Outline ·
[ Standard ] ·
Linear+
Advice Wanted Should I confront, my new bf
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
 Dec 9 2008, 02:58 PM, updated 17y ago
|
New Member
|
Just started a new relationship with a guy. We knew each other online and last week I got to meet him in person. He confessed and I accepted. However I feel like he is not really that into me as I found out he's been checking out some other girls. I'm not sure if he think I'm the one for him which is why he is still searching. Should I ask him now? or should I wait till the relationship goes longer and see how it goes? FYI he is working at sg now, so I don't get to meet him everyday.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 9 2008, 03:05 PM
|
New Member
|
QUOTE(KirklandLee @ Dec 9 2008, 03:01 PM) How long you know him? What is your expectation out of this relationship? What is his expectation out of this relationship? Where do you want to go in this relationship? Have you asked all the above questions before jumping in the love boat? Didn't really know him long enough, like 2 months or so. Of course I'm expecting the relationship to be working out. And I thought he is serious too which I'm doubting now. |
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 9 2008, 03:11 PM
|
New Member
|
QUOTE(@lice~~ @ Dec 9 2008, 03:03 PM) Yes, u should let him know.. it's better that he know now than later.. if he find that he couldn't accept it then better say bye bye now.. some guys just like to flirt and just for fun but some did it for purpose.. To be honest when I found out that he has bene checking some other girls, he is like a total stranger to me now. Cause from the way he chatted online he seems serious in relationship which is why he stop dating for 3 years since his last broke up cause he said he couldn't find the right one. QUOTE(aurora97 @ Dec 9 2008, 03:04 PM) wait a second here... online meaning LYN forum, mmorpg, Msn or... etc.. is he from another country or local? some other details u might want to fill us in on. MSN. He is local but currently working at sg. Will be back to Malaysia soon. Actually he didnt really confess, he just grab my hand. I actually pull off a few times ( not in an obvious way) cause i wasn't sure at that moment but in the end I just accepted it, cause I know I like him but its just a lil bit too fast. |
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 9 2008, 03:20 PM
|
New Member
|
QUOTE(KirklandLee @ Dec 9 2008, 03:07 PM) If you don't mind me asking how old are you? or you can just give me an estimate.  i'm in the mid-20s and he is in the late-20s QUOTE(lux @ Dec 9 2008, 03:12 PM) If ur lucky, the guy might just tell u the truth (did u find out that he was doing this without ur knowledge?) if u asked him. But I'd say go wth ur gut instincts.  The guy who is really into u wouldn't check out other girls once he is already involved in a relationship. I think that and honesty is quite an important start in a serious relationship, if that's what ur looking for. A guy who doesn't know what he wants, yet testing the waters with u, is just a jerk with a really sweet mouth. he was doing it without my knowledge but I suppose he realise that its easy for me to find out what he been doing. I somehow feel like he is testing out the water which is why i'm not sure if i should confront him like now. QUOTE(vey99 @ Dec 9 2008, 03:14 PM) Cause I dont wanna sound pushy. And I think maybe I should give him some time to think about it. |
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
 Dec 9 2008, 03:24 PM
|
New Member
|
QUOTE(@lice~~ @ Dec 9 2008, 03:20 PM)  gal, dun give in so easy.. my guy friend always grab my hand too but we r good friend.. better confront him directly.. n tell him all inside ur heart n let him know how u feel.. Well i'm those where if I like you, you dont really need to do anything. QUOTE(ling~ @ Dec 9 2008, 03:21 PM) 1st date he grab ur hand without ur permission wat does he plan to do on 2nd date?  He asked but after he grabbed it |
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 9 2008, 03:43 PM
|
New Member
|
QUOTE(lux @ Dec 9 2008, 03:37 PM) Awh, if I were u maybe I'd check up a little more on his "activities" and if I have concrete proof, I'd confront him about it. If he doesn't want to admit to anything then, then u'd know just what kinda guy he is. Kinda sad that he's already giving u bad vibes only 2 months into ur relationship.. Its not 2 months, more like 3-4 days...sad case |
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 9 2008, 04:01 PM
|
New Member
|
