Do not use her mom as an excuse to abort the baby. You haven't even tell her yet, why made you two so sure that she would freak out, have a stroke and die? Maybe in the other way round, she would be happy that she'll finally have a grandchild.

One of my friend has a very strict mom too. Although she's an adult, she still has to follow a curfew given by her mom which is to reach home before 9pm whenever she goes out. But as they say, the more you are stricted to do something, the more problems you'll create.

She was also accidentally pregnant and was scared to let her mom know too. Because she thought that her mom will kick her out or slap her or hit her if she knew that her daughter is pregnant with the bf that she only knew for around 4 months. :/

But in the end, both of them took the courage and tell her mom that she's going to be a grandma soon. And guess what is her mother's reaction?

Confused at first but the day after that, she treated her daughter extra good knowing that she's pregnant. 2-3 days after that, she was so excited that she's going to be a grandmother soon.

Don't be a coward.

Take this as a double happiness (Seong hei lam mun)

Furthermore, by doing abortion your gf is at risk of not conceiving at all in the future. Would you want to take this risk?

When that happen, what are you going to tell her mom then?

"Auntie, your daughter cannot conceive because last time she had done abortion before"

That's way worst!

Since you said that you and your family are ready for the marriage, then discourage her from the thoughts of abortion and encourage her to face her mom instead. Be there for her when she breaks the good news to her mom and face whatever that needs to be face together with her.

Good luck.

---

Added on March 23, 2009, 8:18 pmAnd to those who thinks that bringing up a baby is costly, is hard, is tough, this are all STUPID EXCUSES!

Have yourself a baby first before telling people how hard it is going to be a parents. WTF! Furthermore, TS and his gf are not young kiddos anymore, they are adults for God's sake!

My and husband only earn peanuts with salary less than RM5K when both our salaries are added together. But we are able to rent and stay on our own, give my mom monthly RM1K allowance and take good care of the baby. I even gave birth in a private hospital although we don't have any savings left after our wedding.

When there's a will there's a way.

WHY DON'T YOU THINK OF HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY AND HAVE YOUR FINANCIAL SECURED INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR TIME THINKING ABOUT HOW TO GET RID OF THE BABY?

This post has been edited by PinkGenie<3: Mar 23 2009, 08:41 PM

Financial problem, you can still find ways to settle it. For example, do extra job, spend money wisely, spend less save more etc

bad for the health of your gf, mentally distress, if somethings goes wrong, it will effect both u and ur gf life <-- all the money in the world cannot heal this

Why not be more positive towards life? Not everything in life turn out to be so negative.

Even if TS is out of job, I'm sure his parents will help him out no matter what.

i guarantee you, you and gf are gonna regret this big time.

one day she'll hate herself for agreeing to abort the baby. after tht she'll hate you for not talking sense into her.

if it's all about financial stability and it is not because you two are too immature to handle this responsibility, why don't you two inform her mom about this. I bet you two has no guts to do it. Because after all the talks and comments we gave you, I think it's all about her being afraid to let her mom know that she had screw up.

I pitied the baby, it's already 1 month old and the parents refused to let him grow older to be able to see the world. If you are so not ready to be a parents, please don't have sex until you two are ready. Don't kill another life.

And my response to silverhawk:
Even thosse handicappeds are able to secure a job in the current economy. I doubt both of them will have hard times finding another job. It's obviously an excuse. My boss hired me eventhough she knew that I was a few months pregnant because of my determination. Nothing is impossible in this world when to comes to finding job. Hardworking people with determination people will always find a way while those lazy ones will find a lot of excuses just to get the easy way out.

silverhawk, I dunno how old are you but from your comment, I think you are still very young.

And to TS, I hope you think about it properly since it had not been done yet. The embryo is already 1 month old, ask your heart if you can really let it go? In another 2-3 months you will be able to see it change into a human shape and after that you'll be able to see it moves in your wife's tummy.

You have 8 months for you two to work and save money for the baby. 8 months and it's still not enough?

This post has been edited by PinkGenie<3: Mar 24 2009, 03:02 AM

I just hugged my husband and cried knowing that you had made a decision to abort it. I feel very uneasy that a life is gonna soon. I hope you re-think about it. Please.

This post has been edited by PinkGenie<3: Mar 24 2009, 03:03 AM

As I said, both of you have another 8 months to save to welcome the baby. Just save RM600 (RM300 from you and RM300 from your gf) per month. By the time your gf/wife is about to give birth, you'll have RM4,800-00 in your bank account. It's enough to pay for the hospital bills already. If you are willing to work hard now, you can save more than that.

Yes, she'll only freak out for a few days, after that she'll be more than happy to know that she's gonna be a grandma soon. Maybe this grandchild of hers can actually help her to recover from her illness.

One day if you tell her that her daughter cannot conceive because she had done an abortion before and she wont have any chance to become a grandmother. This is what that will really freak her out and cause her a stroke.

Compilations of how people feel after they done the abortion.

This post has been edited by PinkGenie<3: Mar 24 2009, 04:13 AM

This is roughly how much you need to spend..

