You guys who are trying to put moorish down is simply because you are afraid one day you will fall on a gal who aim to be a fulltime mother while your financial capable can't afford to meet her dream?

I'm really curious the reason why you guys can't accept a true mother who wants something better for her family.

At least she has made it comes true yet all you guys who putting her down aren't able to settle down yet.

teongpeng, you seem to be the only man who understand what "life" means.

No. I have never said that I don't agree others.

Just that I have seen so many of guys there so afraid to see women stay at home feed and take care of children and houseworks while clinging to their husband for monetary support. They are afraid of this because they can't provide and they are not willing to strive to gain this respect a man deserve.

Even if he is doing MLM, he is trying his best to provide and aim a better living. He work hard and he deserve a better living.

I never ask all men must marry a woman who aim to be a fulltime mother, I just hope all men here don't expect woman to work and responsible for house works at the same time. Biologically woman sacrifices family by delivering babies, why can't men work hard to provide a better living? I don't understand why nowadays seem to take working ladies for grandted. They assume a woman work before married, give birth, taking care of babies and then back to work again to support the family; where men just work before married, work after married and after all they don't understand how hard a woman is when she is married. Why is it so hard for a man to be the one and only monetary supporter? Why can moorish's husband can but you guys can't? Who is more pathetic here?

Really? You have never read my posts before flaming me and make assumption on my views. Don't you? Why you teased me? You dared to admit that?

If he falls short, I am more than willing to be with him. It's a commitment of a marriage. He's capable to reach the extend of financial capable, he can make a life with me even if he falls short. A man who can't even provide before or after marriage, don't tell me how much he loves me. This would be empty promise. He doesn't pursue better is not his fault, but he doesn't even think of the entire living expenses of a family and doesn't willing to strive harder, is purely a big failure of a man.

You can't give a facts and real life examples to convince me and tell me that I'm wrong because you don't have such experiences and you are a pampared kid under parents' shelter. Therefore you're living in your own "ideal mindset" and you thought it is alright and it is fair as to support gender equality.

God only knows what kind of person I am. Unlike you, you haven't even tried to read the posts what the person is actually talking about and stepping in this thread with so much of "high-moral" theory. YOu don't know my theory, your statements and comments to me are nulified.
(p.s: I can actually say that "It's simply because I'm a chinese who knows chinese and english and therefore I'm a translator but you are only a chinese who knows ONLY english and that's why you wonder why I can make it", but I will not say this to you cos I know different people from different family background and I will leave a respect to you.)

I'm more than glad to share you your idea but your statements make me puzzled and doubtful as you showed no facts and real life reasons. You can imagine a man marry 3 wives today and have plenty of children but each wife support her and her children's living expenses, you can tell me this also if you don't think facts and real life reasons are important to put in a debate and to make people see people is wrong?

Yes, I admit it was a lame attempt to shut you up because I don't like to and I don't use to tease people to make people feel hard and make them speechless. No matter how are you going to flame me, I will write in words and concrete facts, in a mature way.

You are trying to decipher because you haven't really stood on my shoes to understand my view.

This post has been edited by debbieyss: Oct 9 2009, 07:39 PM

Ever wondered why last time got no baby-sitter and nowaways so many baby-sitters?

You are showing contradict statements.
You say there are lots of women working after married and here you said women do not undrstand how hard it is to support the family.

I always remember someone ever told me this:
We used to see what we can't do but we never question ourselves why other people can but we can't.
So you are more pathetic here, obviously.

Of course. Why should I dare to admit what I truly looking for? I go for financial capable man doesn't mean I will betray him when he falls short. He is the man who manages to make the promise come true, build up his career before marriage and provide monetary support after marriage.
I believe if he falls short, he is also tough enough to stand up again and make a new life.

