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Important Background Information:



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THE REAL GAME OF LOVE
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First, a few definitions:
Social Dominance: in control of one's life and has a certain level of connectedness with those in his social circle. In the modern world, social dominance is difficult to achieve without money, but possible on a tight budget none the less.
Pretty: sexually attractive / proportionate (whatever your definition of sexual attractiveness may be)
Ugly: not sexually attractive / disproportionate (note: it's not about being slim or chubby...)


Consider the following statements:
Guys like girls who are pretty.
Girls like guys who are socially dominant.

Guys would not usually think of actively courting / spending resources on girls whom they are not at least a little bit sexually attracted (or physically aroused by) to.
Girls would not usually think of actively trying to get the attention of guys whom they perceive as being weak.

Guys try to court the pretty girls.
Pretty girls have a wide choice of guys.
Pretty girls will not usually settle for guys who are non-socially dominant.

Girls try to attract the socially dominant guys.
Socially dominant guys have a wide choice of girls.
Socially dominant guys will not usually settle for girls who are ugly.

Your "average" girl may just so happen to appeal to a really socially dominant guy.
Your "average" guy may just so happen to appeal to a really pretty girl.

Face it,
Being pretty improves a girl's chances of finding the right guy who is reasonably socially dominant, reasonably well built, and compatible.
Being socially dominant improves a guy's chances of finding the right girl who is reasonably charming/feminine, reasonably sexually attractive, and compatible.

That Said,
Not all girls are pretty.
What about the girl who realizes that she's in her 30s and has never dated? She was never sexually attractive enough to have a guy who was up to her expectations ask her out. All this while she was distracted by the pursuit of knowledge and wealth/career. Her biological clock is ticking. She knows she's way past her prime... Her ovaries are not going to wait for her. They are shriveling by the day...
Not all guys are socially dominant.
What about the guy who never attracted the attention of a girl whom he finds reasonably attractive? He's too shy to ask girls out because of bad experiences (with the pretty girls who had more eligable suitors). He's been working for 10 years and now has his own little humble place. He's feeling lonely and knows that his youth is nearing it's end. He's never even gotten laid before (ok, that's a bit cruel to say)

Reality Bites
The average guy learns to lower his expectations/standard to a point where he is comfortable. He finds a girl who he thinks is right for him. He calls it love after awhile.

The average girl learns that the most eligable bachelors are out of her reach and looks elsewhere. She finds a guy who he thinks is right for her. She calls it love after awhile.

Caveat
1) Cultural compatibility plays a key role in finding a life partner. Social dominance and beauty will not guarantee the person you find attractive is right for you.
2) Different people have different standards for beauty/attractiveness/social dominance. Mika recently wrote a song about how chubby girls are attractive in their own way. DONT JUDGE PEOPLE too much.
3) Attractiveness may literally be "chemical". Scientists now believe that people with differing sets of genes for bacterial/viral immunity are more likely to like each other's natural scent (eg. the smell of your t shirt after you've worn it all night to sleep).

What im trying to say is that there are other factors that come in to play asides from the major ones in red and blue.

Personally...
...the person whom i very much would have liked to spend my life with was NOT the prettiest person i've ever dated. We were compatible, and in her I saw "home". I cant explain it, but I DID FIND HER REASONABLY ATTRACTIVE. Unfortunately, we were to go our separate ways


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BIG Questions This Thread Answers
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Why It Is So Hard To Find A Date On A Friday Night?
1) Your standards are too high.
2) You are not attractive enough yourself to attract a partner of your standard.

How Come Western Society With All It's "Pergaulan Bebas" (With Girls Wearing Hotpants and Spaghetti Straps) Has Not Disintegrated?
...because everyone has expectations. The girl with a hot body knows she is attractive and expects to get the guy who is up to her standards. The same goes for the socially dominant guys. Everyone tries to find the most attractive partner they can. Most girls are not that pretty. Most guys are not socially dominant. Hence, social breakdown will not occur even with free mingling. Revealing clothing can be seductive when worn by the right people, but let's face it... Sometimes i'd wish some girls were forbidden from wearing revealing tops. Not because it's arousing, but rather because its just disgusting to look at. Yup, the clothes that hide beauty can also serve to hide ugliness. So what about the beautiful girls? Eye candy to oogle at. But they are picky and free to choose who they are dating. The numerous guys who are turned on by them wont even stand a chance. If malaysian women were to dress more revealingly, I dont think society would disintegrate. Rather, people would be more aware of where they stand in the game of love and attractiveness.

