I shared my progress with friends and we all agreed that reno is the root of home quarrel. All have more or less the same story. Amazingly, all come to a conclusion, delegate responsibility. Wife handles the kitchen, man takes care of everything except kitchen.

Give her the free hand to how she WANTS her kitchen to be. That way, you reduce the unnecessary friction and argument. And that also will not mean you will have the peace of mind.

I, myself have had a fare bit of grumble and unhappy the things go. The reno taken up so much of my time and I do have my own biz to run too. Trouble with Indon contractors, house design, old and worn off parts that could not find replacement and etc. My legs were sour for standing long hours to supervise contractors. My wife does not care much and I told her off that I will make all decisions pertaining to all building material, color, furniture and fittings. Boy! What is a waste of time. I got to take her to decide on building materials. Double work.

And my wife did not bother to research ID. Working women want maintenance free things. Best if all furniture and fittings do not require care. Plastic!

So, she wanted blind instead curtain. My anger shoot over the roof that she does not take the initiative getting the curtain. Talk about today working woman!

The price of the blind for whole house came up to RM3k, roller blind. I thought it does not present good value. Blind as good as it may be, it is plasticky. So, I went shop for curtain. O man! A man shopping for curtain. That is odd, isn't it? I chat with the curtain boss, she told me that nowadays more men shopping for curtain. Man! It fueled further. What today women want? Zero responsibility.

I do not like sitting on things. Ok! I went on to decide on type and fabric for the curtain and waiting for a fight! Anyway my fashion taste is better than hers because she only visit the house less than 3 times. The last time she visit was the house is 95% finished. She did not say a word but showed a satisfied facial expression.

So, I wonder if others have similar encounter.

This post has been edited by limch: May 13 2011, 10:21 PM

I dont have any problem at all.... why? I let my wife choose colour, shape, etc

save headache, energy

Argument is good if it end with an conclusion.

Lim, agreed with you...especially when choicing the colou of tiles at Kitchen, and she want the floor to have black tile to prevent easy view of dist and dirty...but I disagreed as I will like Light colour not Black...
Endup &^*^%**(

Look like I still have next few days to disagreed and argurment...

NO for me, i decide everything include layout/ tiles/paint/ sanitary fitting/ grill design.....and deliver the empty house to her from there she choose the furniture/soft furnishings/ decor to match ...

U all are bless at least have a wife to quarel. I am a single mother and doing my reno all BY MYSELF. I have to decide everything by myself and sometime i am quite blur especially i dont know anything abt construction. Luckily i have an honest contractor and i trust him that he wont cheat me cos my previous house reno done by him too. But sometimes i need to look at his face color if i need to change design. If he is good mod, everything ok no extra charges. If he is bad mod (maybe quarel with wife) everything not ok if not tambah money. Recently i just cheated by a skylight company and they did my skylight wrong and looks very very very ugly. I dont know how to fight with him and end up i paid him 1k to get rid of him and ask him to take back the ugly skylight. I console myself that the 1k i had used it for donation and my heart wont be that sakit loh. I have a son age 15 and i let him chose the design for his bedroom, study room and bathroom. He is happy and sometime we have diagreement on other things but i told him i have the final decision right as i am paying for it!

Most of my customers are wives. Surprisingly, the wives could do all the preparation quite well, measurement, colour, design and etc all written & drawn in a book like an ID.

However, when a wife brings the husband along, 90% sure quarrel. Especially when deciding on the hood & hob. THe wife sure wants a good and expensive one like FOTILE but the husband would say "just get RUbine la RM 1k+ only". Then they start quarreling, at the end the wives will win as they will say "Now, who is doing the cooking? If u wan RUBINE, then u cook" ahhaha.

You should bring the his wive to the cheper equipment instead of expensive one...
You the trigger point
hahahaha

This post has been edited by Jo_da48: May 14 2011, 08:44 AM

My recent kitchen reno...it was I who made all the decision. Measured the first measurement to bring over to the kitchen contractor...choosing the colour...and choosing the hob & oven. I did ask my hubby on his views but at the end of the day..he said that it's my kitchen. ..though he does the cooking too.

sometimes there are good husbands like Rinyuu and phythia79's husband. Rinyuu asked his wife, "yang mana u suka" the wife sure select the nice and expensive 1, then he says "ok la suka hati u". At first he bought an ELBA hood at warehouse sale (very cheap) then bought a FOTILE hob from me. When they are about to install their Kitchen Cabinet, the wife says 1 ELba and 1 FOTILE do not look good, so he bought another FOTILE hood from me. What a nice husband.

