Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Bump Topic Add Reply RSS Feed New Topic New Poll
19 Pages < 1 2 3 4 > » Bottom

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

> Starcraft 2 Jokes, funny Visual Art and Songs., lets put em' all in this thread

views
     
Mavik
post Aug 23 2010, 05:32 PM

Patience is a virtue
Group Icon
Group: Elite
Posts: 6,140

Joined: Jan 2003
From: Petaling Jaya



user posted image
Quazacolt
post Aug 23 2010, 05:40 PM

Riding couple
*******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 3,069

Joined: Jan 2007
From: KL Malaysia


from my twitter(some repost/kopi pasta):

http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=146157 zerg queen moe~*

http://bit.ly/b99rNv scroll down for more moe zerg. lol. fukken SAVED (nerfnow.com archives)

http://nerfnow.com/comic/171 the life of raynor and his newfound love
Vorador
post Aug 23 2010, 05:57 PM

Blessed !!!
*******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 3,494

Joined: Jan 2003
From: Nosgoth


lol'ed at the queen! kawaaiii!
noob4life
post Aug 23 2010, 06:07 PM

Getting Started
**
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 162

Joined: Aug 2007
From: Pearl of The Orient


Awesome moe queen comic LOL !! I loled so hard at this topic.. .this is ACE ! keep em coming ! XD
TSfujkenasai
post Aug 23 2010, 06:39 PM

Regular
******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 1,072

Joined: Mar 2006
QUOTE(Quazacolt @ Aug 23 2010, 05:40 PM)
from my twitter(some repost/kopi pasta):

http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=146157 zerg queen moe~*

http://bit.ly/b99rNv scroll down for more moe zerg. lol. fukken SAVED (nerfnow.com archives)

http://nerfnow.com/comic/171 the life of raynor and his newfound love
*
user posted image
user posted image
TSfujkenasai
post Aug 23 2010, 06:49 PM

Regular
******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 1,072

Joined: Mar 2006
QUOTE(Mavik @ Aug 23 2010, 05:32 PM)
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

*
This reminds me of this
QUOTE(fujkenasai @ Apr 27 2010, 09:22 PM)


user posted image
ZOMG zergs have their own facebook too its called swarmbook.
*
and some more old joke posts

QUOTE(fujkenasai @ Apr 29 2010, 11:49 AM)

Korean get slapped in Starcraft

user posted image
*
QUOTE(fujkenasai @ Mar 8 2010, 02:30 PM)
This post has been edited by fujkenasai: Aug 23 2010, 06:53 PM
Grif
post Aug 24 2010, 04:25 AM

Casual
***
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 378

Joined: Feb 2008
From: Kuching, Sarawak


http://nerfnow.com/comic/image/287

And that's how Koreans win.
ataris
post Aug 24 2010, 10:43 AM

Eyes of a Gamer
******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 1,635

Joined: Jan 2003
From: BASF Asia Pacific


wahahahha, thanks for sharing guys...
TSfujkenasai
post Aug 24 2010, 03:25 PM

Regular
******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 1,072

Joined: Mar 2006
QUOTE(Vorador @ Aug 23 2010, 10:51 AM)
Starcraft 2 loli... ...

Collosis:

[attachmentid=1742349]

Carrier:

[attachmentid=1742354]

Mothership:

[attachmentid=1742361]
*
Thankyou for sharing the links http://popgo.net/bbs/printthread.php?threadid=507155

and I found these
user posted imageuser posted imageuser posted imageuser posted imageuser posted image

Much more from here http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3f4ac17c0100iuk2.html but its all in ching chiong chon chong chenese.

