How sad so there is no true/real love after all, its all conditioned love
I have been cheated by dramas and fairy tale stories


good post neverheless
but a lil bit generalized

What happened in dramas is total fairy tales that misleads most of the people from the hard truth. Hollywood, Korean even Malaysian movie makers should be blamed for this..

Yes yes yes you're right

So ezralim has burst a bubble, there is no true love any more

True love still exists, I believe. But only few lucky people will have the luxury for it (e.g love at first sight etc..etc..). Many will just have to "settled" with what he/she can get. Some might not getting any at all, no matter how low their expectation is. This might sounds too harsh but hey, I know them first hand..

that's a pretty harsh conclusion to make.


It takes two people to tango before there is love.

Yet people only tango with other people who are up to their expectations.

Everyone likes to thiink they can have high expectations.



Love blossoms when you spend enough time with someone you are attracted to (and is attracted to you).

The key is time. Quality time. Not time with a group of friends. Time alone together. Over a nice meal. Long walks on the beach (cliche leh...).


Unattractive people (this applies to both guys and girls) have difficulty finding someone decently attractive (by their standards) who is also attractted to them...

Love still blossoms though. They eventually learn to lower their standards and end up spending time with a less-than-ideal, but still acceptable person of the opposite sex. Spend enough time and they get used to each other, and love blooms.

Love isnt really blind. But they know that they have to be blind towards the really attractive people of the opposite sex (as they dont stand much of a chance) and appreciate the person who is willing to go out with them.

Words of wisdom.

This post has been edited by igor_is300: Jun 28 2008, 12:06 AM

But imo if u lower your standard, it isnt still what u wanted?

I fail at lovey dovey stuff anyway
*hungs head in shame*

why am i the only one think this thread shouldn't be pinned, lulz

why ? because beautiful girl deosn't necessary end up with dominant guy, so does dominant guy vice versa lulz even in general too, cheers

Note the word "usually" in the article. (now bolded and italisized)

Also see Caveat #2.

If you want to make movie or dramas 'successful', you gotta have 'something' that could have touched the heart of the 'audience'. I don't think so it misled, it misled only to your perception. There are really romance movies out there that helps people to achieve their 'best' in their love life and it depends on how you look at the situation. If you're going in with the expectation and crossing fingers hoping that the 'actress' in your love-life is going to be like the one in the drama, know that its no difference than fapping.

Here's the thing, if you were to ask me, i do not care about the ending of romantic movies but i like the ongoing process of the romance happened. The flirting lines, the gestures, the romance 'body-language', the 'stare', the smile and especially the actor's confidence. These are thing that really what people should look for, the essence of romance. Not deriving a conclusion, that we should or could also have a love life like both actor and actress in the movie. Of course it will misled if things didn't turn out to be like the dramas or the movies.

I think one of the best resources in getting love lines and understanding the other love partner is through love movies and dramas. Am not a big fan of taiwan drama (forgive me, but i really hate their acting skills) but im a huge fan of english romance movies for example like i just watched last night, In Holiday by Jude Law, Cameron Diaz, Jack 'Tenacious' Black and Kate Winslet. If you watch them properly you will tend to see how flirting and dating could be so effective in building up romance.

AS the conclusion, don't hope to watch any of these romantic movies and dramas with the expectation i too want to have that kind of 'love' and ending. Don't just focus the bigger picture. Look at the details and process, then perhaps there is a higher chance that probably, you will end up in the same shoes as the actor and actress. Come to think of it, why there are couples out there too, confess that romantic movie have bring them together and strengthen their relationship even stronger? Because i believe they are looking for the essence provided in the movies.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jun 30 2008, 03:56 PM

HAHA, SO TRUE

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Added on June 28, 2008, 12:57 pmdrama and fairytales are so true!
the man is always so good in his life( eg: the prince Handsome, nice, dominant, charming)
And the girl is always so prefect (eg: pretty, kind, good hearted)

i dont see anything fake in it.
they look perfect together.
when they look perfect together, they wil feel perfect together ,and they wil be perfect together.

