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 How to get the girl you want!, Yes, the secret is here

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SUSWahlberg
post Mar 21 2023, 10:13 AM

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QUOTE(djtong @ Nov 4 2016, 03:04 AM)
Be an attractive person.

A guy who is desperately seeking women is not attractive.
A guy who cares about his family, friends, surroundings and those around him  is.
A guy with good habits, job, language, skills and grooming is.
A guy who is capable of taking care of himself, is independent, reliable and becomes the pillar of support to those around him is.

Fulfill these things and they will notice you even if you don't say a word to them. You may not get the exact girl you want, but how many of us get the girl we want only to realize we don't really want them?

For everything else in life we're so calculative of the reward we get from the effort we put in; what reward do you expect to get from a lady given all the effort? Is it really worth it or are you better off concentrating on something else?
*
is us man fate will be like this to the end?
ZZR-Pilot
post Apr 14 2023, 02:05 AM

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The unspoken rule is.... women tend to date up. Meaning, men whose perceived status is higher than theirs. Or at least equal.

Often this comes down to money or financial potential, confidence and substance.

You have to size up the girl that you're aiming for and figure out where you are in relation to her, unless you're lucky enough find her willing to date down (and even then you must watch out for signs later on that indicate that she has started to feel she had compromised her worth settling for a guy with a lower perceived status like you).

Beware of women who develop an inflated sense of self-value (i.e. narcissists & gold diggers) in order to get the high status men they want, unless you have the time, energy and resources to deal with her lopsided sense of demands vs rewards.
Kanan Jarrus
post Jul 2 2023, 06:38 PM

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QUOTE(ZZR-Pilot @ Apr 14 2023, 02:05 AM)
The unspoken rule is.... women tend to date up. Meaning, men whose perceived status is higher than theirs. Or at least equal.

Often this comes down to money or financial potential, confidence and substance.

You have to size up the girl that you're aiming for and figure out where you are in relation to her, unless you're lucky enough find her willing to date down (and even then you must watch out for signs later on that indicate that she has started to feel she had compromised her worth settling for a guy with a lower perceived status like you).

Beware of women who develop an inflated sense of self-value (i.e. narcissists & gold diggers) in order to get the high status men they want, unless you have the time, energy and resources to deal with her lopsided sense of demands vs rewards.
*
It'll be exhausting later on, even if you've reached a certain promotion, there's no telling if your partner will jump to the next best/better guy if he's more successful. It's a game of never ending race...
ZZR-Pilot
post Jul 3 2023, 03:30 PM

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QUOTE(Kanan Jarrus @ Jul 2 2023, 07:38 PM)
It'll be exhausting later on, even if you've reached a certain promotion, there's no telling if your partner will jump to the next best/better guy if he's more successful. It's a game of never ending race...
*
The point is to have enough potential financially to be able to enjoy a relationship and have a future with her. Don't be a broke ass dude.

True she might still jump to the next guy with a better job - if she decides to monkey-branch or be a gold digger, there's nothing in the world that you can do about it. You'll gain nothing focusing too much on things that are outside your control, it's always better to focus on what's within your control so that you can have contingency plans. In this case, if you're financially OK then you can always attract another and learn to size her up better. Any loss you experience can therefore be mitigated.

Bear in mind that's just one aspect of you. There are the other stuff about yourself that you can invest in building up. If you have a good package overall, then it's always easier to find someone.

You have to keep building yourself up. Don't ever stop. Investing in yourself never goes to waste coz it'll keep paying dividends one way or another.
max_cavalera
post Aug 14 2023, 07:05 PM

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Unker will just share a simple tips how to get a girlfriend easier.

Especially if you are always rejected or friendzone.

The rules are really simple really.

Its all about sexual attraction.

A guy attract to a certain girl sexually. Because she have sex appeal. If there is no sexual attraction then the dude will just frenzone the girl.

A girl attract to a certain guy sexually. Because he have sex appeal. If theres no sexual attraction the girl will just frenzone the dude.

