I am getting married soon after 8 years of dating. However, parents from both family can't agree on certain things.

My parents & relatives informed the "ping kam" should be abt RM6K and requested for a piggy. They informed that that is the rate in KL. My parents told me because we're not rich, thus the money (instead of forking out our own money) served as financial aid to help them purchase essential items required for the wedding celebrations such as gold. It also will show what is my value & whether my future husband family is stingy or not. Actually, what are the things that bride's family have to buy for wedding?


However, my future in-law said my parents request is too high and they prefer to pay RM888/RM1888/RM2888 (Just a sign of good luck (hou yi tou). Reasons given is they are not buying a daughter-in-law & they want everything to be simple. They thought we want “face” and reputation is the reason behind it. They prefer give money to us (after wedding i guess) rather than wasting it to buy those wedding things. They are not rich but not poor either. My future husband is on his family side and persuading me to accept his parents proposal.

I am torn in between and we quarrel about this. Should I:
- Persuade parents to accept lesser "ping kam"?
- Persuade future husband to give RM6K ?

BTW, what are the average rate of "ping kam" given nowadays? I know some of my friends were lucky because their wife's parents didn't request for ping kam.

This post has been edited by NaiveLady: Feb 18 2010, 07:49 PM

Glad to have a comment from guy side. Your advice is very useful. Thank you for reminding me not to provoke "selling daughter" to my parents.

I don't think will go for personal loan lor.

Any comments/ advice from the girls?

This post has been edited by NaiveLady: Feb 18 2010, 09:54 PM

Thanks for all the advice/comment.
My future husband don't have much saving now due to the economic downturn 2 years ago.

This post has been edited by NaiveLady: Feb 20 2010, 07:40 PM

My GDL is just a month away.
My mum reminded me that even very very thin gold necklace cost abt RM2K.
RM6K is not much for Ping Kam.

This post has been edited by NaiveLady: Aug 21 2010, 09:11 AM