Hmm well we'll see, I'll no doubt tell her but long distance relationship is something I'm pondering over, a lot of the LDRs being posted here in Cupid Corner doesn't seem so promising anyway this is something to discuss with her.

Morrie's also a professor in the university, I doubt they'll throw cups at their prof
The students are just stunned, cause y'know Americans, its all about winning and you're so into the cheers 'We're number one! We're number one!' and your team is leading and suddenly this old guy stands up and yells
'What's wrong with being number two?'
All heads turn to the source, silence ...
ahaha that must have been one hell of a scene

Eh, I wouldn't hammer Jyou on his outlook in life. He's got a good and positive outlook, and it isn't an easy one to live. There are times we being human falter and lose sight, but those are times to get up again.

Now? Hmm maybe soon, we're in the middle of exams now, now wouldn't be the right time, anyway she did ask me out after the exams during our hols, I think after a few more outings together when it feels right, I'll do it.

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Added on April 16, 2009, 4:45 pmHi there, thanks, many people think I'm odd and strange (I like to think I'm geared differently), they don't really get how I can think the way I do, thankfully I've met a great bunch of people, friends they really are a pillar of strength when you need them.


This post has been edited by Jyou: Apr 16 2009, 04:45 PM

Eh no lar, not hammer, just something doesn't sound quite right. Since now he kind enough to reveal more then we all know and talks can move along.

Protect your heart first yeah. Also try not to consider LDR.

Yeah the heart, sigh its the most fragile organ God gave us.
Yeap LDR ain't good, lots of eventual break-ups I see going on.
Maybe I'll give myself and her some time to grow a little (in the meantime still keep in touch, thanks to the great power of the internet!) and when time comes I'll take a flight over to US... or lure her over the border to Canada

Lets put God out of the picture for awhile. What I really mean is don't let a small flop drag you down. 1 month, 2 months, years? The downtime is not worthy of such a pursuit, that is unless you value LOVE higher than your own Life, Career, Studies, Social.

Don't make those plans before things even hit it off bro. Also, LDR failure rate is due to us just being human. A simple call, webcam over the internet will not suffice to maintain passion, not when you enter a new life where there is new people to know and lots of excitement/possibilities.

Currently my education comes first, love just happens and well I have to share with you another of my philosophies, I don't have to have her to love her. Which can be a problem, my friends think I love too freely.

Anyway, those plans of mine are of friendly nature, and not in a LDR context, which is why I said:
Maybe I'll give myself and her some time to grow a little (in the meantime still keep in touch, thanks to the great power of the internet!) and when time comes I'll take a flight over to US... or lure her over the border to Canada

As friends I'm sure the above scenario isn't unusual, am I right?
I'm confident of our friendship, it can go further into a romantic relationship but if things do not go as planned, at least the friendship should endure.
Most people when they fall in love with their friends and enter a relationship, they always forget that they were friends first, that's why when break-up happens you end up with nothing ...

It is a problem. Infact it can destroy all your other philosophies. I could say alot about it but if you stay strong to that believe, please proceed with caution.

Anyways, you seem confident on your plans with her, so should be no problem there.

Lol yeah it is a problem. Its a knee-jerk reaction to my fear of attachments (I've bad experiences with separations, hence I decided to take a break from serious bonding), thus, for the time being I'm sticking with that philosophy, ultimately though I'd like to have a single long-term monogamous relationship.
(Will not happen until I'm much more older)
Precisely why I'm freely waltzing my way into this confession.

You have obviously never seen children die, or been in serious pain and danger during your childhood.



That is their choice to make. Nothing stops them from continuing their journey. Nothing stops them from appreciating the good things they have now.



I'll clarify. My definition of primacy is different. It's merely about coming into your own. Like in Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Self-actualisation.

There is a drive within humanity for it's individuals to strive to be the best at being something. The number 2 team in basketball may be number 1 knitting sweaters, but on game day the number 1 team gets their day.



THIS is what I mean by primacy. After you ventured into those things you may find something that truly resonates with you. You may find that you want to devote significant time into furthering that art, that science, or that thing. You want to give it your best and BE the best all the while being constantly challenged.

There are many different forms of primacy. There is primacy of the self, primacy of the physical, primacy of the social, etc. People have different motivations for having these goals. When there is a strong drive to be number one, there is usually a corresponding excellent reason for it.