Since uni unker can already see. Those above average chicks, who do they flock to? They flock to those jocks. The rugby players. They come beside the field in groups and peacocking themselves to the boys.

It s about those physical dominance. The male bodygame. The bodies. I dont see the most brilliant, nerdiest fren in my engineering and IT dept get flocks by hot chicks.

Also women are quite funny with faces. I have few uni frens whose quite handsome. End up still didnt get any gf in all his uni years. Coz hes skinny like me during uni. Average height. Didnt gym, didnt play sports.

Contrast to some of those bigger/tough rugby players. Damn they look damn average/below average but still end up with among the prettiest girls in uni. Some even change a few gfs every few months. Women rate men physicality way higher than face.

I also try and get rejected by so many girls during uni. End up same foreveralone until working. Can try all those pickup artist skills and tactics all didnt work stillg et treated like shit.

My luck only get better when my weight naturally up from skinny/underweight to normal BMI. Yea managed to get some gf and ex gfs. Still got frenzone and reject too by some that still say im a bit too slim/skinny for them. They want someone bigger/more physically dominant.

They arent even lying. They tell me upfront what they want physically.

The minute u start to know thise girl ur interested and got to know each other. Her key question will be what sports did you do? Once you answer no i didnt do any sports/i dont do gym/workout you already fail hard in her subconscious mind.

Seriously. Just add gym workout routine in your daily life. No need to be so hardcore bodybuilder. Just workout minimum twice a week consistently will do. Also make sure ur BMI is normal to high normal.

You still need to open your mouth and socialize though. They arent coming automatically offering themselves to you. Just that you will dramatically reduce your chance from being frenzone or rejected.



This post has been edited by max_cavalera: Aug 14 2023, 07:58 PM
-mystery-
post Sep 6 2023, 04:22 PM

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there are no exact rules to get the girl you wanted
however, if you want the better looking girl means you probably have to consistently make more than rm120k per year, that doesnt include the emotional compatibility for a long term partner.

As cliche saying, find a less attractive woman with great personality as your partner. And women should also be less greedy and settle for average joes. If you are influenced by social medias 'the outside moon is always rounder' mentality, you'll always feeling inadequate as a human being.
knighty
post Sep 9 2023, 09:03 PM

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Semi uncle here, wanted to share some things that I've learned in the past.

First things first, there will always be exceptions. There will be people that can marry a rich partner, or find the hottest partner without much effort. Unfortunately that's not you, else you wouldn't be here looking for advise.

Now that we have that out of the way..

You need to improve your worth. There's a saying I read somewhere that really rings true - "don't ask how you can make girls fall for you, but ask how you can become a man that girls fall for". You can read all the strategies/pickup artist books all you want but it's not gonna be as effective as working on yourself. As you work on yourself and improve, so will your confidence and chances.

Things you should be working on:

1. Your fitness. You need to be in decent shape. No need to be Arnold, but being obese or super skinny is not attractive. This one damn easy. Go gym 2-3 times a week, pick a beginner workout and follow that. Diet wise just eat 10-20% more if you're skinny, 10-20% less if you're fat. As you become fitter you'll be more attractive. Uncle used to be 100kg++ obese af, eventually got down to 80kg and somewhat fit, the difference between attention I got was night and day.

2. Your appearance. You need to at least have basic grooming. Get a decent haircut, wash your hair - no girl likes oily hair, clean shaven unless u have a specific style in mind - the hamsap lou misai is not a good look. Wear clothes that fit decently, not too tight or too baggy. Best way to work on this? Ask your sis or female friend for their opinion.

3. Your social skills and communication. Some people have this naturally, if you don't then you need more practice. If you don't have a sister and don't have any female friends, then it's time to start making some. Mix more with females, talk more with them. Learn how to read signals, make conversation, make them laugh.

