• Albnok is the Chuck Norris of photography
• Albnok's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
• Albnok doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
• Sure, Albnok deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
• Albnok doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
• Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Albnok never is.
• Albnok doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
• Albnok never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
• Albnok ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
• Albnok is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
• When Albnok brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
• Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Albnok and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
• Once Albnok tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
• Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Albnok doesn't even need to think once
• Albnok doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
• Only Albnok can take pictures of Albnok ; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
• Albnok wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
• Albnok is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
• Albnok's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
• Albnok once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
• When Albnok unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
• Albnok portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
• On Albnok's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
• Albnok spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
• When Albnok went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
• For every 10 shots that Albnok takes, 11 are keepers.
• Albnok's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
• Albnok never focus, everything moves into his DoF
• Albnok's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
• The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
• Albnok never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
• A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" Albnok
• Albnok isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Albnok of martial arts.
• Albnok never starts, he continues