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Medical Conditions depression, advice needed...

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SUSthieflord
post May 4 2011, 07:40 PM, updated 15y ago

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my dad has depression for the past month.. now he stays at home, not wanting to go to work. he says he "no mood" wan go work, and thus chooses to stay at home, doing nothing.. it's been like this for over a month now.. im worried about him and our family's financial status.. his business also hangs in the balance cuz he's nt working for over a month already.. any advice?
need some advice to motivate him and return himself to normal...

thx..
rocket_jet
post May 4 2011, 08:39 PM

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QUOTE(thieflord @ May 4 2011, 07:40 PM)
my dad has depression for the past month.. now he stays at home, not wanting to go to work. he says he "no mood" wan go work, and thus chooses to stay at home, doing nothing.. it's been like this for over a month now.. im worried about him and our family's financial status.. his business also hangs in the balance cuz he's nt working for over a month already.. any advice?
need some advice to motivate him and return himself to normal...

thx..
*
How old is your dad? I will ask advice for my senior friends to try to help you out icon_rolleyes.gif
SUSthieflord
post May 4 2011, 09:26 PM

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QUOTE(rocket_jet @ May 4 2011, 08:39 PM)
How old is your dad? I will ask advice for my senior friends to try to help you out icon_rolleyes.gif
*
50 laugh.gif
rocket_jet
post May 4 2011, 09:45 PM

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QUOTE(thieflord @ May 4 2011, 09:26 PM)
50  laugh.gif
*
Mid life syndrome and it is a serious one. Because at this age, according to my father, many people generally feels tired of life. You need to seriously talk to your dad. Tell him that to do the best in his life is more important and never compare himself to someone else. Encourage him to the best you can. Also, tell him, it is to young for him to retire. Just too young. At 50, he has become a dragon and should be active smile.gif
stephie_hype
post May 4 2011, 10:15 PM

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Get him outdoors to break free from the depression. Ask his opinions on matters regarding on the country;s economy and most important of all, support him as a family.
nasonex
post May 5 2011, 12:45 AM

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last time i bumped to this kind of question like in forum, newspaper and heard people talk about it.

normally for that age, people suggest to go for travel. no need an expensive travel journey. just travel anywhere. and if my memory serves me well, i read somewhere about a millionaire when he was starting a business at the very early stage, he went to bankrupt. then all his belongings frm the house had been taken away then he and his fmly were just remain terrify. then he sent his fmly to his parents in-law house, while he searching for his "moment". he cycled quite some distance, like KL to Klang perhaps? while thinking. long story short, during the cycling journey, he met so many great things and he changed after that. 5-6 years later he became a millionaire. from a bankruptist, fell down in life's major changes, then he became millionaire.

other way, might be to find a new interesting hobby which cud make the brain relax and think in the same time.
Angela Lee
post May 5 2011, 01:02 AM

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QUOTE(thieflord @ May 4 2011, 06:40 PM)
my dad has depression for the past month.. now he stays at home, not wanting to go to work. he says he "no mood" wan go work, and thus chooses to stay at home, doing nothing.. it's been like this for over a month now.. im worried about him and our family's financial status.. his business also hangs in the balance cuz he's nt working for over a month already.. any advice?
need some advice to motivate him and return himself to normal...

thx..
*
Hello friend, depression is very common in more developed countries.
My friend is a psychologist in Australia. Here are her comments:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Does he have any community groups to attend to (e.g., church)?
Social interactions help to reduce depression as it provides some emotional support.
Spiritually, you should try to talk more with him more, comfort him and take up more social/personal responsibilities for his work.
Tell me more symptoms (e.g., ongoing television watching, sleeping a lot, loss of interests in routine activities, etc), then proceed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Spiritually, I suggest praying for him. I know it really helps! Angela smile.gif
SUSthieflord
post May 5 2011, 01:45 AM

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QUOTE(stephie_hype @ May 4 2011, 10:15 PM)
Get him outdoors to break free from the depression. Ask his opinions on matters regarding on the country;s economy and most important of all, support him as a family.
*
yeah.. i suggested him to do that, i told him to go for a walk or a jog with me every weekends and he says sure, why not. i just hope this cures him completely sooner or later..

QUOTE(nasonex @ May 5 2011, 12:45 AM)
last time i bumped to this kind of question like in forum, newspaper and heard people talk about it.

normally for that age, people suggest to go for travel. no need an expensive travel journey. just travel anywhere. and if my memory serves me well, i read somewhere about a millionaire when he was starting a business at the very early stage, he went to bankrupt. then all his belongings frm the house had been taken away then he and his fmly were just remain terrify. then he sent his fmly to his parents in-law house, while he searching for his "moment". he cycled quite some distance, like KL to Klang perhaps? while thinking. long story short, during the cycling journey, he met so many great things and he changed after that. 5-6 years later he became a millionaire. from a bankruptist, fell down in life's major changes, then he became millionaire.

other way, might be to find a new interesting hobby which cud make the brain relax and think in the same time.
*
hmm, he travelled quite a lot already, but tht was before he fell depressed. now he has no interests to do anything at all.