4. Your career/financials - You need to work on your career progression and have a long term plan in place. Get advise on here or reddit for your career or what you should do. Same with financials. You want to be earning more, know your budget and plan your investments so you can eventually afford a house and retirement. Even if you're not rich, as long as you are ambitious or have goals with a plan in place, that's good enough. The last thing a girl wants is a guy stuck in the same job for 20 years with no plans on own place while coming home to game 6h every night.

5. Your expectations - Specially for those guys with no gf before for a very long time. Uncle got friends who have been single for too many years and watch too much porn, kdrama and go ktv. Then when they meet girls they have no interest unless they are super hot because they already have super high standards. Don't be like them.

Questions I usually get:

"Why need to improve on appearance so much?" - Coz you want to look attractive for your partner just as you want an attractive partner. Take a pic of yourself, add long hair on the same body - would that be attractive enough for you to date if a girl looked like that?

"Why need to improve on social skills/communication?" - Because getting a girl is probably the easiest step, maintaining it is way harder. Marriage is even harder. Throughout your relationship there will be fights, arguments and other things. All of which can be resolved through good communication and trust between each other.

"Why need to improve on career/financials so much?" - If you spend 20+ years raising your daughter to be a great person how would you feel if the guy she's dating is passive as fuck and has no plans in life? Would you feel safe for her?

Some other tips:

"Aiyah why need to work so hard or self improve just for that hot chick?" Have you ever thought about how much effort girls put in to be/look great? They spend 10x more time and money for their skincare routine, grooming like hair removal, trim eyebrows, straighten/style their hair, keep up with fashion and shop for clothes that make them look great, work hard at their job, control their food/exercise to maintain their figure etc....then show up for a date and the guy is obese, oily hair, baggy clothes, bad breath, soaked with sweat, can't maintain an interesting conversation and can't stop staring at her body.

It's a numbers game. You want to find someone that has chemistry, the same goals/lifestyle as yourself and is attractive enough for you....it's not easy. So you need to start meeting and befriending girls, as many as you can. Tinder, clubs for your hobbies, through other friends, ex uni/classmates, outings etc. The more you meet the better, because you might find someone you like from there, or they might intro their friends to you.

Also, don't take rejections harshly. It's normal. No matter how much you like a girl, if she doesn't like you, you won't be together. On the flip side, no matter how much a girl likes you, if you don't like her, you also won't be together. Happens all the time. Uncle got rejected many times, but also rejected others before too.

Lastly, you can follow all the advise you want and it's possible you still won't be able to get that girl you want. It's normal. There is no guarantee. But you need to keep improving and keep trying so that when the next person that is perfect for you shows up in your life, you're ready.
max_cavalera
post Sep 12 2023, 04:54 PM

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From: Cyberjaya, Shah Alam, Ipoh



QUOTE(knighty @ Sep 9 2023, 10:03 PM)
Semi uncle here, wanted to share some things that I've learned in the past.

First things first, there will always be exceptions. There will be people that can marry a rich partner, or find the hottest partner without much effort. Unfortunately that's not you, else you wouldn't be here looking for advise.

Now that we have that out of the way..

You need to improve your worth. There's a saying I read somewhere that really rings true - "don't ask how you can make girls fall for you, but ask how you can become a man that girls fall for". You can read all the strategies/pickup artist books all you want but it's not gonna be as effective as working on yourself. As you work on yourself and improve, so will your confidence and chances.

Things you should be working on:

1. Your fitness. You need to be in decent shape. No need to be Arnold, but being obese or super skinny is not attractive. This one damn easy. Go gym 2-3 times a week, pick a beginner workout and follow that. Diet wise just eat 10-20% more if you're skinny, 10-20% less if you're fat. As you become fitter you'll be more attractive. Uncle used to be 100kg++ obese af, eventually got down to 80kg and somewhat fit, the difference between attention I got was night and day.

2. Your appearance. You need to at least have basic grooming. Get a decent haircut, wash your hair - no girl likes oily hair, clean shaven unless u have a specific style in mind - the hamsap lou misai is not a good look. Wear clothes that fit decently, not too tight or too baggy. Best way to work on this? Ask your sis or female friend for their opinion.

