This is very inspiring to me, this is written by someone else - i hope he doesn't mind me sharing here
A very powerful guide for people who needs it
This is going to be a wall of text but its worth reading every bits of it
-Change your thinking, Change your life
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“There is nothing on earth that you cannot have-once you have mentally accepted the fact that you can have it.”
-Robert Collier
Perhaps the most important mental and spiritual principle ever discovered is that you become what you think about most of the time. Your outer world reflects your inner world. You can tell the inner condition of a person by looking at the outer conditions of his or her life. And it cannot be otherwise.
Your mind is extraordinarily powerful. Your thoughts control and determine almost everything that happens to you.
You are a complex bundle of thoughts, feelings, attitudes, desires, images, fears, hopes, doubts, opinions and ambitions, each of them constantly changing, sometimes from second to second. Your entire life is the result of the intertwining and interconnecting of these factors.
Your thoughts trigger images and pictures, and the emotions that go with them. These images and emotions trigger attitudes and actions. Your actions then have consequences and results that determine what happens to you.
If you think about success and confidence, you will feel strong and competent, and you will perform better at whatever you attempt. If you think about making mistakes and being embarrassed, you will perform poorly, no matter how good you really are.
Your attitudes lead to corresponding images, emotions and actions that affect your life and relationships. Your attitudes are based on your previous experiences and your basic premises about how things are supposed to be.
Your actions trigger the emotions and attitudes that go with them. By law of reversibility, you can actually act your way into feeling in a manner consistent with the action. By acting as if you were already happy, positive and confident, you soon begin to feel that way on the inside. And your actions are under your direct control, whereas your emotions are not.
The outer aspects of your life are neutral. It is the meaning that you give to them that determines your attitudes, emotions, opinions and reactions to them. If you change your thinking about a certain part of your life, you will change how you feel and behave in that area. And since only you can decide what to think, you have the ability to take complete control of your life.
The Law of Belief says: Whatever you believe, with conviction, becomes your reality.
You always act in accordance with your most intensely held beliefs, whether they are true or not. Your beliefs once did not exist, so they are learned.
You do not believe what you see, but rather you see what you already believe.
The most harmful beliefs that you can have are your self-limiting beliefs. These are beliefs about you and your potential that hold you back. Most of them are not true. Most of them are the result of information you have accepted without question, often from when you were young. If you believe yourself to be limited in an area then that will become your truth.
The Law of Attraction says that you invariably attract into your life the people, ideas, opportunities, and circumstances in harmony with your dominant thoughts.
This law explains why it is that you don’t have to be concerned where your good is going to come from.
If you can keep your mind clearly focussed on what you want, and refrain from thinking about what you don’t want, you will attract everything you need to achieve your goals, exactly when you are ready. Change your thinking and you change your life.
Bertrand Russell, the English philosopher, once said, “The very best proof that something can be done is that others have already done it.”
In the New Testament, Jesus taught the way to measure the truth of any principle: “By their fruits, ye shall know them.”
The only question you need to ask about any idea is, “Does it work?” does it bring about the results that you desire?
Successful people are those who think more effectively than unsuccessful people. They approach their lives, relationships, goals, problems and experiences differently from others. They sow better seeds and as a result they reap better lives.
There is a law in psychology that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you keep and hold that picture there long enough, you will soon become exactly as you have been thinking.
-William James
Perhaps the greatest breakthrough in the field of human potential in the twentieth century was the discovery of the self-concept. Each person beginning, at birth, develops a bundle of beliefs regarding one self. Your self-concept then becomes the master program of your subconscious computer, determining everything you think, say, feel and do. For this reason all change in your outer life begins with a change in your self-concept.
When you believe something to be true, it becomes true for you, whatever the fact may be. “You are not what you think you are, but what you think, you are.”
You are born unafraid, except from loud noises and falling. We learn 2 major fears in life:
(1) failure or Loss
(2) Rejection or Criticism
We learn the fear of failure when we are criticized upon trying something new or different. “No”, “get away from there”, “put that down”, “stop that.”
We soon begin to believe that we are incapable of doing anything new and different. We react as if we’re afraid of getting a spanking; we keep saying “I can’t.”
Fear of failure is the main reason for failure in adult life. We sell ourselves short, we quit even before we try the first time. Instead of using our amazing minds to figure out how to get what we want, we use our reasoning ability to create reasons why we can’t, and why things we want are not possible for us.
The 2nd fear is the fear of rejection, in the form of criticism. For a child, the fear of being unloved and alone is so traumatic that they soon conform their behavior to whatever the parents approve of. Spontaneity and uniqueness is lost.
A child raised with conditional love becomes hypersensitive to the opinions of others.
Fear of failure and rejection, caused by destructive criticism in childhood, form the root causes of most of our unhappiness and anxiety in adult life. We feel “I can’t” or “I have to”. There is no worse feeling than when we feel “I can’t, but I have to”, or “I have to, but I can’t.”
