We bought and old and run down house, and did a complete reno.. extending the side the back, both floors, changed all the doors, redo the roof, the whole works.. and all this while, I was the one who did the research, plan the layout, etc. We engage an indo contractor to do the wet works and coordinated all the other subcons... even for the big move, I had to spend time to giv directions....

To save money, we did not engage any architect or ID, and I used excel to plan my layout, and downloaded some ID software to do 3D drawings so that my Indon contractor know what I want...

It was time consuming, and very stressful, becuz my husband did not take the same efforts to study our needs or research.. when I ask for opinion he will say, up to me... and then, when I am very fussy about certain things, and then he will tell me, chin chai lah... Decisions are made not based on needs, or aesthetics, but on cost.... When I assigned him the job to do paint choices, instead of driving around neigbhourhood to see real colours inn live exampe, he just collected a color chart..

Now that the reno is finished, I can at least get the satisfaction that, 95% of the work is my efforts and I have done a good job... I thank God, whle my husband did not participate, my sister was a great help to me helping me with site supervision, take me to select materials etc. Because of her, I saved a lot of money... My indon contract charged me RM120k all in, but the chinese contractor wld have charged me easily 200k....

I agree, when we do not hve teamwork, it usually means, we have a relational problem, or the other paartner just hve poor attitude.. I guess there are loads of ppl like that around, evn in office!!

What wise words!!!! Yeah, set your eyes on the glass that is half full and try to look for silver linings is the way to go. I ofthen remind myself to do just that so I can be happy and at peace. I suppse the benefit of being in charge is, you get to do waht u want whiever way u want!!

It is right to say that we cannot change another person. Howevr, how many of us are born with the gift to supervise renovation, find contractors, do space planning, do 3D drawing, or manage investment and money? How many house reno we do in a life time? While some learn to manage better and faster than others, I think it all boils down to attitude. My son recently resolved to lose some weight, and he has been waking up to run and exercise. My fren's daughter who wants to lose weight has been going to the gym consisstently.... My friend who is a good cook, will try and try and try, learn rcipes to cook up a storm for her family. Why are people motivated to go the extra mile, while others just throw their hands in the air and just say, "Accept me, I am like that!"?

This is not a perfect world, but I would say, when we do not participate meaningfully, or be a good team player, we may not be showing very good example to the kids....