3. Your social skills and communication. Some people have this naturally, if you don't then you need more practice. If you don't have a sister and don't have any female friends, then it's time to start making some. Mix more with females, talk more with them. Learn how to read signals, make conversation, make them laugh.

4. Your career/financials - You need to work on your career progression and have a long term plan in place. Get advise on here or reddit for your career or what you should do. Same with financials. You want to be earning more, know your budget and plan your investments so you can eventually afford a house and retirement. Even if you're not rich, as long as you are ambitious or have goals with a plan in place, that's good enough. The last thing a girl wants is a guy stuck in the same job for 20 years with no plans on own place while coming home to game 6h every night.

5. Your expectations - Specially for those guys with no gf before for a very long time. Uncle got friends who have been single for too many years and watch too much porn, kdrama and go ktv. Then when they meet girls they have no interest unless they are super hot because they already have super high standards. Don't be like them.

Questions I usually get:

"Why need to improve on appearance so much?" - Coz you want to look attractive for your partner just as you want an attractive partner. Take a pic of yourself, add long hair on the same body - would that be attractive enough for you to date if a girl looked like that?

"Why need to improve on social skills/communication?" - Because getting a girl is probably the easiest step, maintaining it is way harder. Marriage is even harder. Throughout your relationship there will be fights, arguments and other things. All of which can be resolved through good communication and trust between each other.

"Why need to improve on career/financials so much?" - If you spend 20+ years raising your daughter to be a great person how would you feel if the guy she's dating is passive as fuck and has no plans in life? Would you feel safe for her?

Some other tips:

"Aiyah why need to work so hard or self improve just for that hot chick?" Have you ever thought about how much effort girls put in to be/look great? They spend 10x more time and money for their skincare routine, grooming like hair removal, trim eyebrows, straighten/style their hair, keep up with fashion and shop for clothes that make them look great, work hard at their job, control their food/exercise to maintain their figure etc....then show up for a date and the guy is obese, oily hair, baggy clothes, bad breath, soaked with sweat, can't maintain an interesting conversation and can't stop staring at her body.

It's a numbers game. You want to find someone that has chemistry, the same goals/lifestyle as yourself and is attractive enough for you....it's not easy. So you need to start meeting and befriending girls, as many as you can. Tinder, clubs for your hobbies, through other friends, ex uni/classmates, outings etc. The more you meet the better, because you might find someone you like from there, or they might intro their friends to you.

Also, don't take rejections harshly. It's normal. No matter how much you like a girl, if she doesn't like you, you won't be together. On the flip side, no matter how much a girl likes you, if you don't like her, you also won't be together. Happens all the time. Uncle got rejected many times, but also rejected others before too.

Lastly, you can follow all the advise you want and it's possible you still won't be able to get that girl you want. It's normal. There is no guarantee. But you need to keep improving and keep trying so that when the next person that is perfect for you shows up in your life, you're ready.
*
Nice contribution.

Another point I want to add:





Couldnt be further from the truth.

I will add my true life experience encounter as well to show real example how unker fail miserably lots of time and how i success and maintain my 10 years marriage until now.

Gotta find the time to write very long. Will update soon.

This post has been edited by max_cavalera: Sep 12 2023, 05:01 PM
GamersFamilia
post Sep 17 2023, 06:34 AM

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if you like her , tell her straight away or else she will straight away for another guy
-mystery-
post Jan 18 2024, 11:53 AM

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how to get the girl you wanted?
It depends on
what you want (short/long term)
what she wants (culture/age group/family background/her past dating histories)

If you want an early 20s hotter female (short term casual relationship) it's better to be more polarising with your appearance and behavioral management

The more you live up to your experiences, the more you realize there's no binary explanation when it comes to anything in life.

If you're being authentic and true to your desires, people will automatically be drawn to you there's no need to constantly chase people. You attract people and things in your life because you're the pillars of strengths (fearlessness, certainty, mystery, amused mastery, nonchalance)

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