Again, I think I have discussed this statement with you before.
If you request biological body nature standard from a woman, so does woman can request the similar standard from guys.
The thing is we are debating financial capable man which is only achieved when you have strived your best aka self-motivated and aim high attitude.
Attitude is something you can cultivate, it's not born natural.
Body is something born natural, you can only grow that high if your genetic's standard allows you to do so.
But those men who do not even give a try and gives all sort of execuses not able to do so, are losers.

That's nothing related to the topic here. No comment on this.

It's ok if you can't spell my name correctly although my ID name already stated here clearly. The main concern in this debate is not about my name spelling.

I said teongpeng understand what life means, cos he has stood at women's point of views to see the thing. Whereas you guys just stood at guys' point of views and judge that women who aim to be fulltime housewife are gold digger/materialistic. This is a human instinct that woman stay at home and take care of children and do houseworks, cook nutritious food for husband and be husband's mentally supporter and man works hard and strive for better living outside for his family.

This is a natural human instinct but when we try to put this here, none of you that actually agree on this but says that woman is gold digger, dependent etc.

From what I understand from your view, you seem like want to tell that woman who looks for rich husband is for her own living pleasurement.
This is not what we are debating about here.

The thing is:
Many of them used to click to a fantacy high-moral that looks for a hot sexy wife is a sin (malice, irresponsible etc) and woman who looks for financial capable man as husband is a sin (gold digger/materialistic).

Therefore, everyone seems want to stick to their so-called "correct mindset" aka "they are told to have this sort of mindest" - man should go for good personality instead of just good looking; woman should go for good personality instead of financial capability.

They don't dare to admit what a man aim from a woman by a man's nature and so does woman's.

This post has been edited by debbieyss: Oct 9 2009, 07:32 PM

Why can't I expect to be taken care of? Which woman doesn't want to be taken care of? You tell me? Even a man who is tired from work would like to have a bowl of soup and food well served on table so I should say husband shouldn't be taken care of and I also can say: why always cling to wife to cook him soup and food, why can't he cook himself?

So are you going to say such a warm reward to a husband is not what a man's natural instinct goes for? You don't aim for it? You tell me honestly?

Lower income aka 5K per month? Now?
Do you know how much 5k's value is 10 years later?

I know you don't call those housewives are gold diggers but there are men flaming this pathetic mindset.

You have got it 50% correctly!

So are you telling gals who go for poor guys are for true love? Have you seen those gals divorce their husband after years?

Again, as mentioned "N" times, go for financial capable husband doesn't mean only aim his money. It's because money doesn't fall from sky and it's only when a man who is willing to work hard, he is capable to provide. Therefore woman who goes for financial capable guys = go for self-motivated guys.

Only gals who are immature haven't seen real life issues. They go blindly for love.
Only gals who are immature that mix up "go for financial capable guys = materialistic"; they never know mature means look for some guys who are promising in provide a family a stable living and it's because these guys are self-motivated and committed and responsible.

Don't tell me a man who loves you so much accompanies you everyday is going to give you a living. I doubt he is and I strongly believe this guy will continue to blame the culture, society, government how unfair his situation is and he will continue to change job again and again, he will never think why he keeps on failing and he knows only how to blame others. When the gal gets pregnant and delivered baby, he still continue to stay at comfort zone and he never think of he is not doing his best to be a good father, he never tried his best to provide his child the best he has.

It's because more and more men aren't able to climb high. That's why woman has to back to work force and that's how baby-sitters go.

It's my honour to be the odd one.

To be rich, one has to change his personality and attitude, nothing to do with biological body nature.

I tell you what, you are the only one who can make me laugh.

How much do you actually know me? Are you assuming that I'm not doing the same while I set this standards on my bf/husband?

Ok. You only disagree with me. And from your words I don't see any intention from you that you are trying to convince me.
So may I know what's the conclusion you're trying to get from this debate with me?


My mother is a working lady and she is great, she is a great mother. I believe there are lots of great working mothers.
I see how my mother lives her life.
I don't want to be a working mother.