Antithesis of the Moralistic Paradigm: Malaysians are generally taught in our education system (PI or Moral) about the need for moral safeguards and interventions (eg J.A.I.S. raids) with regards to dating and sex. According to the moralists, society would disintegrate without such measures. "Pergaulan bebas", or free inter-gender mingling, is discouraged. Camps are segregated. The college that I went to even had a gender segregated cafeteria! We are taught to hate or frown upon the natural approach to dating and relationships. We are taught that women should not reveal themselves as it is harmful to society.




If you are a guy and have found this post useful, do read the following:
What Girls Really Want In A Man.
A bump in that thread will be much appreciated, for the good of MAN-kind.

This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jul 27 2008, 10:26 PM

This, my friend, deserve a sticky after your previous thread.

You made my day.

Good post mate

I like this thread compared to the previous one. At least it's straightforward heh.
Well I'm not dissing your threads, at all. Just that I prefer this one to your old thread.

Nevertheless I do find both useful. Good job for posting.

another great post by a great poster, pretty much sums out how the world works...
but i still have a hunch that there will still be guys who would come into the forums blaming how money magically drops the pants of females

This post has been edited by sets84: Jun 26 2008, 03:23 AM

How about define average too? Or from your example, it is just simply between unattractive and attractive?

hmm hmm hmm great post targeting the average joe audience out there.

me not going to be the average guy. I am trying to become the social dominant guy, pick the materialistic woman just to let them fall down hard.

revenge is fun.

i agreee with u this shud a very meaningful post i read so far///

Great post , Now the only thing that can top it off , is that you also post a video of you actually picking up a girl giving an explanation of how you handled the dynamics , that would be better than this !

stick this one mods...
ezralimm - u finally impressed us... prolly?

Yup, great post. Deserves to be pinned. The world, truth sucks and yeah, reality bites you in the ass !!

Great!!!

damn long wor...read till wanna fall asleep d...

but quite informative...

What's with the kitten in my organization cloak? Haha....i sensed that buayakatsuki is going to threaten my akatsuki organization. I better hide myself for awhile.

THe hawk organisation is now working with akatsuki, so its fine on my end

Omfg
Thread of the season
Thx alot m8

Awesome write on the complexity of social dynamics. Kudos to you.

after reading this.. i dont kno where i am...

Very nice info...

Will start a poll to request pin when article is complete.

Thanks for the compliments!


I did this on my spare time. Im not an arts student, although if I didnt get the course of my choice I may have likely chosen something to do with sociology/anthropology.


Those kinds of guys would always exist wouldnt they. DIfficult to reason with them. Just like the girls who think guys just look at TnA (tits and ass) when judging women.


Hahaha, maybe in the far future, not anytime soon. Aiming to complete the article over the next few weeks.



Coming up:

The BIG questions of life that this article has answered. (it's not what you think it is trust me.)
What prompted me to think about all of this.
General cleanup, append caveat #4, and update layout. Prob remove the spoiler in the beginning as well.

This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jun 27 2008, 11:46 AM

we want more insights

How sad so there is no true/real love after all, its all conditioned love
I have been cheated by dramas and fairy tale stories


good post neverheless
but a lil bit generalized

What happened in dramas is total fairy tales that misleads most of the people from the hard truth. Hollywood, Korean even Malaysian movie makers should be blamed for this..

Yes yes yes you're right

So ezralim has burst a bubble, there is no true love any more

True love still exists, I believe. But only few lucky people will have the luxury for it (e.g love at first sight etc..etc..). Many will just have to "settled" with what he/she can get. Some might not getting any at all, no matter how low their expectation is. This might sounds too harsh but hey, I know them first hand..

that's a pretty harsh conclusion to make.


It takes two people to tango before there is love.

Yet people only tango with other people who are up to their expectations.

Everyone likes to thiink they can have high expectations.



Love blossoms when you spend enough time with someone you are attracted to (and is attracted to you).

The key is time. Quality time. Not time with a group of friends. Time alone together. Over a nice meal. Long walks on the beach (cliche leh...).


Unattractive people (this applies to both guys and girls) have difficulty finding someone decently attractive (by their standards) who is also attractted to them...