This post has been edited by fujkenasai: Aug 24 2010, 03:29 PM
Quazacolt
post Aug 24 2010, 03:42 PM

Riding couple
*******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 3,069

Joined: Jan 2007
From: KL Malaysia


» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


haha noticed that, but the "impact" wasnt there until you linked the queen with that LOL


Added on August 24, 2010, 3:47 pm
QUOTE(Grif @ Aug 24 2010, 04:25 AM)
http://nerfnow.com/comic/image/287

And that's how Koreans win.
*
from my twitter:
http://nerfnow.com/comic/285 sc2 pro vs casual

http://nerfnow.com/comic/286 sc2 cheesing

http://nerfnow.com/comic/287 and of course theres the koreans

This post has been edited by Quazacolt: Aug 24 2010, 03:47 PM
bobohead1988
post Aug 24 2010, 05:01 PM

Enthusiast
*****
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 844

Joined: Jun 2007
From: Sungai-Takda-Ara


I am surprise nobody posted this

Skip to 3.20 if ur lazy

This post has been edited by bobohead1988: Aug 24 2010, 05:09 PM
Quazacolt
post Aug 24 2010, 05:07 PM

Riding couple
*******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 3,069

Joined: Jan 2007
From: KL Malaysia


QUOTE(bobohead1988 @ Aug 24 2010, 05:01 PM)
I am surprise nobody posted this

*
i thought got nothing... but the end, lold
PrivateJohn
post Aug 25 2010, 08:17 AM

ODST m cry.
Group Icon
Xbox
Group: VIP
Posts: 7,071

Joined: Jan 2003
From: London :: Mutiara Damansara :: Xbox Live Network



^LOL. The ending is epic!
Quazacolt
post Aug 25 2010, 12:52 PM

Riding couple
*******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 3,069

Joined: Jan 2007
From: KL Malaysia




MOAR!

and from its comments:

QUOTE
Aw... There goes 50 minerals.

*Adjutant whispers something*

Huh? What? Ah, yes... That poor, poor man. Such a terrible loss. Let's build 5 more and send them to attack the Zerg main base.

*Adjutant whispers something*

What!? Are you trying to imply that they can't´╗┐ take it down? Look at the man! 5 badass ex convicts can kill anything they see.

*adjutant whispers something*

Comsat station? Science vessels? Why?

*adjutant whispers something*

Lurkers? Don't make me laugh.

*adjutant commits suicide*


and

QUOTE
if this is the music for building´╗┐ a marine just imagine what the music is like for a battlecruiser

ataris
post Aug 25 2010, 04:22 PM

Eyes of a Gamer
******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 1,635

Joined: Jan 2003
From: BASF Asia Pacific


QUOTE(Mavik @ Aug 23 2010, 05:32 PM)
user posted image
*
May I know where did you get this joke ?
TSfujkenasai
post Aug 25 2010, 10:43 PM

Regular
******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 1,072

Joined: Mar 2006

fylon
post Aug 28 2010, 12:28 PM

~ The Revival ~
*******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 4,390

Joined: Mar 2007
From: Soviet Sarawak


DIARY OF AN OVERLORD

Day 1: Born today at a hatchery. Immediately got orders from the Queen of Blades to head out to the other side of the continent. She told me it could be a while, and recommended that I bring along an iPhone and a ton of batteries.



Day 2: Going as fast as I can. Almost out of view from the hatchery. Watching a movie on the iPhone.



Day 3: Still trucking. Can no longer see the hatchery. Yay. Burning time by trading texts with my overlord buddies.



Day 5: Ran out of batteries already. Nooooooo.



Day 7: Ran into a birth queen spreading creep below me. She was pretty darn cute. Asked her out. Got shot down. Damn. At least she was nice about it.



Day 9: Some zerglings ran by me today. I said hi. They said later fatty, and sped off. Little scrawny pukes.



Day 11: 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around....



Day 15: Passed over a zealot today. Stared at each other for a while. Pooped some creep onto him for the hell of it. He didn't appreciate it.



Day 15.5: Passed over a few zergling corpses. I think that zealot earlier got those little hotshot pukes. Almost made me regret pooping on him.



Day 18: Ran into that same birth queen from before. She was out of energy, and just chilling at the creep edge, waiting. I joked that we should race sometime on non-creep, and she actually laughed. I think she's warming up to me. Her name is Betty, btw.



Day 21: Should have brought sunscreen. Owch.



Day 27: Had a Romeo and Juliet moment today. Ran into a terran aircraft that had just finished shooting some zergling pukes, but amazingly enough, the terran pilot, she didn't shoot me! We stared at each other for a while, and there was definitely chemistry, I could feel it! Ah, forbidden love.