Like I said, consider that being number one in sports is the only avenue for many black inner city or suburb kids to make it to a university.

I read further details you furnished later.

You're young. You will learn from your experiences.

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Apr 16 2009, 09:50 PM

Hi there, you sure are meticulous responding to each of my post.
Yeap I am a sheltered kid, I have never been through hardship, never worked a second in my life, I had a series of maids raising me and my siblings in an ivory tower like prison called home, my dad forbid us to venture out when we were young as we had everything within the walls of my home. However I have been expose to certain darker sides of society, my mom's a Christian very much devoted with charity, I did a fair bit of volunteer work and have seen people of the streets (homeless people and prostitutes), spent time in orphanages and old folks homes and it really is difficult to see people suffering, I wish I could alleviate all their pains and the hell they've been through.

Well thanks for making your definition of primacy clearer, you should have just said self-actualization (I'm aware of this one ahaha), self actualization, I agree it is what every being should strive for, its sort of the end-point after that would be sort of like Buddha achieving nirvana.

Yeah, I'll learn, still I'm not quite sure I'll like it but its what everyone goes through, so no complains.

I guarantee you that watching people suffer is a cakewalk compared to actually experiencing the suffering. Anybody who thinks else is not right in the head.

Of all examples of self-actualisation, you quoted Buddha, the exemplar of asceticism.

This is why I use the word primacy, not self-actualisation. The latter is a word that has been hijacked by people with Christian guilt to promote their ascetic values.

The former is unapologetic and affirming of our human existence.

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Apr 16 2009, 11:03 PM

Hmm I thought Buddha lead an exemplary life. I thought some of his philosophies are rather good, like eliminating desires and stuff like that (don't bash me if I'm wrong, I'm not a Buddhist)
Yeah asceticism, what do you think of it? I have contemplated the notion of living an ascetic life (not to the extreme of the Jain order), I don't think its difficult to give up worldly goods (except for books). I've never given much thought to primacy, the concept is rather hazy (I've just only learned this term from you, never saw it anywhere in my philosophy books),
primacy, it sounds close to primate, primary, something like going back to nature, going back to our origins?
Survival of the fittest?
Darwin style of living? If so I find the theory flawed ...

This post has been edited by Jyou: Apr 16 2009, 11:31 PM

Yes.... we can discuss these things another time

come on, this is a place for people whoes ready to confess, not some arguing place ughhh

Read properly, there is some healthy discussion going on. And still considered on topic if you take time to track back.

WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU , MAKES YOU STRONGER !!!

.. but seriously ... confessing out loud to a girl.. saying things like .. " I have to tell u something ... I've known U for 2 months now .... and we're friends .. I really like u ... bla bla bla .. " .. if u say this .. without knowing if the the girl likes u or not .. u r finished .... its a big risk to take ... U'll get ur ego all crushed .. and u'll endup kicking ur nuts ... it's like ... placing a bet in a casino ... and the bet is 1000 bucks !! .. if u are rich and u can afford to lose it fine .. if u cant afford it ? ...
but u also can't go on living life without taking some risks .. you may regret not letting her know ... but there are always ways ..... try subtlety .. girls are good at picking up subtle hints ... .. every guy has to go through atleast 1 rejection ... not everyone will have 100% success rate ..

Good one...

Actually, there is some better way to just direct confess your feeling about the girl/guy. It is better to give hint to the other and observe the response. Like try the ask whether you have a bf/gf while in the normal conversation. Or whats your desire partner and so on, 1st you can know whether he/she in a relationship, then he/she will notice you are interest in his/her live. Then the relationship can little by little improve till the right time to confess. By then if rejected sure he/she will try to advise or explain to you it not possible to be together. For the safeties way try to be friend 1st, it will really not a good feeling for each part. For sure direct confess will freak out the other party, cos they will feel I'm don't know you or not knowing you enough why I should accept you. And worry why such person act like freak, and any motive on me...

Honestly said, I had experience gals try to approach me by firstly be friend, then try to ask your personal feeling, asking your desire partner, try to get together with you, interest to your hobby. But then gals feeling are sensitive, they will sense even a little words or action of you. Just if you are not interest to them, after some test & hint from them, they will know right after. But I really an idiot which think too much, and so choosy till now I'm still a single which haven't got a gf before. Shame on me.

Then how to "be fren first" if the girl wont give a chance? Everytime you try to knock a new door, it slams back at you...