Love still blossoms though. They eventually learn to lower their standards and end up spending time with a less-than-ideal, but still acceptable person of the opposite sex. Spend enough time and they get used to each other, and love blooms.

Love isnt really blind. But they know that they have to be blind towards the really attractive people of the opposite sex (as they dont stand much of a chance) and appreciate the person who is willing to go out with them.

Words of wisdom.

This post has been edited by igor_is300: Jun 28 2008, 12:06 AM

But imo if u lower your standard, it isnt still what u wanted?

I fail at lovey dovey stuff anyway
*hungs head in shame*

why am i the only one think this thread shouldn't be pinned, lulz

why ? because beautiful girl deosn't necessary end up with dominant guy, so does dominant guy vice versa lulz even in general too, cheers

Note the word "usually" in the article. (now bolded and italisized)

Also see Caveat #2.

If you want to make movie or dramas 'successful', you gotta have 'something' that could have touched the heart of the 'audience'. I don't think so it misled, it misled only to your perception. There are really romance movies out there that helps people to achieve their 'best' in their love life and it depends on how you look at the situation. If you're going in with the expectation and crossing fingers hoping that the 'actress' in your love-life is going to be like the one in the drama, know that its no difference than fapping.

Here's the thing, if you were to ask me, i do not care about the ending of romantic movies but i like the ongoing process of the romance happened. The flirting lines, the gestures, the romance 'body-language', the 'stare', the smile and especially the actor's confidence. These are thing that really what people should look for, the essence of romance. Not deriving a conclusion, that we should or could also have a love life like both actor and actress in the movie. Of course it will misled if things didn't turn out to be like the dramas or the movies.

I think one of the best resources in getting love lines and understanding the other love partner is through love movies and dramas. Am not a big fan of taiwan drama (forgive me, but i really hate their acting skills) but im a huge fan of english romance movies for example like i just watched last night, In Holiday by Jude Law, Cameron Diaz, Jack 'Tenacious' Black and Kate Winslet. If you watch them properly you will tend to see how flirting and dating could be so effective in building up romance.

AS the conclusion, don't hope to watch any of these romantic movies and dramas with the expectation i too want to have that kind of 'love' and ending. Don't just focus the bigger picture. Look at the details and process, then perhaps there is a higher chance that probably, you will end up in the same shoes as the actor and actress. Come to think of it, why there are couples out there too, confess that romantic movie have bring them together and strengthen their relationship even stronger? Because i believe they are looking for the essence provided in the movies.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jun 30 2008, 03:56 PM

HAHA, SO TRUE

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Added on June 28, 2008, 12:57 pmdrama and fairytales are so true!
the man is always so good in his life( eg: the prince Handsome, nice, dominant, charming)
And the girl is always so prefect (eg: pretty, kind, good hearted)

i dont see anything fake in it.
they look perfect together.
when they look perfect together, they wil feel perfect together ,and they wil be perfect together.

This post has been edited by raindrops: Jun 28 2008, 12:57 PM

so you mean, average guys shouldn't go for beautiful girl ?, instead they should target the people within thier range ?

No, what im saying is that beauty/attractiveness lies in the eyes of the beholder.

but that said,

generally, socially dominant guys and proportionate girls are considered attractive/beautiful/desirable.


Then there is also the possibility that:

You may see the next guy whom you consider average going out with a girl you consider beautiful. Yet, you dont see the qualities in that "average" guy that the beautiful girl sees. Yes, girls judge guys on levels that go far beyond what i intend this thread to lead. A deeper discussion on this is at my other more long winded thread: http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/623201



Also,

There is no such thing as being definitely unattractive or attractive. It's not black and white. People are a shade of grey.

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Added on June 28, 2008, 1:56 pmultimately, only you know where your standard lies.

If you think you can go after the really attractive girls, then go for it. WHo knows, maybe you stand a chance? Never know till you try right.

I believe that a majority of guys will have to lower their standard until they are comfortable. Just like a majority of girls will realize that they are not going to get the rich/handsome/socially_dominant prince charming of their dreams and will have to settle for less.

This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jun 28 2008, 01:56 PM

with that said, if every guys go for average girls and not beautiful girl, even the beautiful girl will lower thier standard too rite ?

theoretically yes.

Though i've never come across a pretty girl without any decently attractive guy going after her.

or a handsome, charming, and dominant guy without any pretty girls trying to attract him.

