THE DANGERS OF CREATINE MONOHYDRATE
By Tyler Stallings

I walked through the doors of GNC. It was the nearest GNC in San Diego, and I felt that I probably should have chosen one that wasn’t in my town. I should have gone to a place where no one would know me. I was already here, so there was no turning around. I could feel people eyeing me. It was as if they knew what I was here for. It was as if they could read my thoughts. I had a black hoodie and sunglasses on so people wouldn’t recognize me, but I had my doubts that they all bought the disguise. I approached the checkout counter and asked the clerk if he had any tubs of the C word. And he had the audacity to reply,

“Creatine?”

“Shut up! People are going to hear you!” I answered him. “Just give me the stuff”. To expedite the whole process I just handed him a one hundred dollar bill and left. I didn’t know how much it cost, nor did I want to know. I hurried home and ran straight up the stairs into my room. My mom was in the kitchen and I didn’t want her knowing what I was up to. I couldn’t lose her respect too. Seeing as I had already lost my own. I opened up the tub and a thin layer of white dust lifted into the air, as if following the lid that I was removing. I just stared at the dust. That very dust may have well as been a foreshadowing to my impending doom. I didn’t care to read the label on the back. I just took the little scooper inside and shoveled ten scoops into my water bottle. I shook the water bottle and tried to down the whole thing at once. I could feel the liquid hate running down my throat. When I finished. I began to panic. It was too late to go back. I had set my fate in stone. What would people say? How would I explain to my family what had happened? How could I explain my gain of 50 pounds of rock hard muscle over night? My friends will think I’m on steroids! I am on steroid! No! Not steroids… Creatine. In an attempt to hide the evidence of the disgusting thing that I had done, I tossed the tub of evil out my bedroom window. A thick cloud of the wicked white dust exploded through the air and covered the side of the house. I would deal with that later. An almost animalistic urge took me over. My internal clock knew what time it was. It was time for my workout. I was walking down the stairs when I started to feel the Creatine monster stirring inside of me. When I reached the bottom, I could barely feel who I was anymore. I walked past the kitchen and my mother asked if I wanted a turkey sandwich. I didn’t have time for this ****. I had iron to pump.

“NO MOM! I DO NOT WANT ANY GOD DAMN TURKEY SANDWICHES!! SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND GET BACK TO WORK!” I screamed. I wasn’t me anymore. I was just a shell. A shell holding a dangerous monster. A monster forged out of fear. A monster created by anger. A monster of Creatine. I walked into the home gym that was once my garage and looked at the squat rack. I felt a sudden tingle. A tingle that was telling me to attack the weights like a beast, and give no mercy to the immense amounts of weight that I was about to move. I walked towards the black squat rack with the determination of a lion on the hunt. When I stepped inside, I caught a glimpse of this odd creature in the mirror hiding behind my squat rack. But there was something about this small, frightened creature. I knew it. I felt it. It was me. When I came to the realization of what I had become. I dropped to my knees. Crying. And with a single deafening call, I screamed,

“WHAT HAVE I DONE?????” There was no turning back. There was apologizing. There was nothing I could do but cry. I laid on the floor balling my eyes out for a good seven hours. I cried so hard I felt at time my eyes would bleed. I felt a maelstrom of emotions inside of me. Fear, anger, hate, sadness, regret. But most of all, I felt free. In those seven hours, I had realized that what I had become couldn’t be changed, but I had to live with myself, and I still had to survive. After I had dried my eyes, I stood up, opened my garage door, and stepped out into my new world. My new home. My new gym. The world was my gym, and I could do with it what I pleased. While I still held some of the pitiful and weak emotions of my former self, I also felt a new sense of being. There was no force on earth that could stop me. I looked human, but I was better. I was faster, stronger, and smarter than an average human; my ATP production could not be matched. It was as if I had limitless energy for whatever I wanted. My increased water retention made me thirsty, but it also gave me the ability to go longer without food or water. I was a survival machine. A death machine. A Creatine machine. I began to stampede the streets of my former neighborhood. I was in search of something, but I didn’t know what. It was pure instinct. It was pure emotional drive that kept me moving. After thirty minutes I found that I had traveled around twenty miles and decided to stop for directions. I had a drive. And I finally knew where I was going. It was like a light bulb in my head had lit up, burned out and exploded. I was going to 5957 Vandal Way in Boise Idaho. The address was burned into my head. It was the bodybuilding.com supplement warehouse. That would be the obvious place my brain was telling me to go. They would have enough Creatine there to last me one thousand years! With my improved speed and strength, I could get there in a couple of hours. I began sprinting towards my destination. Leaping over trucks and cars. Pummeling through buildings. I was an angel of death, and the only thing that could get in my way was the almighty god. But I doubt there was much he could even do. When I arrived to the warehouse, I waited outside the main doors. I wanted to create a plan of action. My weaker inner self was telling me to do this with the least amount of casualties as possible. I decided I would walk in and pretend I work there. If anyone asked any questions about the three hundred pound muscle monster on the assembly line, I would probably roid rage so hard there would be nothing the workers could do and the death toll would probably be over nine thousand. I took a deep breath, set my eyes in the door, and casually opened it. When I stepped through the threshold of the warehouse. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I dropped to my knees immediately. I had my face in my hands trying to hold back the crying that was about to ensue. All of the employees, all of the packers, and assembly line workers, were just like me. They were all massive monsters of men. the only explanation for which could be the same substance that transformed ME! Creatine. They welcomed me with open arms as I walked in. the place felt like a sanctuary for my kind. Finally, after all of the pain that I had endured of the last twenty four hours, I was safe. I was happy. I was home.