Sometimes must take and give a little, husband let wife decide on the stuff in their territory (Kitchen) then husband got to decide what water pump to use, what toilet bowl or basin to get and etc.

This post has been edited by zheilwane: May 14 2011, 10:30 AM

heehhe...well..if toilet bowl or basin..i also will be the one to decide too but of coz..i'll always take into consideration my hubby's comments.

I'm rather surprise that some women came to this forum to seek recommendations and advice. My wife will leave everything to me even the kitchen layout, utensil and etc and later complain. She would at least try a bit to lighten my burden, but I did not see it coming.

---

Added on May 14, 2011, 8:17 pmHands on, you learn and you be strong. You stop learning, you will be dependent on others. I'm not in construction but I refused to sit there and doing nothing. That's me.

This post has been edited by limch: May 14 2011, 08:17 PM

Now, my wife a got big kitchen but it remained as show piece. This is dry area [attachmentid=2214106]. This is wet area.

Careful when you use black tile on your kitchen area, it will look small. You want a timeless design, wouldn't you.

This post has been edited by limch: May 14 2011, 08:36 PM


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I received an email trying to sell insurance to me. I hope those insurance agen stop doing this again as this is the forum for us to discuss and exchange opinion and to know where we can get good stuff.

I agree with limch, the worst part i felt is when they don't know what they want and yet could not agree with your decision. That really frustrates me.

While i was doing my kitchen renovation, i asked my wife what design she wants, colors, cooking equipments etc, and she is clueless. Not even bothered to find out more from friends or online and let me do all the research.

When i have decided on the design and colors, she said this and that not nice but when asked to decide, cannot do so because don't know what she herself wants and that is trigger point.

At the end, i just decided on everything because wasting time on waiting for her to decide on what she wants and wait for the fight.

lolz..... today i went did some "shopping" @ the shah alam home fair..... guess wat the sales person told me..... "nowadays more guys are doing the shopping for the house instead of the gals...." lolz

Exactly what I have encountered with my wife. Clueless! I took the troubles to research and seeking advice, go ahead with the design. White is safe.

You get frustrated sometimes. That why when guys chatting on reno, the guys stood up and could not agree more. They have had a similar experience shifting new house. They told me let the wife choose color and kitchen related things or not, her lips will be forever sealed.

"nowadays more guys are doing the shopping for the house instead of the gals...." that what the curtain owner told me too. They have not idea how much load is reno.

ya..its like 95% of the work during reno is done by me..after reno those touch up all by me
recently want to repaint and refurbish, work and budget planning all by me.
but now i give her choice 1, 2, 3 to choose only.

fyi my kitchen floor is dark grey color, almost black. lol.

Yeah, I get upset too. The wife does not take much initiative to the extent of couldn't be bother. When the thing is already up, she have the gut the say upfront it is ugly, the husband got poor taste and all... and vent her frustration to every person she knows. The wife always reluctant to shop around looking for stuff and ideas. When she obliged, there will always be comments like wasting time, why is it take ages to reach the shop and so on. I think there's only 2-3 threads left before I snap.. yesterday I almost snapped..

I wasted RM1300++ on fans that I don't like and to know that she didn't like it that much either afterwards. She didn't like the fan that really liked.. but she settled with the other one that she thinks looked a little bit better but actually still ugly to her. I told her I can live with something that I don't like as long as she really like it, but now we both have to live with something that neither both of us liked. It was stupid. I got so pissed off that she started to give stupid justifications, like we can use for the childrens room etc.. (she's takut already..)..

Sorry.. I just need to let it out...

This post has been edited by rikiraikonnen: May 16 2011, 12:44 PM

I believe that the married couples that argued have totally different taste.

I do agree that some women (although i am a woman myself - not bad mouthing others) want to be SPOON-FED and then get upset when what she wants are not presented to her. You see, some of them expects the hubby to KNOW what they think but in reality, human beings can't read minds.

Who pays should hold the power to choose! But that's only me!