My point exactly..

but dont you think those sound-perfect people... like good looking, caring, charming, nice... they are only for DISPLAY? somehow i think that those perfect-like people are better to stay away from them before you get hurt...

it's either they are so high in demand that you have too many competitors out there... or this person he himself knows that he is so good that he will probably be ego and not treat you good...

Dude you should get an award for this. hahahahahaha

The reason why you think that way could be because you don't think highly of yourself. In other words, you are insecure, because you think you can't match your own qualifications against the qualifications of the "perfect person".

hmmm... i doubt there are a lot of people here think highly of themselves... if so there wont be so many people complaining about CANT GET LOVER...

That even show how true when spanker say you're insecure. The above shows how you actually doesn't think highly of yourself indirectly. I don't know how do you derived most of us here do not think highly of ourselves but i do know you're just making a faulty assumption. I think the one that think highly of themselves is the one that answers confidently in this forum and definitely spotted easily the one that do not think highly of themselves.

Don't get me wrong here. I do hope you should understand that there are people out there are gifted with looks and characteristics that many are looking forward to 'purchase' but what you didn't realize each of us are actually gifted in a way, if we opened our eyes wider. Besides, there are things that what we don't have on ourselves, we have to work our arse off to get it for example, style and prosperity. Being charming, handsome and nice is a plus for any woman because is part of attraction towards the woman, but i don't think so its right to generalize them as for display because same goes for woman that we guys are after. Are there for displays? No, rather than to generalize them like that, we humans actually look MORE from what others can give, simply say, that blaming them for their 'gifts' doesn't necessarily solves issues in relationship. You don't just derive a handsome and caring guy as a hard-to-maintain type of guy because it shows your inability to handle these type of 'people'. Show your confidence instead of fear because fear will only lead you towards the pit of sadness. Besides there are many more factors (direct and indirect approach) that contributes to why people fail in relationship and also can't get their lovers on demand. Have you ever seen a handsome and a desperado guy and a beautiful and mind-control freak? I do, and definitely they aren't 'attractive' to me.



I dunno where you get it, but people have their problems to solve and some sought advices here and some are lucky to get a decent advice. Stating how a person can't get lover, well...all i can say its very demeaning for you to tell these type of people that they can't achieve what others want to have. Well, i do hope you try to be a little bit less judgmental as others too want a good love life, so do you. The only difference is that not all of us here can make 'right' choices every single time, as always we human still have flaws in choosing options in our entire life.

i think you are one of those "below average"

be confident of urself in watever u do ...
dont beg over things that isnt urs........

ok... it's me then... i am insecured... =(

Don't worry little honey, i think one day you will be secure, aight.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jun 30 2008, 04:24 PM

i think you posting "I am insecured... [/B]=([" and you expect ppl to reply you:" No la, you are pretty, everybody is pretty, and beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, nobody can see your beauty like ur love ones, everybody is the same, we are all pretty the same way."

BUT HECK, if u say u are insecure, then u are insecure.
WTH cares, from ur posts, i think u seriously the "Below average"

har... you guys were the one who told me that i am insecured... and now i am admitting that i am insecured... also wrong ar? wtf man?

then what should i say?

no lar, i am not insecured blablablabla...?

He is of course the white ranger aren't you white drops? Haha......

just feeel like insulting ppl for the heck of it

that is where you is pathetic.

hmm from personal experience all this sounds like just talk ya know , When I hang out at KLCC or BUKIT BINTANG , There are other things besides confidence that you need to pull those women !

whatever it is... and i dont need you to tell me, i am sure that i am not below average... it must be your eyes problem, go have them checked! just that at the same time, there are also too many people better than above average...

I think attractive people (both boys and girls) simply have more options. This can be a bad thing (eg. Britney Spears). But it's better to have options than to not have them.

Try telling the ugly disproportionate girl who never had an admirer or a guy to take her out that beauty isnt everything.

Try telling the shy weak guy who never had any girls give him so much as an extra second of eye contact that social dominance (/power/money) isn't important.

^They'll hate you.


We all want the most (culturally/socially compatible and) attractive partner we can get. Let's not kid ourself or give ourselves excuses as to why they are out of our reach.

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Added on June 30, 2008, 11:41 pmEveryone does different things to make themselves happy.

Hedonists indulge in worldly posessions.

Spiritualists pray and tell themselves smugly that they are morally superior to others.


but you:


...it's like you've reached a point in your life where you insult people to feel good about yourself?



