I understand your situation (although I'm a guy). I am lucky that this didn't happen to me when I was getting married (instead, my mother-in-law only took small part of the given ping kam as hou yi tou)

Maybe I'm biased, and I'm on your hubby family side.. or rather I don't really like Chinese tradition and the social norm - they REALLY like to compare (everything, from the location, amount of ping kam, wedding photographer yada yada). I think that couples should just spend what they can afford rather than overspending just to prove that the husband is not stingy.

Parents sometimes have to understand that they demand a lot of money from their future son-in-law, but end up both daughter and son-in-law suffering

Anyway... I suggest the following:

- Try talking to your parents (yes, unluckily it IS your responsibility since they are your parents), explaining that both of you have already spent a lot and why at this moment it isn't feasible to give 6k. Do not say provoking statements like "It's not selling daughter" though

- Try to propose something that you and your hubby can afford. Maybe something like 2888 or 3888

- To be frank, 6k isn't that much. But as you're both short of cash, maybe ask your parents if your hubby can pay that 6k some time later instead of now. Otherwise, go for Personal Loan

I hope it helps, and I wish you all the best

This post has been edited by samurai1337: Feb 18 2010, 08:02 PM

It's not recommended but nevertheless an option

As much as it sounds pathetic, one of my friends actually did that... The reason being? His spending was too high at that time because new house renovation and wedding come together, his saving and salary couldn't really support that, his gf did not have much income and he had to bear all the cost, yet his gf really wanted to get married ASAP. Anyway, he knew he could clear the loan in next few months once everything is settled down and he managed to.

On a side note, it's just how amazing why people managed to get married and have 5 kids so easily in the 70s-80s but it becomes such a luxury now - cost of living becomes much higher, girls become more demanding, cost of raising a kid grows sharply, but yet economy is not growing fast enough to cater for that. Girls sometimes have to be more understanding on the guy situation - they are afraid of commitment for some reasons.

I think it depends on everyone's financial situation lo, so we can't really compare like this

It's reasonable to ask a lot from someone who can really afford it, but probably not from someone's who's struggling with money for wedding. So... I think setting a correct expectation is important