Day 29: Ran into a few hydralisks who hail from the same hatchery as mine. They told me that terran pilot was most likely flying a banshee, which can't shoot airborne targets. I told them to shut their trap, and that they weren't there to feel the sparks fly. They just hating that I'm better looking than them, and almost as fast.



Day 32: Just got a telepathic text from the Queen of Blades. The Overmind administrators are gonna push out a DNA code update to all overlords tonight. My very first evolution! So excited!



Day 33: Ok. My butthole suddenly got a lot bigger overnight. What. the. hell.



Day 33.5: Temporary detour. Queen of Blades told me to pick up four roaches nearby. I asked her what she meant by "pick up", but she didn't reply back.



Day 34: Ok, I figured out what she meant by "pick up". Four roaches inside me now. You don't want to know how they got in.



Day 36: Dropped off the roaches at the edge of some enemy base. Thank heaven I don't have legs, otherwise I wouldn't be able to walk normally for a week.



Day 37: Oh hell no. Queen of Blades wants me to "pick up" a couple Ultralisks??



Day 37.5: Order canceled. During a skirmish, apparently the Ultralisks got stuck in the middle of a bunch of idiot zergling pukes and got blowed up by terran tanks. Part of me feels bad for the ultralisks. Another part of me can't help but feel relieved. You know which part I'm talking about.



Day 40: Another DNA code patch coming. Not looking forward to it, if the previous evolution was any indication. I just hope they leave my face alone, I like being pretty.



Day 41: Woo hoo! I'm actually fast now, baby! Feeling sleek and sexy, like a Corvette!



Day 42: While jetting around, flew over a couple old zergling acquaintances today. Man, they've evolved badly, they're now fat with giant glowing beer bellies, lmao. Who's slow now, ya little @!**s! One of them was crying pretty hard, saying he would never be able to start a family now. I dunno what he was talking about, maybe he's suffering from PTSD.



Day 43: Covering a lot of ground now. Went looking for Betty, found her. She was impressed by my quickness, and said I could easily take her in a "foot" race now. We laughed at her joke, and about other things too. She is definitely showing interest in me. Awesome.



Day 44: Uh oh, heard an entire lair got taken out by invisible air ships this morning. Emergency DNA code patch coming within the hour. Please, not the face!!



Day 44.5: Whoa, I look pretty gnarly now. A slick purple and black, with a lot more eyes all over the place. Hope Betty likes the new look. I think I look even better now, more exotic and stuff.



Day 45: Betty is totally hot for me now. She wants me to pick her up next week to go to the movies. I said yes, of course. But now I'm having second thoughts, I'm not sure if she knows how my "pick up" mechanism works. Maybe we can just walk together to the movies. Well, I can't walk, but, you know what I mean.



Day 45.5: Got officially promoted, my new title is "overseer". Nice to see my hard work paying off. Betty texted me a grats message, too. What a cool chick.



Day 46: The terrans dropped a freaking nuke onto us today. Queen of Blades sending me to this random corner of our territory. Not sure why. Whatever, looking forward to next week with Betty.



Day 48: Seeing something weird in the distance. It's a terran woman, but she's translucent, somehow. I don't get it. Going in for a closer look, she looks kinda hot from here.



Day 48.5: %!@% %!@% %!@%, I asked the Terran woman for her phone number, and she shot me down. Literally! I'm falling to the ground as I speak, iPhone record function, don't fail me now! Betty, I'm so sorry, this terran woman meant nothing to me, I hope you can forgive me -





DIARY OF A GHOST NAMED NOVA:



Day 48.5: Slow day today. Shot down one of those big ugly Zerg balloons while it gurgled at me. For a moment, I felt like the Zerg thing was checking out my butt, too. Weird.


SOS
Quazacolt
post Aug 28 2010, 07:08 PM

Riding couple
*******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 3,069

Joined: Jan 2007
From: KL Malaysia


» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


win lol
spursfan
post Sep 2 2010, 09:42 AM

Getting Started
**
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 91

Joined: Jan 2009
nice diaries
TSfujkenasai
post Sep 4 2010, 11:55 AM

Regular
******
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 1,072

Joined: Mar 2006
QUOTE
For when http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessag...?topic_id=94732 just isn't enough ...