That's kinda low dude...

This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jun 30 2008, 11:41 PM

great post !! it has now made me wonder where are all the good men gone.....LOL

Then you should be dead already.

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Added on July 1, 2008, 8:10 amSo what??

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Jul 1 2008, 08:10 AM

hmmm... i dont know... maybe i have met those prince charming and everyone loves them and i just cant stand it... or maybe i was just so unlucky that i met all BAD princes... they dont really care about you because they know they have MORE THAN ENOUGH out there...

what my point is... they are only good to see, good to touch, but they wont belong to you forever...

or maybe AGAIN it's just me, i want to OWN someone by myself, and not sharing with others... or everyday in mind thinking when will i lose him/her... that's scary... so i would rather stick to the one i think is GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME, but might not be enough for other people... and i can happily and safely have him... no stress no suspect...

and also... MAYBE i am insecured also MAYBE i am below average... but who cares, that's what i think...

Who r u to judge that? Do u meet her before? Even yes, u r nobody to say that.. everyone is unique n well no one is perfect too.. so dun judge other before judging urself.. think abt urself 1st..

i bet raindrops is as ugly as ever too. loser as well.lamers..

girls, i bet he has no attention from real life... and this is why he is here to INSULT people just to get attention... and see how we are all responding to him... awwww... he must be so happy now!! that someone actually NOTICES him...

OR maybe... he secretly admires me and he wants to get my attention... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH...

Zhar dou........



He might just suffer from break up ler...

itu dia punya pasal... who the fark cares...

i am no fault, i am only self defending...
先撩者贱

Doesn't gave him the rights to mock other people..

I would say Raindrops the man.
His point quite make sense actually.
Oh well, erica look at the post. Face the truth.
And yea, chill alright. Im definely not admiring you or trying
to get your attention.

then you must be just broke up...

i wonder how do your brains look like when you tend to BELIEVE what you think = the truth? or i guess you never know what's the DEFINITION if the TRUTH huh? need me to direct you to dictionary.com?

The Game states it all . I recommend u guys a movie '' the tao of steve'' , it opens my mind to the whole new adult world. lol

the truth is ntg is uncondition...including LOVE

love tend to make a person stupid sometimes

Go learn social dynamics and you'll improve your chances tremendously wif people and especially girls. I started my journey believing by this basic theory either, and it put me in a negative state of mind either. but I soon learn that this is the theory a guy who's didn't achieve much success wif girls and came up in order to be defensive. You should try to improve yourself, wear better clothes, built up network of frens, learn the proper dynamics to talk and attract girls to you. Better guys will manipulate all this findings to their advantage, not blame the world and nature and said the mothernature rule is unfair.

Here's the thing, if you have one of those guys, you don't have to be someone that 'craves' for attention from him. The more you ask 'approval' from them, the more 'condemn' you will get. Instead make him crave for you. If you're been giving attention to him constantly and yet not to you as well, trust me ericca, you will just asking for a 'break-up' in the future. To keep the attraction 'balance' there must be outflow and inflow. In this case, you must learn how to love him and also love yourself too. Its the simple and most profound concept to how to strengthen your love. Don't ask how you going to 'maintain' these type of person, instead ask yourself why?

If you're hoping to find someone really that is good enough for you, well its not that hard if you learn how to be good to yourself. Hey, trust me, sometimes even our partner now act like the person who isn't GOOD enough for us anyway. Sometimes. But, trust me...no complain or criticize, you will work it out just fine. Thats why, i do hope you don't criticize good looking people = good to see and touch. They are more than that. Remember humans have characterisitics and heart too. Instead of looks, try go look for what other package does they have instead of just looks. Looks can be deceiving but their intention is always clear.

Besides, if you can't maintain these type of people, it indirectly shows your incapability in choosing the 'right' person. But for what is right, everyone makes mistakes for future 'rights'.



To be honest, thats the sign or seed of possessiveness. I'm not saying you shouldn't be possessive but you should understand not to overly do it.


If you go in to a relationship with this kind of thinking, you will be inviting trouble somehow in the future. Ever ask yourself what if things turn 180 degree? Will you just question or ask yourself 'I thought, no stress no suspect?' Trust me, don't say such things which could bring trouble to you though you didn't mean it.

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Added on July 1, 2008, 2:07 pmThere is this saying its either you look at the bottle and say half full or half empty.

Well, to me love makes a person blossom.

