Doesn't sound like reasoning is going to work. You need to jolt your relationship and reset it. Tell him how what he's doing is destroying your marriage. He's a bum, plain and simple. If he isn't going to change, then leave him. Go back to your parents for some time. If you and your marriage mean enough to him, he'll change and if not, you never meant that much to him anyway. He has to know what it feels like to lose You. Strong u must be to do this.