This post has been edited by raindrops: Jun 28 2008, 12:57 PM

so you mean, average guys shouldn't go for beautiful girl ?, instead they should target the people within thier range ?

No, what im saying is that beauty/attractiveness lies in the eyes of the beholder.

but that said,

generally, socially dominant guys and proportionate girls are considered attractive/beautiful/desirable.


Then there is also the possibility that:

You may see the next guy whom you consider average going out with a girl you consider beautiful. Yet, you dont see the qualities in that "average" guy that the beautiful girl sees. Yes, girls judge guys on levels that go far beyond what i intend this thread to lead. A deeper discussion on this is at my other more long winded thread: http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/623201



Also,

There is no such thing as being definitely unattractive or attractive. It's not black and white. People are a shade of grey.

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Added on June 28, 2008, 1:56 pmultimately, only you know where your standard lies.

If you think you can go after the really attractive girls, then go for it. WHo knows, maybe you stand a chance? Never know till you try right.

I believe that a majority of guys will have to lower their standard until they are comfortable. Just like a majority of girls will realize that they are not going to get the rich/handsome/socially_dominant prince charming of their dreams and will have to settle for less.

This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jun 28 2008, 01:56 PM

with that said, if every guys go for average girls and not beautiful girl, even the beautiful girl will lower thier standard too rite ?

theoretically yes.

Though i've never come across a pretty girl without any decently attractive guy going after her.

or a handsome, charming, and dominant guy without any pretty girls trying to attract him.

My point exactly..

but dont you think those sound-perfect people... like good looking, caring, charming, nice... they are only for DISPLAY? somehow i think that those perfect-like people are better to stay away from them before you get hurt...

it's either they are so high in demand that you have too many competitors out there... or this person he himself knows that he is so good that he will probably be ego and not treat you good...

Dude you should get an award for this. hahahahahaha

The reason why you think that way could be because you don't think highly of yourself. In other words, you are insecure, because you think you can't match your own qualifications against the qualifications of the "perfect person".

hmmm... i doubt there are a lot of people here think highly of themselves... if so there wont be so many people complaining about CANT GET LOVER...

That even show how true when spanker say you're insecure. The above shows how you actually doesn't think highly of yourself indirectly. I don't know how do you derived most of us here do not think highly of ourselves but i do know you're just making a faulty assumption. I think the one that think highly of themselves is the one that answers confidently in this forum and definitely spotted easily the one that do not think highly of themselves.

Don't get me wrong here. I do hope you should understand that there are people out there are gifted with looks and characteristics that many are looking forward to 'purchase' but what you didn't realize each of us are actually gifted in a way, if we opened our eyes wider. Besides, there are things that what we don't have on ourselves, we have to work our arse off to get it for example, style and prosperity. Being charming, handsome and nice is a plus for any woman because is part of attraction towards the woman, but i don't think so its right to generalize them as for display because same goes for woman that we guys are after. Are there for displays? No, rather than to generalize them like that, we humans actually look MORE from what others can give, simply say, that blaming them for their 'gifts' doesn't necessarily solves issues in relationship. You don't just derive a handsome and caring guy as a hard-to-maintain type of guy because it shows your inability to handle these type of 'people'. Show your confidence instead of fear because fear will only lead you towards the pit of sadness. Besides there are many more factors (direct and indirect approach) that contributes to why people fail in relationship and also can't get their lovers on demand. Have you ever seen a handsome and a desperado guy and a beautiful and mind-control freak? I do, and definitely they aren't 'attractive' to me.



I dunno where you get it, but people have their problems to solve and some sought advices here and some are lucky to get a decent advice. Stating how a person can't get lover, well...all i can say its very demeaning for you to tell these type of people that they can't achieve what others want to have. Well, i do hope you try to be a little bit less judgmental as others too want a good love life, so do you. The only difference is that not all of us here can make 'right' choices every single time, as always we human still have flaws in choosing options in our entire life.