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Added on July 1, 2008, 2:10 pmThe game states it all? Haha....you're just a quarter away young fella.

You haven't read other books yet and trust me, there are books out there can fried neil strauss the game. Don't just look at malaysia for example. Go sg or other countries. Trust me, neil strauss is just part of the competition. Maybe a little piece.

Just for romance and how to attract. I've got 5 books.

Maintain relationship, 15 books.

Stop divorce 3 books.

After reading all, Neil Strauss is just a complimentary part in my collection.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 02:10 PM

No offense but to me, it is unfair..

Is it really worth investing on it?

No...what he says its the truth. Why blame outside if you can't look inside of you? Its easier to blame external factors then to blame whats wrong with you. You should have understand, that you have the power to make choices just like anyone else. Why someone could do better, its because they chose what's best for them. Ask yourself, if you blame the surrounding factors for example, friends, families, and societies 'prejudice', to what extent can you 'improve' yourself especially your perception?

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Added on July 1, 2008, 2:28 pmBecause i'm rich thats why. Haha.....

Is it worth it? Oh yes, no doubt about it. It enhances every part of me especially my perception of love.

Not only that, i still haven't tell how many more self motivating books at my cabinet.

For example, Masters of my dream. Love on Demand. the Secrets. Art of Personal Magnetism. How to get what you want and many more.

And the one that i really want to get is 'The deliberate thinker or secrets' - Its about how a single man transform businessmen into millionaire with just thinking skills. I'm amazed by his teachings and im looking forward to purchase it, but it will costs me a bomb. But its worth it.

why do i do i buy all these? Well, more than 5 years ago, am just like like the opposite of what i am now and i hated my situation. So i decided to change, and to first start by changing my thinking. Thus here is where I am now, a resolution to my old self. Nothing is sweeter than to escape what's 'bad' for yourself isn't it.

A philanthropist is what i want to be.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 02:32 PM

yea i get what you mean seriously, i think it's just something in my mind that i cant get out of it... maybe again back to the starting point, i have no confident that i can keep such a person... and also knowing myself a very jealousy person, i dont think that i can deal with those...

i am actually trying to work out on my criticism... HAHAHHAHAHAH...

Couldnt have said it better myself.
I've said this many times.


If the girl you like doesnt seem to like you:

1) go to the gym
2) build social network
3) try again few months later.

but dont you think sometimes when one doesnt like you then it's the FEEL and not anything that you can change?

Alright, but its ok. I believe now you should be more confident that before as you are in a relationship now. So be really 'excite' about it. Feel the electricity babe. Haha..

About criticism, do note that criticism is like a horning pigeon. It always comes home. You will get what i mean here. More likely, criticism will only hurt yourself and the other. If others criticize, let them be. Its better to stop a negative argument rather than to start a war, isn't it? If you just stop criticize and be more attentive and appreciates what others can give, you will tend to get better things in life. I've used to criticize alot, hell yeah it makes me felt more superior but more likely people will tend to go 'away' from me. I dont want that. So i do hope you understand the nature of criticism. It condemns people more than actually realizing what they don't understand from you.

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Added on July 1, 2008, 3:00 pmHaha, FEELINGS do change, so its up to the person to change the direction or the magnitude of the feelings. Be creative somehow.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 09:34 PM

EXACTLY!! but i only think that way when i am not in the middle of arguments... HAHAHHA... when it comes to arguments i tend to forget... i always tell myself "let them win" but then again i just think that letting them win makes me look dumb... argghhh... so difficult... =P

hmmm... i am always confident and i am always in a relationship, either formal or informal... just that there are too many BAD influences out there...

somehow i believe, we should just settle with one that we are COMFORTABLE with, that's it, not the best... but the most comfortabe... in other words... i still prefer the AVERAGE ones... anything extreme is not good...

Now arguing, doesn't necessarily means either one must win or lose. It is actually about sharing the ideas that both conveys. If you're going in an argument with a competitive mindset, then you're mostly waiting to get another big argument on your way. Besides, can you prove yourself 100% right? Sometimes there are things that right or wrong isn't the answer. The only way to convince another through an argument is through Persuasion and Listening. Learn how to understand, then also know when you should Lead the Arguments. If you say, alright let him win, then next time let you win? Its that give and take in relationship? No, thats more like putting a mini time bomb in the relationship. Its not like that. Go with the mindset of sharing. If you disagree, let him finish his talk, then from there you Lead. And don't criticize. Its hard to don't criticize as others disagree, even me can't control me self sometimes. Haha, but it takes incredibly lots of patience and im still learning it but im way better compre to myself last time.



