I know people like him and I also know women who go for people like him. I reckon he hit the nail on the head when he said he was a businessman because of the way he seems to organise his life in stages. He's starting a business and would therefore like to settle down before he has no time to court another. He is trying to use logic to force marriage upon you. What???

Well I disagree with this methodology simply because I've seen couples seperate after marrying out of convenience or because it was simply the next step to take. "Eh, we've been together so long, want to get married ah?". You don't find marriage, it finds you. How many times have you heard this question; "When do you want to get married?". Can you really time it? Marriage isn't supposed to be a process, unless you are a really traditional person.

You are correct, couples can stay together because it makes sense. The question then becomes whether or not she can accept a marriage based mainly on understanding rather than feeling? I don't think the two should be mutually exclusive because as important an ingredient as love is, you still need to work on your marriage and this requires understanding, patience, compromise and a host of other spices. It seems to me that this guy is very much a person who is looking for a traditional wife i.e. someone that stays home, takes care of the house, cooks for him, etc. Can she accept this? It's subjective, you are right.

I find this technique rather disturbing as well. It's like he is desperate to make a good impression on them in hope that they will also pressure her to marry him. It's rather stupid to think that this is an effective tactic and yet many guys make the same mistake. When they argue with their gfs for example, they speak to the best friend/friends hoping for them to pressure her into accepting his apology.

The problem with love is that it can cause inactivity. You think that because of love, you simply don't have to put any effort into your relationship anymore. The though of doing something different and keeping it fresh doesn't spring to mind until it's too late. Don't take "love" for granted is all I can say.

Geeze you're relationship sounds like a surgical procedure. He must have some reallly attractive attributes (or just 1?) to have you hooked the way you are. It's as though he wants to get you "out of the way" before focusing on his business. I don't see why he can't do both and it becomes a matter of this or that. I have little doubt in my mind that you suffer the consequences should you decide to succumb to his demands.

That being said, what's with the perception that anyone who drinks and smokes is bad? Who says people who do so cannot be conservative. Those are habits, not personality traits. You can't cetegories people who drink and smoke under any specific demographic group. The very thought that you believe this stereotype leads me to believe that you are a traditionalist when it comes to marriage which is why you are considering doing his bidding. There is no right or wrong in this, only what you can tolerate. Some girls I know can live with the knowledge that their husbands go to nightclubs and as long as they don't see anything first hand, they live in ignorant bliss. Another woman I know has a husband who has a girlfriend and started another family. He splits his time between both women.

In short, whatever floats your boat.

This is the most sensible thing you've said so far. It's obvious that the reason he's talked to your mom/friends is to get them to pressure you into accepting his marriage proposal. He comes across as a cunning and manipulative, though he hasn't made the smartest decisions.

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Trust me, you can do a lot better.