Duke, among all who disagree with me, you are one of them who is so gentle. Would you mind to re-read my posts please? I have already mentioned.
Would you trace back my posts please? Would you?

I know. I know all this economics issue well.
Woman who choose to continue their career after being a mother is their personal choice; woman who are asked to work by their husbands are another case.

Yes, I'm using "rich". "Rich" in terms that when uncertainties come, say some sickness, etc a husband is rich enough that he can provide medical fees without concern where to accumulate money from relatives. Of course I'm not saying borrowing money is not good but as adult and parent, husband should be able to bare the responsibility and not to trouble others. In any events a man can easily afford monetary support when uncertainties arise, I will term this as "rich".

And then again, have you ever thought why there are men that can take care of a family on his own with his wife staying at home taking care of children, property prices in the Klang Valley. Look at the escalating petrol prices?

p.s: Crude oil price rises is going to reach USD200 per barrel.

Duke, my value is already replied at post #2122

levels of high maintenance has nothing to do with my rich husband.
i told you right? i thought your english is better than mine?

---

Added on October 9, 2009, 10:24 pmNot the same.
Man asks their woman to work and woman want to share the burden of her husband are 2 different things.
Man works hard, this is a human natural instinct.
Woman stay at home and take care of children and do house works, this is also a human natural instinct.
If you ask me once a man works harder, what can his wife contribute, so I can say his wife has to take better care of the children and do better house works.

I give great salute to a man who genuinely asks his wife to stay at home and take care of children.
I'm not saying those men who expect their wives to be career women are not nice.
Both categories of men are nice as to the bottom line their motive is to be responsible to their family but the earlier one gain me more respect and salute cos they let the women keep to their duty as a mother and woman and they don't mean to add up woman's burden by working 9 to 5, which is man's human natural instinct.

This post has been edited by debbieyss: Oct 9 2009, 10:25 PM

Be it how many different questions you guys ask me, i can use the same answer to answer all. My theory is simple, it's you guys that shallow minded enough that can't accept many things in life needs money; it's you guys that shallow minded enough that work hard for more money = materialistic enjoyment; you guys are just too shallow to think that ALL who aim high are only with a purpose - materialistic.

Regardless of how much you love your gf, one day your financial is not stable, you are not ready to go for marriage.

sorry, my english is bad.
but i just want to say your statement seems the same like those shallow thought guys here: aiming for financial capable husband because i want to go for my personal luxury enjoyment, which i have already told you earlier on that for my personal high maintenance would all be on my own, nothing to do with my husband. I want my husband able to bare the expenses if uncertainties happen in future, which this can only be done if he is financial stable.

Regardless of how much you love your gf, one day your financial is not stable, you are not ready to go for marriage.

Mr. A is financial stable because he study and work very hard to earn more and more money. One day, his mother falls sick, urgently. So without hesitation, he sent his mother to the most reputable hospital despite how expensive the medical fee would be.

Mr. B is rich because he study and work very hard to earn more and more money. One day, his mother falls sick, urgently. So without hesitation, he sent his mother to the most reputable hospital despite how expensive the medical fee would be.

Now you tell me, if someone who is self-motivated to earn more and more money, aim high, and he spends his money for his mother for the best, is he wrong? You tell me?

I want my husband able to bare the expenses if uncertainties of family happen in future, which this can only be done if he is financial stable/rich.

Ok, i answer your question.

Mr. A is financially sufficient/decent income because he study and work very hard to earn more and more money. One day, his mother falls sick, urgently. So without hesitation, he sent his mother to the most reputable hospital despite how expensive the medical fee would be.

Mr. B is rich because he study and work very hard to earn more and more money. One day, his mother falls sick, urgently. So without hesitation, he sent his mother to the most reputable hospital despite how expensive the medical fee would be.

So you tell me, what is the difference between sufficient/decent income and rich?

Now you tell me, if someone who is self-motivated to earn more and more money, aim high, and he spends his money for his mother for the best, is he wrong? You tell me?

