i think love is a zero sum game...one gains while the other loses...

it struck me when 2day i realize tat my relationship is going no where...then i realize either me or her have to take the 1st step to end the relationship...

well,she is not local

when i was courting her, i already realized the problem but i was hoping tat things would change but after 8 months, nothing changed...she still insist on staying at her own country...as for me,i cant leave malaysia as well...either side cant compromise on this point...

sucks,like a knife straight into my heart everytime i think about it...

nvr hope ppl to change, u should change first...
if u cannot change for ppl, y u wan ppl to change for u?

i changed alot for her as we share different culture, i have to adjust alot to suit her culture but i can see her changing for me too...

we actually achieved a point of equilibrium and we r happy together but when it comes to the topic of asking her to stay in malaysia,she is firm and i'm equally firm...

i havent feel tis pain before in along time and feel like falling into a vortex

i understand.... i know the pain.. the loss.. well..

/BWHY SO SERIOUS!!!/B

where she stay and which part of msia u staying?

I used to faced the same problem like you where my gf from Jakarta. At first she promised and willingly to live in malaysia after married.

However at the end the she can't do it due to culture, parents and friends where we broke up. I believe This could be the the excuse that she dont really love me.

same as u but my gf is from medan

just because it didn't really work out for you doesn't mean its a zero sum game does it ? @@"

but long distance relationship require alot of tolerance and commitment , considering that you are not willing to head into that direction I guess you should really sum it up .

You want someone else to leave their country , their family and friends , their everything behind to be with you , thats alot of sacrifices and since you can't even do that for a start I don't think you should really expect much from your opposition . Furthermore , there is so much risk ! Maybe she doesn't think that you are secure enough for her to let go off everything .

I am sure you can find someone else who is more suitable .

Pretty sad because of cant love due to culture things so on....
Isn't there really a way to solve it?

well currently she is still in malaysia...but next year she will have to go back to medan...

just now having dinner also cant eat properly and one time i choked...man,really sucks

if it's not from china then it's from indon. so typical.

tat's LDR fails...

but don take it tat all relationships are lidat...

right now is still not LDR la...she is still in malaysia but next year it will be LDR if the relationship still stays

Well im from jakarta. as indonesian, maybe u can ask me about the culture. or to check on something.

i need to know the details first.

what culture she told u about ?

if one gains and the other loses, it's not a relationship.
what kind of rubbish relationship partners have malaysians become?

to be fair, both of you should leave your country and settle down at another country

the zero sum game applied in life generally.

sometime although we are sure one thing is benefitting each other, actually its not. there is not exact balance.

thats human.

actually tis thought has run into my mind before but i cant leave malaysia while she cant leave indo which both of us dont agree...the strange things is tat my cousin brother who has a gf in indo too and they both leave their home country and settle in australia...like all fairy tale story,they live happily ever after...

well today while she and i were having lunch,the atmosphere sucks...i can practically CUT the tension in half...it was awful and the silence surround us makes everything worst...we talk like 3-4 lines for the whole day(until now tat is)

I don't think I'm losing anything by being with my boyfriend. It's a win-win situation.

i'm sorry to say but give it time