This guide assumes you're an average TL.netter -- i.e., you have a penis and want to stick it in a vagina. Moreover, it assumes you are the typical "nice guy" that just can't get himself a girlfriend or get laid. You're smart, you're not hideous, but you just don't know what to do around girls. Never fear -- this quick three-part guide will show you The Way.[1]

Footnotes (like that one) are red, and point to the end of the article.

Step 1. Getting to sex


Look -- every single one of your predecessors managed to get laid. Every single one of them. And YOU'RE going to be the one that f***s it all up. Do you know that guy in Proleague, whose teammates have squeezed out hard-earned wins, who comes onstage and promptly chokes on a cock and throws away everything his teammates worked for? That's you. Yes, you are an SKT T1 Zerg.[2]

Do you know why? It's because you think about it too much. Haven't you noticed that when you're really trashed, at a party, and your whole frontal lobe is on vacation somewhere on Aiur, you're sometimes just somehow able to grab that cute girl by the waist and twirl her on the dance floor? And then when you're sober again, you're way too awkward to follow up?

To put it plainly, you are hard-wired to reproduce. So the very first step is to realize that somewhere within you, you actually know what to do. And it's not hard. You're just trying to pile on too much of your own thinking, and quite frankly, how has that worked out for you so far? You've been stereotyped into the Smart One, or the Nerdy One, and that's taken over your psyche. You don't think of yourself as a sexual being, you don't sexually self-actualize. You don't convey masculinity or sexual aggression. Quit thinking you're smarter than the 3 billion base pairs in your genome and 4 billion years of evolution, and let it guide you.

Now, I won't bore you with the obvious stuff. Of course you should be stylish, of course you should work out, and of course you should be smart and funny and athletic. Nor am I going to tell you to do all that PUA stuff, where you act like a total ******* and she rips your pants off right there because you're so f***ing attractive once you kicked her dog or something. Nor should you carry around those lame magic tricks to impress boneheaded girls with. There are real girls out there that aren't in bars, that aren't total airheads, and who you don't need to call yourself a PUA to get with.

But there's more than a grain of truth in the whole PUA concept -- which is that there is nothing remotely as attractive as confidence in a man. Men have a huge advantage over women in this respect -- while a woman's attractiveness is pretty much genetically determined, a man's attractiveness almost entirely depends on how he carries himself and how he acts. There are extreme cases, sure, but as long as you are somewhere between Brad Pitt and Brian Peppers you have total control over your own attractiveness.[3]

user posted image

Are you more attractive than this guy? Then you can be a stud.


What does this mean? Well, you want the hottest girl, right? Ditto for girls -- sexually, they want the guy that has the highest value. You think a fawning, sycophantic "nice guy" represents all they can get? If it's obvious that you want her so badly, well, she probably can do better, but she'll keep you around as the friend. The guy that acts like he doesn't need her -- now that's a high-value prospect.

Of course, you have to give up the game at some point and reveal that you're interested in her. But you can't go overboard. It's a tricky line to navigate, but it's very doable. Make her work for you, instead of the other way around. Don't call her back immediately. Don't always have time for her. Don't give her stuff to make her like you. Don't defer to her for little choices. Don't be super emotional. Don't be clingy.[4]


You think he got all those women by being a clingy little *****?


Of course, you really do want her, but it's critical that it doesn't come off that way. It's not about being a jerk; you can still do nice things, but you have to come off as doing them because you can, not because you want her approval. Make her want you, not just like you. Believe it or not, girls are as horny as guys -- society just frowns upon them expressing it.

How do you actually do it? Just force yourself. Pretend like you are who you want to be. Because the fact of the matter is, sooner or later, you really will become the person you are pretending to be. It just takes a few months, and then you've successfully rewired your psyche into Charming Suave Confidence instead of Stammering Pile of Awkward.

So sooner or later, you'll find a girl -- half the world is girls, after all -- and with your newfound charm and confidence, she'll get horny for you. Hooray! Onto...

Step 2. Sex


WAITWAITWAIT -- trying to get right to the sex is like booting up BW without ChaosLauncher. First you have...

Step 1.9 Foreplay


Sex for women is a lot more than actual sex. This makes sense evolutionarily -- a male partner that's all nurturing and nice and loving is a lot less likely to peace out once he orgasms.

user posted image
What sex is not, to women.