We want to do something but we are afraid of failure or loss. Or we are afraid of disapproval. We want to do something to improve our life, work, or home, but we’re afraid that we may fail, or that someone else may criticize us, or both.
Fears can be severe and govern your life. Everything you do will be organized around avoiding failure or criticism. People with a fear of criticism think about playing it safe rather than striving for goals. They seek security rather than opportunity. Thomas J. Watson, one of the giants of American business said:
“If you want to be successful faster, you must double your rate of failure.”
The more you have already failed, the more likely it is that you are on the verge of great success. Your failures prepare you to succeed!
This is why a streak of good luck follows a streak of bad luck. When in doubt, double your rate of failure. The more things you try, the more likely you are to triumph. You overcome your fear only by doing the thing you fear until the fear has no more control over you.
Self-Concept
You have a self-concept that records all beliefs you have about yourself and your abilities. Your self concept predicts your performance in everything that you do.
Law of Correspondence—you always behave on the outside with a manner consistent with your self concept on the inside.
We have mini self-concepts that make up our overall self concept. You have a self concept for every area of your life that you consider important. This mini self concept determines how you perform in that area. You have a mini self concept for uni, for work, for how you behave with your boss, how good a soccer player you are. You even have a self concept for how well you drive your car.
Change your beliefs.
If you want to change your performance and results in any area of your life, you have to change your self-concept – your beliefs about yourself- for that area.
The worst beliefs you can have are self-limiting beliefs. These beliefs make you feel deficient in some areas. Beliefs are subjective and are not based on reality, making beliefs seldom true. But if you accept them as valid estimates of you, then they become so for you, exactly as if they were true.
The starting point to unlock your self-limiting beliefs and accomplishing more than you have ever before is to challenge your self limiting beliefs.
You begin freeing yourself from the beliefs by imagining that they are completely untrue. Imagine for a moment that you have no limitations on your abilities at all. Imagine that you could be, do or have anything that you really wanted in life. Imagine that your potential is unlimited in any way.
Self-Concept
There are three parts to your self concept, connected together like a pie.
(1) Self- Ideal
(2) Self- Image
(3) Self- Esteem
Self-Ideal
Your self ideal is the person you would most like to become. It is all your wishes about how you want to be, in every department. You always try and live up to your self ideal.
Successful people are clear about their values, visions and ideals. They know who they are and what they believe in. they set high ideals in everything and do not compromise those ideals. Self Ideal is when you see a character do something and say that’s the best way to do it. It is the qualities, virtues, visions and values that you most admire in yourself and others.
Self- Image
Self image is the way you see yourself and the way you think about yourself. It is where you look internally to see how you should behave in a particular situation. You always perform on the outside ‘consistent’ with the picture you have of yourself on the ‘inside’.
All improvements in your life begin with an improvement in your mental pictures. You get those mental pictures from your self-ideal. You apply them to your self image.
How closely you end up performing to your self ideal determines how you feel about yourself, your self-esteem.
Self- Esteem
This is the most important factor determining how you think, feel and behave. Your level of self-esteem largely determines much of what happens to you in life. The more you like yourself, the better you perform, and by the law of reversibility- the better you perform, the more you like yourself.
Self- Esteem is the internal energy source for your confidence and enthusiasm. Your level of self esteem is determined by how closely your self image matches your self ideal. You are always comparing your actual performance with your ideal performance at an unconscious level.
Self esteem lies at the core of your self concept and your personality. Every improvement in any part of your personality or performance boosts your self-esteem, and causes you to like and respect yourself more. Every time you improve something in your personality, you end up liking yourself more. The more you like yourself, the better your subsequent performance will be and the faster you will arrive at your self-ideal.
The best news of all is that there is an inverse relationship between your levels of self-esteem and your fears of failure and rejection. The more you like yourself the less you fear failure. The more you like yourself the less you fear criticism and rejection, the less the opinions of others get to you. The more you like yourself the more you make decisions based on your own goals and standards.
Just as you become what you think about, you also become what you say to yourself.
The most powerful words that you can say to yourself when you feel tense about an upcoming event is, “I like myself! I like myself! I like my self!”
Whenever you say this your fears diminish and your courage increases. Your subconscious immediately accepts that as a command. You automatically stand straighter, your body language improves, your face becomes more positive and cheerful, your tone of voice becomes stronger and more confident, you feel better about yourself and you treat everyone around you in a warmer, friendlier way.
Beginning the process of changing your thinking and changing your life is to go to work on your self concept.
You start by developing a clear, positive, exciting and inspiring self-ideal, consistent with the very best person you can imagine yourself becoming. You begin developing your positive self image by imagining yourself performing at your very best in everything that you do.
Finally you develop high and unshakeable levels of self esteem by loving and accepting yourself unconditionally as a valuable and worthwhile person.
