all i can see is TS trying to rationalize his situation with excuses but did nothing to change his life. c'mon dude, your ex (based on your description) is a wonderful lady and its hard to believe you actually let her even trying hard enough to keep her. it's quite a one-sided r/ship commitment from her, cos all u did was trying to keep the r/ship by providing money, cards, facial treatment etc...

rmb, emotional support is what she was seeking. i will feel pity for your future gf if your perception on love remained as of now.

all i can say is all the best in patching up, but do remember to consider the consequences before taking the first step. changes in you need to be done willingly, you don't change just to suit her cos it might ended up in a bigger mess.

you stated that you never question your dad and followed everything he said. i know you're being filial, but there's a difference between obedient with critical thinking and obedient by following blindly. your lack of critical analyze on r/ship issues had landed you in today's state. so pls, if you ever thought of mending back, learn to communicate and learn to love. all these while your posting is only about you, how bout her?

and there are times where loving someone means letting them go and let them live their own life~