What does this mean to you? You cannot just 1a2a3a your way into the vajayjay.[5] You must first perform

FOREPLAY [6]

Now, trying to give an actual guide to foreplay is like trying to write instructions on how to breathe. Basic tip: neck, ears, elbow (inside, not outside!), lower back, inner thighs are all erogenous zones and very sensitive. Don't focus on her tits and her crotch, drive her crazy wet first. And do go down on her -- it means more blowjobs for you, and who doesn't love blowjobs? Tip: treat her clit as a super sensitive super small penis (don't worry, no one will know you're pretending to be gay) and you will know what to do.

Now you can move onto...

Step 2. Sex


WAITWAITWAIT ONE MORE STEP

Step 1.95 WRAP IT UP FOO'


Barebacking it with someone you're not in a relationship with is as dumb as 14 CC'ing blind TvZ. Sure, maybe you'll be lucky, and sure, she's PROBABLY 12 hatching, but sooner or later it will catch up to you and you will get facestomped, and if you had just even the least bit of protection, instead of being greedy, none of this would have happened.

user posted image
Only YOU can prevent the spread of STD's. Good thing Flash doesn't have sex the way he TvT's.[7]


This is especially true if she tells you not to bother with it or that she's on the pill or whatever -- think about it: girl who doesn't want protection means she's not scared of getting it from some strange dude ... means she's probably got it already. (Alternatively, she's crazy and wants you to be her baby daddy.) Yes, condoms suck. But so does AIDS. And losing a damn MSL semifinal because you're a stubborn son of a b****.

Step 2. Sex (finally!)


Actual sex is really not hard. (Though you should be.) If you haven't noticed, these sections are a lot shorter than Step 1. And there's a reason -- remember all that talk above about how all your ancestors managed to reproduce? If your instinct doesn't kick in here ... newsflash: you're probably gay.

If you've got a problem with coming too quickly, good things to try: doing mental arithmetic, reciting build orders [8], thinking about FakeSteve [9]. Jerking off before sex can help, but it can also kill your libido, leaving your penis to epic fail during showtime.

The opposite problem (not coming quickly enough) is also fairly common. It may be a problem with condoms -- try different brands to see what is most enjoyable. (Trojans kinda suck.) It may also be that you're way too familiar with your own hand to enjoy a vagina. Congratulations -- you have successfully f***ed up billions of years of evolution. Stop masturbating for a while and you'll be back to normal. Or maybe she's just really terrible or ugly or whatever, in which case you'll have to start fantasizing -- but be warned, if you yell out "LEE YOON YEOL" during sex, you're gonna have a lot of explaining to do afterwards.

Step 3. After sex


Grab the condom, then pull out,[10] tie it up, throw it away. If it's a one-night stand, don't assume you can stay over -- just get your stuff and leave without awkwardness. Otherwise, cuddle. If she brings you a glass of water after sex, she's a keeper.


For dealing with Trapped-Arm Syndrome


Eventually, turn to her and say, "GG YO, RE?"

THE END



Footnotes


[1] Also known as Bisu Build.
[2] You are also half the Mets' batting lineup.
[3] This is why guys should work out and pay attention to style and such. Not just to look good, but so that they feel that they look good.
[4] If you need an obvious example: don't just give your number to a girl, and tell her to call you. Simply hand her your phone, already set to the Add Contact page, and let her know you'll call her sometime.
[5] This is a good basis for a rap.
[6] To clarify, do not perform this, but rather this.
[7] Risky? Boring? With teenage boys? On live TV? For money? You decide!
[8] Not out loud! Nothing turns women off more than hearing "8 pylon 10 forge". (Real men 2gate.)
[9] Unless you're FakeSteve.
Last edit: 2009-06-13 11:18:27
[10] It's actually very important that you do it in that order.


http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessag...?topic_id=95315

This post has been edited by fujkenasai: Sep 4 2010, 11:56 AM

19 Pages < 1 2 3 4 > » Top
Bump Topic Add ReplyOptions New Topic
 

Switch to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0999sec    2.76    6 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 16th July 2019 - 10:29 AM