in a made-up universe, disconnected to real life matters or worse not able to distinguish between realities. To some, this is unappealing or may be deemed as geeky.

Well I see that I had a few going on a defensive with my views. I did not put down any anime lovers. My context of discussion is with regards to someone who is on the extreme side. I'm not saying being otaku is bad, I just saying why certain people find a real otaku as a turnoff.

But of course, I do realize here the Generation Y out numbers Generation X'ers ...so what am I thinking? You guys love your anime and collectibles. But you know what ? I know girls that are ambitious to climb up corporate ladders, girls that had to raise siblings while parents earn money, girls raised by strict family and are religious, girls who love adventures like diving, mount climbing, marathons. These are everyday people. What do they think of otaku guys? ... take a guess.

Nobody is saying being otaku is wrong. If you are all talking about smart, modern outgoing women presented with an otaku , ask yourself: turn on/turn off ?
Of course you can always look for a girl who like the same stuff as you do. Then problem solved.

This is where I put my villain cloak on. There is a very fine line between self motivation and making excuses for yourself.

Let me be the a$$hole for saying this. I don't get anything for saying this, in fact i might just get more hate but just food for thought.

People who don't feel they are good enough always whine. Then others will come and say things like 'be yourself', 'your friends are the problem, not you', 'the right person will accept you for the real you'. Great right ? The problem is with other who don't see the real you. It's not your problem. Just continue being the imbalanced you.

We must always improve. There is always a better version of you if you are willing to strive for it. If you see a girl you like, then be the better guy that is worthy of her love. Don't give lazy excuses like she will come around and accept me for who i am. Positive thinkers think of it as improvements. Negative thinkers think of it as changing to impress others.

You want to stay who you are fine, but if she or people never come around to accept you, don't be bitter and say they look down on you. Your happiness is your own responsibility, other people are just busy looking after theirs.

..and right on queue, my point is demonstrated here. People don't accept you then the problem is with them.
Sometimes we should ask ourselves, what makes us worthy of her acceptance ? Put yourself in the other party's shoes. If you think its all about you, and not about you understanding and decrypting her wants/needs, then you are in for a roller coaster ride.

This post has been edited by killdavid: Jun 2 2012, 09:56 PM

Maybe you don't see the point. You perception is always skewered to the extreme.
Let me break it down to you.

TS ask a very general questions, do girls like otaku guys. My general answer is probably not.
If he had asked do casual anime fan girls like otaku guys, I'd say yes.
Then he goes on to say everytime he tells those girls he is an otaku guy, they just write him off. Then everyone here says 'stay who you are, the problem is with those girls, they are not worth it'. I say NO. The problem is with TS. The problem is NOT him liking anime or collecting plastics and metal. The problem is him not segregating his otaku universe with our world. Like it or not, anime culture is not widely accepted here as in jpn. It is a fringe culture, but growing (God save us all). If you want to have a chance at hitting off with girls, don't go up to them casually and say 'Hi, I am an otaku and my bedroom is littered with toys'. You are just going to sell yourself short.

All you have to do is make a good impression and get on their good side. Once you have got a firm footing at a relationship, by then she would be thinking what a great guy you are ...then you break it out gently to her 'Oh, by the way, don't freakout if you see robots in my room'. So even if anime is not her thing, she would at least know the real you and maybe that is the only thing that matters. Don't go babbling on and on about your toys or your fav cartoon dream girl. Its a deal breaker. I still say the problem is with TS.

This post has been edited by killdavid: Jun 3 2012, 09:22 AM

It's cool. You are a anime and collectable fan. I get it. You will see what you want to see. I see no point trying to offer a different perspective to you.
It's clear that you see no justification in changing yourself to better fit your society but expect one day someone who understands will come along. They way i see it, you are leaving it to chance. That's cool, but there might be a chance that person will never cross path with you, and you can't turn back time.

Me, if I really want something, I go out and do something about it. This works out pretty well for me.

I find it a big irony that the TS asked this questions to the general public but chooses to object the views of non-anime fans. So at the end, is he seeking validation from fellow anime fans only ?

There are always two ways of looking at things here. uest91 says she find an anime freak a turn off. It is her preference and free will to choose. Yet she is being judged by many as judmental. If it is a girl rejecting a guy who has monstrous bad breath and vegetable stuck between his teath, you probably won't see people coming out to defend the guy who probably has a heart of gold. But when it comes to the popular hobby like anime ....lots of champions rise up to its defence.

Who says she is qualifying a person based on hobbies ? It is saying this guy or girl is not my type. That's all. I know basically everyone here loves anime but why so touchy ? You people are getting protective because it touches something you like.

If you look at it objectively and take the hobby example out of the context, it is no different than someone saying he doesn't like quiet girls cause he gets bored of them. It is his preference. He is not attracted to quiet girls. Are you going to bash him for his preference ? People can't be politically right for having own preferences ?

People don't choose who they get attracted to. It just happens. You can be an otaku with a heart of gold, but if a girl doesn't have the hots for you, then you can't make her, reason with her or lecture her into submission. Feelings come naturally.

This post has been edited by killdavid: Jun 5 2012, 11:45 PM

I think it is laughable that so many are looking at this topic with such a skewered view. It has nothing to do with personality. Someone just quoted the original question by TS which I will simulate in the same big picture, changing the minor details (yes, the anime part is not the main issue). For this case we give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they are all decent people with no personality problem.

TS is close to a girl and tells her his love for Java Programming. He tells her about this program he is working on with awesome classes using object oriented programming and with inheritance. Next day girl act like she is not interested in him. TS says programming is a respectable hobby and asks if he is fated to date fellow programmers.

Then everyone says the girl is the problem and is not worth being TS's friend.

The way I see it, TS is the cause of this predicament because he is creating the wrong impression. You bore others and make them lose interest when they cannot relate to your passion, which you are trying so hard to hype it up to her. Maybe you are not an anime extremist but they way you present yourself might seem so to a non-enthusiast and that is where you lose them. You failed in making a good impression or to create a spark. And if you keep insisting the problem is with others, then chances are high that you are fated to date another otaku. Not only do you refuse to accept your short coming and work on it, you become bitter that others don't give you the attention you desire.

What I always try to say is, if you want to get close to someone, try to understand them. Only then you can act accordingly to get their attention. Don't just blindly follow rule of thumbs.