Anything extreme is good because it could shows the sign of 'giving' but anything extreme which is 'bad', now thats not good. Do you want extreme pollution for example?

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 09:32 PM

Life is unfair, so what? Are you going to sit around b****ing about it? or are you actually going to do something about it? You can look at all your negative aspects, and think that you were just born unlucky, and life is unfair. Then you look at other people and think "he's lucky he's tall/rich/handsome/etc" must be getting everything he wants. What you fail to realise is that person may have it worse than you, but he knows how to overcome it.

Every negative aspect you can think of, has a positive side to it, you just have to know how to look at it. Unfairness is relative, and any hardship is merely an obstacle. A step you have to take to become a better person. Stay at the bottom and weep, whine and cry all you want. The rest of us will just climb wall after wall and become better, and thus opening up opportunities that you will never have because you're stuck at the bottom.

haha, ask yourself, what is this "feel"? If you think its something that just happens, you're naive. That "feel" can easily be manipulated by people who know how to manipulate it.

I think there's a thread about it somewhere in here, you gotta search for it.
And the answers seems abit related to girls. xD
Anyway, I support raindrops & silverhawk. Go boiz!

yeah

so basically,it's better being a guy than a girl

you can improve your social skills and whatnot if you're a guy and can go through a makeover and be attractive

but for a girl,,,what you get is literally...what you get.you're either ugly or pretty,unless you can hypnotize the guy into believing you are pretty than only you can improve your attractive value.but other than that,,very limited chance to improve.too bad.

hahaha.... dont let ur mom or sisters or watever females see this...
u sure kena whack i tell you...

Any good improvement on a guy, is also a good improvement on a girl. Both want to look good, both need social skills. I'm sorry, but no matter how pretty a girl is, if she can't hold up a decent conversation, its a total turn off. There are so many aspects people can improve on to become better, it doesn't matter what gender the person is.

juz improve urself and dont stand there doing nothing but rant rant and rant.....it helps u nothing...

i know... but like you said it's hard to be so rational at times... HAHHAHA... alright, CONTROL!! grrr... so hard!!

HAHA... because it always happens on me... when i think that HEY I HAVE FEELINGS, then after 1 week, the excitement gone... then i would just leave... or perhaps, i would say... excitement?

hmmmmmmmmm... but then i dont like it when people like me for my looks, as i think that's too shallow... i rather people like me for other things... even better if they can turn some bad points into good points... for example, i am stubborn, but maybe to someone it will think that i am confident enough and i believe in myself... and i agree LOOKS can attract people... but when to LIKE, it should go beyong the looks... like the looks attract you to pay more attention to this someone, then you start to explore more about him/her beside the looks...

Dude, you're so wrong with this.
You dunno how far a make up and enviroment can change the way a person looks. This is for the physical appearance though.
And there are also other aspects such as personality and such, so basically there are still rooms for girls to improve.
We're in the futuristic world, where some ppl can opt for surgeries to improve on their looks.

So don't be so negative.

This post has been edited by Vengeance_Mad: Jul 1 2008, 04:09 PM

[quote=eRiCCa,Jul 1 2008, 03:59 PM]
i know... but like you said it's hard to be so rational at times... HAHHAHA... alright, CONTROL!! grrr... so hard!!
HAHA... because it always happens on me... when i think that HEY I HAVE FEELINGS, then after 1 week, the excitement gone... then i would just leave... or perhaps, i would say... excitement?

Because youre below average.
So all the guys that you met is below average as well and they are not pro
enough to manipulate your so called excitement.

Haiyya again when I said something it'll always backfire to me. I'm not saying what I've said in a way to commit suicide lor. It's just a matter and figure of speech that life wasn't fair TO MOST people. I do realised that fact and act accordingly, do whatever I can to make my life meaningful at least. I don't just sit around let Fate pre-ordained my life's ending.



This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Jul 1 2008, 04:43 PM

Hmm.. Raindrops vanished, Rox appeared. Both with same lame attitude, same pathetic tricks to get attention. Moderators could you checked their IP's whatever you can do to find the truth about this Rox guy?

oh i bet you didnt turn on your "attention-seekers-sensor" huh... that's why...