I want my husband able to bare the expenses if uncertainties of family happen in future, which this can only be done if he is financial stable/rich.

i go gym first. please feel free to flame me.

1. I don't see any shame if my thought same as Moorish cos a fulltime mother doesn't mean she is stupid and know nothing. Have you ever seen high EQ monther and high education mother? I see many of you like to put equalation to Fulltime Mother = Kampung Mother who likes gossip when she is free/low EQ/low IQ

A housewife can be presentable when she goes with husband attending ballrooms events, she can also go social with husband etc.

I expect woman to be mature and realistic - a man who is financial incapable yet means he is not ready to commit to get a wife and he is unable to feed the family.

Again, why let the social culture to change the human natural instinct? If like that let you become a gal and you go pregnant, suffer the pain then take care of babies cook rice do house works while i'm your husband, i expect you to work after maternity. Or maybe you choose to have your own career i don't demand to you work, ok then you go work but take care babies and housework you also do everyday you come back from work, How? what's your feeling?

Gender equality is not defined as woman can earn a career, same as man. Gender equality, for me is both have respect, compassionate and understanding for each other, love and care in a family. Unlike 1950s where only husband makes decision wife can only keep her mouth shut; husband must be fierce and wife must be gentle; husband must not show gentle face to children and wife is the one who defend children; for modern century male go gym females also can go gym; male go facial also can; male go cooking class also can etc..

You tell me where is gender equality when you go to bus there is a notice telling: prioritise the seats to old folks, women and children. How to equal like that? I'm not against gender equality, but this is not to be defined this way.

Yes, when i look for a guy, i assign a dollar value to him. If he is not financial stable yet, means he is not ready for marriage and i won't waste time on him and burden him.

Yes i know what you mean. Guys offer me to stay at home, and I expect to stay home, are two different things.
So what else you want to know?

Again, women work for few reasons only:
1. They want to be prepared when their husbands change heart, they and their children got rice to eat
2. They mainly want to work for pleasure
3. Their husbands demand them to work to share the burden of family's living expenses, which means their husbands are unable to provide enough.

I can tell you any gals out there will not want to work if they have chance cos they know no matter they work or not, taking care of children is still a duty to woman. This is a fact, is a human's nature being. When children naughty, people will think parents seldom take care and educate them, but when people know children naughty cos parents working no time to educate them, do you think the first person people think will be: why the mother never take care of the children and educate them? Her husband is busy working mar, how come this mother never understand and look after the children properly?

Would you see people judge father doesn't care the children? No right? Because everyone will think that taking care of children is mother's responsibiltiy and duty. So since you say modern day gender equality, do you think there's equality?

At the moment our loved one passed away, the first thing we think about is we are so sorry we haven't done our best to them.
And when you feel sorry you haven't done your best to your loved ones, you could hardly ask yourself to rise up again.

I have nothing to be upset about.

If I'm to get mad at you, that would be only for a single reason: you didn't read my posts before flaming.

I remeber you are the one who asked moorish to be humble, look at your words, when I was asking if you did read my posts before posting, you didn't answer. Why? Dare not admit? You instead tease me the way I used "facepalm". Do you think you are eligible to ask other to be humble?

You are not eligible to "help" me to see that I'm having wrong mindset when you yourself don't actually look at what you have done wrongly.

I don't think you know what is life all about.

This post has been edited by debbieyss: Oct 11 2009, 09:39 AM

No matter how little I know of what I want, definitely I know much more than you. The world is gonna laugh at how you debate with your personal emotion.

You lack of knowledge to debate is one thing, don't know what does interpersonal communications skill mean is another thing.

You thought you know what you want but actually not, because you have not seen the life.

Why would you always not asnwering question when people ask you?

And I believe besides you, there are quite a number of you haven't answered my questions, too.

So tell me what's that that we aren't good enough when problem arises?