During pregnancy
Monthly checkup - About RM80-RM130 (Depends on what supplements are given but never more than RM130)

During delivery
C-section - Spent RM 5400-00+ (baby's fees included)
Normal Delivery - RM 2,500-2,800+ (baby's fees included)
*All of the above is charge by a private hospital. It will be alot alot cheaper if you go to the goverment's hospital. I heard it's is only RM20 for the monthly's checkup plus all the necessary supplements and RM100+ for delivery

After baby is born
Baby's clothes, baby bed, etc - RM700 maximum
*there's no necessary to buy expensive branded stuffs, you can get those cheaper one in hypermarket like Carrefour, Giant and Tesco
-4 tins of formula per month - RM45 x 4 = RM 180 per month
-2 packet of diapers per month - RM 44 x 2 = RM 90 permonth (that is for Mamypoko brand's diaper, if you buy cheaper ones like Drypers, Pampers, PetPet, Huggies, etc it's cheaper)
-Doctor's monthly consultation and vaccines fee - RM 35 - RM 200 per visit (Depends on the vaccines given)
*When relatives and friends find out that you are going to be a father soon, most will start giving you old baby's clothes, milk bottles, rash cream etc. I have a box full of baby's clothes given by my husband's relatives. I can give it to you if you want because my baby can no longer wear it by the time your baby is born

Confinement Period
If you mom or mother in law can help you with it then normally you just need to give them RM500-RM600 angpow
If you don't have anyone to help you and need a confinement lady then it's RM2K (for a month ONLY)
*Your wife only need to be in confinement for 1 month.
**There will be relatives and friends that will give you angpows, DOM wines, chicken essences ad hampers whenever they come to visit you

My mom is here to take care of my baby but if you need a babysitter/nanny - RM500-RM600 per month

If your wife is already working for a year, she'll be given 2 months PAID maternity leaves. Taking 2 months leaves is more than enough because 95% of new-moms are ready to work after 6 weeks of resting at home.
*I started working after 7 weeks at home

And as I said, you have another 8 months to work hard and to start saving money in your bank. If you can't afford the costly medication and hospital fees then just go to the government hospital.

If you and your wife's salary add up is RM 4,500-RM5,000, it will be more than enough to cover up your daily expenses, bills, and baby expenses already. You can even save some for your baby's future.

For your wedding, since you don't have any savings, go for a low budget one unless your parents are willing to help you out financially. Or else just held a dinner for close friends and relatives only. You can go for photoshoot and honeymoon much later when your baby is born and when both of you had settled down.

Please reconsider your decision.

This post has been edited by PinkGenie<3: Mar 24 2009, 06:42 AM

with the numbers above i really don't understnd why you can't afford to give the baby a chance. if me and husband are able to earn that much, we're probably on our baby number 2 already.

you seems to have a lot of excuses.

1st, you say that you are not financially secured as you have almost zero saving.

2nd, you said you are afraid that your gf's mother might have a stroke and die upon knowing the good news.

and now you say you two got a lot of commitments already.

JUST F*CKING ADMIT THAT YOU TWO STILL WANNA HAVE FUN AND DON'T WANT TO HAVE YOUR FREEDOM TIE DOWN BY HAVING A BABY! AND THAT YOU ARE NOT READY TO BECOME A PARENTS YET.

FOR YOU TWO, FREEDOM AND FUN > BABY'S LIFE!

Ahhh just blardy close this thread since you've made up your mind. in the future when there are problems arise due to this, don't forget that WE'VE TOLD YOU SO!

All they think about is
what if the baby is born with medical illness
what if it's a twins triplets octuplets..

but they never think about..
what if she might not be able to conceive.. so.. it's obvious that they just really care about this. Or maybe their mind had been poisoned by the doctor telling them that everything is gonna be OK after the abortion.

I'm really pissed now. If I knew TS and his gf personally I would really slap some sense into their face.

Dear TS,

I myself stay on our own with my husband. We rented a flat in Wangsa Maju, Setapak. A comfy home and it only cost ud RM450 per month.

So what do you have to say?

Besides that have you talk to your mother? Is she willing to help you with taking care of the baby so that the both of you can go to work? Is she can, then there's no problem living in a cheap flats rite.

And if you mom isn't able to help, then renting a flat is only temporary. Stay there for the time being and when you are financially stable again, with fatter bank savings, you can always move out to rent a better place. Tenancy agreement usually last for 1 year. After 1 year, you can move out already.

What the foetus embryo should look like now



This post has been edited by PinkGenie<3: Mar 24 2009, 10:03 AM

So in your opinion how long should a couple date before they get married? 5 years? 10 years?

I posted the amount of money TS would need to spend until the baby is out to see the world so don't use it to scare those who has no experience here. It is true that having a child is a long term commitment, but think about it, sooner or later you'll have one soon so why kill the one you have now?

for those who supported TS's decision to abort, your are most concern about his financial stability when a child is born into the world.

And no, I'm not saying that everyone should marry and have a baby young since you are going to have one anyway. What I'm trying to is, TS's already has ONE in his fiancee's tummy, why kill it?

Life's always has its ups and downs and challenges. You can't just run away into hidings or take the easy way out when you face the down times.