QUOTE(lux @ Dec 9 2008, 03:49 PM)  Actually, come to think of it, can u accept his reason if he admitted that he was still "open for other options"? His activities are within these 3-4 days too? Or was it that u just happened to find out then?His activities are within these few days too, else I wont be bothered. I can't accept it if he told me he is still open for other options. But I can accept it if he admitted and not going to do it again. QUOTE(chocoholic221 @ Dec 9 2008, 03:53 PM) i met and got together with my current bf the same way as well. i think you should confront him about it, but do it tactfully so as not to make it sound like a threat. my bf and i open up about everything, including stuff about our exes, and its a good way to clear up all insecurities and all the unecessary worries. =) I think I just going to ask him how he see our relationship. Whether he going to lie or not, I can still trust him to be honest. This post has been edited by AngelOrDevil: Dec 9 2008, 04:02 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 9 2008, 04:28 PM
|
New Member
|
QUOTE(peinsama @ Dec 9 2008, 04:21 PM) Checking out some other girl as in? Browsing and click their name? Or insist to get to know the other girls? Moreover, i think is best, that at least put a little trust on him. It wouldn't be that hard, right? So if he is just checking out and not insist to get to know the other girls then its normal? Whether he insist on getting to know the other girls, I'm not sure but I can find out also. If not because of hte lilttle trust I have on him, I should be arguing with him right now... Actually that comes back to my topic question, whether I should trust him and see how things go or to confront him. |
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 9 2008, 04:56 PM
|
New Member
|
QUOTE(peinsama @ Dec 9 2008, 04:41 PM) Thing is, why you have to make it sound abnormal? To our expectation and assumption here, unless you tell us here in details what do you mean by 'checking other girls out', i guess most of us here assume its normal? I can click on a girl's profile, and if you're not satisfied about it, should you look at your insecurity? Or perhaps he isn't actually finding and spending quality time with you, which i believe is the reason why you're unhappy?
And its hard for you to gain another little more trust on him? Just for the note, trusting someone is not about, 'i put my faith on him and just let him be'. You can still trust the person when you confront the person ONLY if you know how to ask and question properly. I don't expect you to interrogate him, but you could actually try to ask him in a nice or flirty way perhaps? He knew you trust him, if you care about the relationship. Now that's trust. Rather than blindly crossing fingers and let him do his own thing, now that's like trying to hit double jackpot in a slot machine in Vegas.
How about just spare yourself more time and see what he is actually up to. At least you can gather up reasons to support your doubt and curiousity. How's that sound? Why do I have to make it sounds abnormal...cause its not as normal as browsing through friendster or fb. Don't really feel like telling that in details, spare me for this. For the first time ever in a relationship I felt this kind of insecurity. Maybe because I feel like I'm not good enough for him. |
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 10 2008, 01:47 PM
|
New Member
|
To clear the doubt about whether we are in a relationship, I can say yes we are and I have no doubt about that. The reason why I'm insecure also cause of his care and don't care attitude. In fact I talked with him yesterday night, of course I didn't ask him about checking out the other girls thing. I asked him if he is unsure about our relationship. And to my surprise he said "kind of" cause he not sure if I'm fully recover from my last relationship. Maybe I'm thinking too much as I'm scare to commit in this relationship. Guess I will just take it easy...
|
|
|
|
|
|
TSAngelOrDevil
|
Dec 21 2008, 09:27 AM
|
New Member
|
Updates:
The checking out other girls stuff is somehow solve...but we broke up anyway. As he said he gonna be on training in the state for the next half year(he doesn't like distance relationship), and if there is fate we can continue when he is back(so that if the relationship is not working we wont be that hurt). I didn't sleep with him if all you guys out there been saying all he want is my body. I suppose he is just not that into me that he wanted to give up the relationship. It hurts but its the best too...I'm not sure if I should wait for him .. Cause now I really don't know what kinda guy he is..and what he is thinking actually.
|
|
|
|
|
Quote
0.0167sec
0.35
6 queries
GZIP Disabled