Mar 29 2010, 09:58 AM
QUOTE(NaiveLady @ Feb 18 2010, 07:20 PM)
I am getting married soon after 8 years of dating. However, parents from both family can't agree on certain things.
My parents & relatives informed the "ping kam" should be abt RM6K and requested for a piggy. They informed that that is the rate in KL. My parents told me because we're not rich, thus the money (instead of forking out our own money) served as financial aid to help them purchase essential items required for the wedding celebrations such as gold. It also will show what is my value & whether my future husband family is stingy or not. Actually, what are the things that bride's family have to buy for wedding?
However, my future in-law said my parents request is too high and they prefer to pay RM888/RM1888/RM2888 (Just a sign of good luck (hou yi tou). Reasons given is they are not buying a daughter-in-law & they want everything to be simple. They thought we want “face” and reputation is the reason behind it. They prefer give money to us (after wedding i guess) rather than wasting it to buy those wedding things. They are not rich but not poor either. My future husband is on his family side and persuading me to accept his parents proposal.
I am torn in between and we quarrel about this. Should I:
- Persuade parents to accept lesser "ping kam"?
- Persuade future husband to give RM6K ?
BTW, what are the average rate of "ping kam" given nowadays? I know some of my friends were lucky because their wife's parents didn't request for ping kam.
My mom in law was quite flexible because, if she accepts too much, it would look as if she is selling off her daughter. So, for my case, we settle at a very relaxed figure and both parents also very chin-chai.My parents & relatives informed the "ping kam" should be abt RM6K and requested for a piggy. They informed that that is the rate in KL. My parents told me because we're not rich, thus the money (instead of forking out our own money) served as financial aid to help them purchase essential items required for the wedding celebrations such as gold. It also will show what is my value & whether my future husband family is stingy or not. Actually, what are the things that bride's family have to buy for wedding?
However, my future in-law said my parents request is too high and they prefer to pay RM888/RM1888/RM2888 (Just a sign of good luck (hou yi tou). Reasons given is they are not buying a daughter-in-law & they want everything to be simple. They thought we want “face” and reputation is the reason behind it. They prefer give money to us (after wedding i guess) rather than wasting it to buy those wedding things. They are not rich but not poor either. My future husband is on his family side and persuading me to accept his parents proposal.
I am torn in between and we quarrel about this. Should I:
- Persuade parents to accept lesser "ping kam"?
- Persuade future husband to give RM6K ?
BTW, what are the average rate of "ping kam" given nowadays? I know some of my friends were lucky because their wife's parents didn't request for ping kam.
Most importantly, it is not the quantity, but more of quality. No point of having RM 18,888.00 if the marriage can last only few years. (many couples separated especially those from high income family). People nowadays are losing values and tend to be more materialistic. There is nothing to be ashame of if the figure is small.
Just my 2 cents.
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