my bf doesnt take much initiative to meet me again, although we are in touch online frmo time to time, thats is only he sends me an offline msg when we are not on together at the same time.... he is too busy at work, and msn is the only place we can talk...

LDR here.  the last 2 times we met, i initiated the idea and he supported it, with full supports! he booked hotels, picked me up from airport, everything... im totally melt. but now im waiting for t he thrid time, which he has no say yet... i dont doubt at his sincerity to go on with me, it is just that when i dont want to do it anymore, and i wish to be pampered and being take care of... and he knows very well for waht i want and yet not giving it, so, is it like he is letting it go?

i did a lot for him and he knows it all well. i think i want to stop taking too much initiative steps from now on cos i might sound too cheap for him. although, i know he values my existance a lot, especially during a sorrow time of his life.

but, we are just, stucked.

Thanks for reading, here is more about my story:

we used to talk daily non-stop no matter how busy he was in his job, but since 2009 he is transferred to another dept which has no net access in am, and in pm, i can only stay for 2-3hrs IF im free, which im usually not. So, we dont actually talk much since then.  the way we are is, since im online at msot of the time, he will send me a msg if he sees me, and he does that even when im offline and i get it the next day and knew that he WAS there.... so, this is us. just hi-bye.

since jan 2009, even when we are 'together' we jsut dont talk as much as before anymore, particularly bcos we get to know more of each other Already, and we are entering a more stable relationship now, which u can say it is the final stage of the relationship too, cos we could just break up since we are already there to help each other, be there for each other.... many more... it is either we continue this way, or break up.

sometimes i wrote him a long email since we cant meet and talk... but with his busy schedule, he told me he is too tired to read lines n lines of messages, so he printed it out and read it when he is having meeting or at home... no matter how, i odnt mind, i know how busy he is... i dont care... i dont wait for his answer or anything, just sharing of my thoughts, just to further solid to us....

to me, i have done A LOT or too much from my side. it is clearly to him and me that it is time for him to do sth. but i know he is lacking of the 'ability' to do so, cos he is busy....

id ont care of he is having another gf or what... i will be happy for him if he does think someone else is better than i do...

at times i try to tell him that i have my choices too.... he told me he wont mind as well, he said i have my right to choose what is best for me... so we are on an opened stage...

the situation is like, i either wait, or i give up while someone else approach to me...

i just wish there is a paradox that we can live happily ever after.... which i know there isnt
Lighthouse - i didnt let him know how much i miss him or what i want from him... he understands me very well and he knows everything i want... it is amazing... he is the most compatible guy with me so far, i enjoy his love and attention and his ABILITY of knowing me and giving exactly what i want....so, to your Q, i didnt tell him what i want, but i know he knows it... the only thing that he doesnt do it, it is either he has someone else/he doesnt want to do it to me or he is really too busy.

yes i can say he has this pattern all this while. i know he is a shy guy, but once i took initiative, he responded greatly. so i know if i really want to meet him and i name a plan, i know he will take leave and go for it with me... it is jsut that, id ont think i want to do it anymore.... cos i ahve done TWICE.  and for this time, i even hinted that im free in Aug, and i can come over.... so when time approaching.... he would have said sth if he wants, right???

---

Added on May 29, 2009, 2:44 pm

krovaxq, it has been... 6 mths? we met twice. we chatted everyday in first month, from 9-5 non stop, we couldnt tell each other we love each other, until we met, we had sex and we found out that we love each other mroe than we imagined we would.... it is even greater in reality, we know each other very well and we provide what is needed by the other one... it looks like a perfect relationship to us.... excpe that he is very busy in his job, and we dont know how is the future going to be....
How sincere is he to you? How much faith do you have on him? I have no doubts on what you will say, but just a precautions of LDR.

he looks like he is very sincere to me. i mean, if i wanna think evilly, yes he wants it just for sex or anything... i can have a thousand reason for not trusting him... but i do trust him, and i want to trust him. no matter what his intention is, i enjoy loving him, despite that he loves me or not...

and i doubt that if he doesnt love me cos im like the best candidate for him... he doesnt social much... meeting me is like a jackpot for him... unlike him, im highly social... and yet he is so rare in my gang... i havent been pampered in such a way like he does to me... no matter how much i say no... he know i didnt mean it...  and give all i want...

IMHO, guys will feel loved when the girl makes the initiative move..just like how girls would feel when the guys do it.


so? what should i do? tell him 'i want to meet you in aug?' can i get a bonus this time? can he does that to me? i have hinted that im free in aug, ... one thing is that i dont write to him as much as before or taking initiative to sms/tell him that i miss him anymore, with the last discussion (that we can free to have someone else) he might think that i have someone else so he doesnt want to pull me back ... i dont know how to tell him AGAIN that he is my best choice and i wanna be with him....


You have done so much for him, what has he done for you then? Have you ever question this to yourself?

i do. from time to time, i do questions it myself, yes he has done much, but it is alright, or im overly easy to be satisfied, i dont know. i mean, im alright with all that he has given me, i enjoy it, at least, i enjoy his very special talent of getting know me, i dont get it from other guys.... and he claims that his ex gf ditch him cos he is like a senselss wood to her... they arent as much in love we are... to me, he is too great for one could have... i odnt know wat that girl want... to give up such a piece of rare jewel....

the rest of your reply has been answered above i think...
and, thanks for your time and courtesy to help

---

Added on May 29, 2009, 2:48 pm

i didnt notice the importance of these two Qs... i thou i could avoid it... since it is brought up, i guess my answer is, NIL or WAIT.

we just cant afford to talk about our future now, there is NO future for us RIGHT NOW so, its better that we just enjoy what we have now, right? Future, let future to worry about it, shall we?