Wow... tall order... you might need to give up on some of the regular drugstore products. Try these:

Redken Men Finishing Cream

Redken Outshine 01 Anti-Frizz polishing cream

I takes it being a guy you don't want to fuss with your hair much like blowdrying and all that so these are decent. I've been using Redken for regular haircare and styling and they have always been producing good results for me especially with me being lazy about the blowdrying and the hair treatments and the works. Almost idiot proof

You can test some when you next walk past a SASA or a SHIN. SHIN would be more ideal because they usually stock the full range and have testers for you. If you live around SS2 they have K-care which also stocks Redken and sometimes at a cheaper price depending on the promo.
Remember to post the results so we know if it works or not!