Basic Premises
Most of your thoughts and responses to events and people in your life are determined by your basic premises. These are the ideas, beliefs, opinions and conclusions you have come up with as a result of your experiences and inputs in childhood. They make up your philosophy of life!
The more convinced you are of your basic premises, the more they predict and control everything that you do, say and feel.
If you have good basic premises you:
• Believe yourself to be an excellent person
• Loaded with talent and ability
• Friendly and popular
• Healthy and energetic
• Curious and creative
• Destined to have a wonderful life
These premises will lead you to set goals, work hard, develop yourself, treat others well, bounce back from adversity and ultimately succeed.
Nothing will be able to stop you in the long run.
Where you’re coming from does not matter. What matters is where you’re going. Where you’re going is only limited by your imagination. Your imagination is unlimited, so is your future.
These are the basic premises and beliefs you need to fulfill your potential.
The Myths
We may develop myths that halt our development. The 1st of these myths, and the worst, is : “I’m not good enough.”
This basic premise causes feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. We assume that other people are better than us just because at the moment they are doing better than we are. We feel that they must be worth more than us. Therefore we must be worth less than them. This feeling of ‘worthlessness’ sits deep in our psyche and makes us sell ourselves short.
We settle for less than we are capable of. Rather than failing at a new goal, we don’t set it in the first place.
The correct basic premise for you to develop or belief for you to have is that you have the ability to be excellent in any area that is important to you. You have unlimited potential. You have the ability to achieve more than you have ever achieved until now. Shakespeare said: “What’s past is prologue.”
Whatever you have accomplished in the past is only a hint of what you can do in the future.
The most powerful words in your vocabulary are those you say to yourself- your self talk. Inner dialogue determines 95% of emotions.
Talk to yourself only in terms of what you can be and do. Refuse to say anything to yourself that you do not desire sincerely to be true.
Repeat the words “I can do it” repeatedly. They are powerful and positive words. Prior to any important event, repeat the words “I like myself”, say, “I’m the best! I’m the best! I’m the best!” again and again like you really mean it. Then stand up straight and strong, put a confident smile on your face and do he very best of which you are capable.
Soon it will become a habit.
Another self limiting myth is the belief that you don’t deserve to be successful. When you experience success in what you want, you may experience ‘Imposter syndrome’. You feel that you are an imposter in your success, that you are going to be found out.
You feel that no matter how successful you are as a result of your own hard work, you’ll be found out and it will be taken away from you. If you feel like an imposter you may feel guilty for achieving greater success than others, and to escape these feelings of guilt, many people engage in self sabotage- they eat too much, ignore their families, behave unpredictably, throw money away unwisely and extravagantly, chase friends away. They don’t allow themselves to get too far ahead. They drive away their success.
Serve others
In a society like ours today, all transactions are voluntary. People purchase what they think will improve their lives, if they will be better off as a result. You can be successful in the long run by providing people with the things that they want to improve their lives and work. The better you serve other people, the more you both deserve and earn.
The word deserve comes from the Latin words;
“de” from
“servere” to serve
Therefore,
Deserve From service
Abraham Lincoln said: “The very best way to help the poor is to not become one of them.”
The more financially successful you are, the more taxes you pay. These taxes help to pay for the things that society needs. Schools, hospitals, roads, welfare, healthcare, military expidenture.
By making money you make a significant contribution to lots of people. You do well for yourself by doing well for others.
Repeat “I am proud of my success”
You are an excellent person
you are a thoroughly good person. You are honest, decent, truthful and hardworking. You treat other people with courtesy, respect, and warmth. You are dedicated to your family, friends, and your company. You are strong, confident and responsible. You are knowledgeable, intelligent and experienced. You are important not only to the people closest to you, but also to your community. You were born for a special reason, and you have a great destiny to fulfill. You are an excellent person in every way.
This paragraph is a statement of your real personality and character. It is a description of who you really are inside, and where you are going with your life.
When you unconditionally accept that you are a truly valuable and worthwhile person, you will express it in everything you say and do. Over time it will become true for you. Your ideal will become your reality.
Repeat “I like myself and I love my life. I am a thoroughly good person in every way, and I always do my very best at anything I attempt.”
Mental software store
Imagine there was a store that sold mental programming. You could buy any self-concept, belief or attitude that you wanted and install it on your brain and that’s the person you would be from then on. What would you choose?
Look around. Find out what the happiest and most successful people in your world have developed as their core beliefs. And then get the same set of beliefs for yourself. Load them onto your mental hard drive and start running the same programs they are running.
Based on hundreds of interviews with successful people, we know how they are programmed and what beliefs they have developed from an early age.
The most important core belief you can adopt for yourself is :
“I am a thoroughly good person and I am going to be a big success in life. Everything that happens to me, good or bad, is simply a part of the process of achieving the great success and happiness that is inevitable for me.”
May 5 2009, 05:59 PM
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