Feb 22 2010, 05:02 PM
QUOTE(NaiveLady @ Feb 18 2010, 07:20 PM)
I am getting married soon after 8 years of dating. However, parents from both family can't agree on certain things.
My parents & relatives informed the "ping kam" should be abt RM6K and requested for a piggy. They informed that that is the rate in KL. My parents told me because we're not rich, thus the money (instead of forking out our own money) served as financial aid to help them purchase essential items required for the wedding celebrations such as gold. It also will show what is my value & whether my future husband family is stingy or not. Actually, what are the things that bride's family have to buy for wedding?
However, my future in-law said my parents request is too high and they prefer to pay RM888/RM1888/RM2888 (Just a sign of good luck (hou yi tou). Reasons given is they are not buying a daughter-in-law & they want everything to be simple. They thought we want “face” and reputation is the reason behind it. They prefer give money to us (after wedding i guess) rather than wasting it to buy those wedding things. They are not rich but not poor either. My future husband is on his family side and persuading me to accept his parents proposal.
I am torn in between and we quarrel about this. Should I:
- Persuade parents to accept lesser "ping kam"?
- Persuade future husband to give RM6K ?
BTW, what are the average rate of "ping kam" given nowadays? I know some of my friends were lucky because their wife's parents didn't request for ping kam.
If talking about "face", I feel that the person giving will have "more face" if can give more, and nothing to do with the "face" of the one receiving since they also said that its not about "selling daughter". If "selling daughter", then the one receiving will have "more face" coz can "sell" the daughter at good price.My parents & relatives informed the "ping kam" should be abt RM6K and requested for a piggy. They informed that that is the rate in KL. My parents told me because we're not rich, thus the money (instead of forking out our own money) served as financial aid to help them purchase essential items required for the wedding celebrations such as gold. It also will show what is my value & whether my future husband family is stingy or not. Actually, what are the things that bride's family have to buy for wedding?
However, my future in-law said my parents request is too high and they prefer to pay RM888/RM1888/RM2888 (Just a sign of good luck (hou yi tou). Reasons given is they are not buying a daughter-in-law & they want everything to be simple. They thought we want “face” and reputation is the reason behind it. They prefer give money to us (after wedding i guess) rather than wasting it to buy those wedding things. They are not rich but not poor either. My future husband is on his family side and persuading me to accept his parents proposal.
I am torn in between and we quarrel about this. Should I:
- Persuade parents to accept lesser "ping kam"?
- Persuade future husband to give RM6K ?
BTW, what are the average rate of "ping kam" given nowadays? I know some of my friends were lucky because their wife's parents didn't request for ping kam.
I think marriage is supposed to be a happy thing. If your parents feel that the money can help for the wedding preparation, but cannot convince you future in-laws to "help out", then maybe the both of you can source the money from somewhere else.
Otherwise, if your future in-laws can afford it, then you may try to convince them that its not that big amount and it would mean alot to the both of you if "small" issues like this can be solved peacefully.
Because honestly, there may be more headaches ahead for example, how many tables are they giving each other for the wedding dinners.
or else, try to get both sides to settle for a number that they can both agree on. Both also must compromise abit loh
This post has been edited by teelim: Feb 22 2010, 05:05 PM
Quote
0.0186sec
0.54
6 queries
GZIP Disabled