QUOTE(Angela Lee @ May 5 2011, 01:02 AM)
Hello friend, depression is very common in more developed countries.
My friend is a psychologist in Australia. Here are her comments:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Does he have any community groups to attend to (e.g., church)?
Social interactions help to reduce depression as it provides some emotional support.
Spiritually, you should try to talk more with him more, comfort him and take up more social/personal responsibilities for his work.
Tell me more symptoms (e.g., ongoing television watching, sleeping a lot, loss of interests in routine activities, etc), then proceed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Spiritually, I suggest praying for him. I know it really helps!  Angela  smile.gif
*
yes, he attends a buddhist association.. but no longer.. now he stays at home, sleep and eat only.. no tvs no nothing. just pure boredom..
other symptoms include, lost interest in activities and work, sleeping a lot , and eats little..
Angela Lee
post May 5 2011, 01:50 AM

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QUOTE(thieflord @ May 5 2011, 12:45 AM)
yeah.. i suggested him to do that, i told him to go for a walk or a jog with me every weekends and he says sure, why not. i just hope this cures him completely sooner or later..
hmm, he travelled quite a lot already, but tht was before he fell depressed. now he has no interests to do anything at all.
yes, he attends a buddhist association.. but no longer.. now he stays at home, sleep and eat only.. no tvs no nothing. just pure boredom..
other symptoms include, lost interest in activities and work, sleeping a lot , and eats little..
*
Here is an important question to ask your daddy:

"What is bothering you in your mind? You know that I really care about you so I want you to tell me your problem"

Please do that and listen first to his feelings.

Tell me how it goes.

Oh boy. Cheer up smile.gif

This post has been edited by Angela Lee: May 5 2011, 01:52 AM
PangurBan
post May 5 2011, 07:06 AM

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Get him to talk to a counsellor - a counsellor rather than a psychiatrist who will likely prescribe expensive, unnecessary, and potentially harmful drugs. It could be a mid-life crisis he's going through, it could be some deep-seated emotional problems, it could be something psycho-somatic; you don't really know. What's important is that he is given an outlet to talk about whatever is bothering him. A neutral party is often the best outlet, not family members. What you can do is offer emotional support, and yes, do things with him, open doors for him to come out of his shell.
budakjahat
post May 5 2011, 08:19 AM

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Here's the number one lesson I learned about (and from) depression:
Don't press too hard. Talk on his terms and only go as deep as he goes. Or he may just turn away from you.

And also, sometimes, it's not about a problem or an issue that needs a solution, it's about a problem or issues that needs to be heard.

I know you are both worried about your father's (mental) health and your family's financial situation, but you have to be patient. People do recover from depression (in some cases, with the help of properly prescribed drugs due to chemical imbalance), but it takes time. Perhaps, in the financial sense, you may have to look for ways to take care of that for the time being, does your mother work? Can somebody else help out with your father's business? etc.

Whatever it is, I wish you good luck!


faceless
post May 5 2011, 09:13 AM

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TS,
Just leave your dad alone.
1) Not likely he will listen to you.
2) You are pressuring him and that can make things worse.
3) He will snap out of it in due time.
nasrulbond
post May 5 2011, 09:46 AM

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well, if your dad still depressed for quiet a long time, maybe its time for you to seek a doctor. sometimes medications like pills also can cure depressions.
Angela Lee
post May 5 2011, 12:57 PM

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QUOTE(faceless @ May 5 2011, 08:13 AM)
TS,
Just leave your dad alone.
1) Not likely he will listen to you.
2) You are pressuring him and that can make things worse.
3) He will snap out of it in due time.
*
Your first and second points are inaccurate and misleading.
Family members provide very high quality emotional support for the depressed sufferer.
And they certainly want to feel to support and care coming from the family.
Communication is vital is this context.
"Just leave your dad alone" is not only irresponsible and may lead to undetected problems.





jady
post May 5 2011, 02:09 PM

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Any relative with young toddler? Ask them to play with him, will brighten up.
yeezai
post May 5 2011, 07:55 PM

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ask your dad go jungle trekking and camping...1 week inside jungle will calm his mind and he will felt better after that
Angela Lee
post May 5 2011, 09:33 PM

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Also one important thing to check: "How long has this been going on for?"

Because the longer the depression, there is a higher susceptibility to morbidity or even psychosocial disability.

The longer you dad is unable to get back to regular life, the harder it is to recover (e.g., losing the skills or motivation to perform daily functions).

Make sure you check and monitor it okay? smile.gif
rocket_jet
post May 5 2011, 09:41 PM

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Your dad could also suffer binary disintergration. The faster he gets help the better icon_rolleyes.gif
Angela Lee
post May 5 2011, 09:48 PM

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QUOTE(rocket_jet @ May 5 2011, 08:41 PM)
Your dad could also suffer binary disintergration. The faster he gets help the better icon_rolleyes.gif
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Better explain the term binary disintegration.
rocket_jet
post May 5 2011, 10:03 PM

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QUOTE(Angela Lee @ May 5 2011, 09:48 PM)
Better explain the term binary disintegration.
*
It is the dying of brain cell and the natural causes could make one entity not interested in life as a person ages icon_rolleyes.gif

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