TS, when you shift, you're leaving ur son there?
don't!!!!
move on! but bring him along
but if really cannot den you should just move on urself.
dont let urself continue being tortured like this
have faith

he abuse you, so leave him.

he's not fit to be a father, so take your child with you

end of story!


very simple but hard to do


good luck, dear

Hey there...

I got married at 16... and had my first baby when I was 16 too.. hehe
Yeap I got pregnant when I was still studying..
My husband (his nick is MSA in LYN) and I.. we love each other a lot...
After we found out that I've got pregnant.. we sat down and talked about it.. whether we want to spend our lives together or not...
We cried, we sweat, I cried the most I think... we knew that we have to be together...
Then we decided to tell our parents about it.. and again we had to sit down and talk about it with them...which was really hard.
They did asked us whether we want to get married or stay separately..move on with our lives.. whether we're committed and really love each other..
We said yes and here we are still going strong.. this July would be our 7th anniversary dy...
We have two boys and a girl.. we put our children before us.. we communicate and we tell each other that we love each other every day..
Got to have the patience and tolerance in a relationship...
We still have the ups and downs but we have survived the earlier problems.. there are more to come.. but I know it'll be easier if we go through it together...

Sometimes you two have to be committed in doing something then only can have a perfect marriage..
If only one side is doing the loving in the relationship then it's not worth it at all...
If you are not ready then don't bother getting married first.. it'll hurt both of you, your families and the innocent kids as well..

You can visit my blog at My Blog

You can PM me if you need any advice...

bubucai im a failure. icypetals i dont work and i dont earn money. he works as banker.

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Added on June 5, 2008, 4:43 pmdear elena.. its good u found yr mr.right but if u got someone like mine u wont be saying this. i talked before but nothing happened. how am i supose to do? i love him so much but seems like im the only one that clapping hands now.. one hand cannot make sound.. rite?

map easy to say hard to do... thanks!

alexandra i cant bring him down to KL wif me. its too burden plus i don hav time to take care of him as im working whole day. i just can leave to god for this as im leaving him with his daddy.

we look like a happy family. we try before for 2nd baby but then nothing work out. we talked but seems like i talk the most. he prefer to ignore me. or shud i say he is bored of me... i dont giv a damn anymore..

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Added on June 5, 2008, 4:44 pmim lying to myself when i told everyone im happy... instead of happy i cry whenever im sad... do u tink all tis gonna work out? im losing my faith in him already...

This post has been edited by JyEn: Jun 5 2008, 04:44 PM

wah u cannot put it this way.
don't tell me married women with the extra weight will get divorced or dumped by their husband just because they're being fat...
sometimes it's not that they want to put on the extra kilos'.. it's their body. they can't help it..
what if they're body is built to that size.. you can't force her to slimmed down...
don't tell me you want to put her thru' surgery so that she can look perfect for you..

then you want to blame on the wife because she is fat that caused the men/husband to wander off..
why not blame the men/husband instead for not giving the encouragement to stand by the wife and go through the process with her?
if every wife is born to pleased they're husband... then she's not a wife anymore. she's a robot..

woah elena.. very proud of u.. but im not proud of myself.. its been almost 2 years.. i still cant get my tummy fat off... damn... failure!

i'm still have tummy fats ar.. hehe
but it's okay.. my hubby says it's okay...
it represents that i had carried a child before.. it's like a memory you know?
it's not like i wanna do modeling or anything.. no pressure to take it off right away..you know?
you got to be happy yourself first.. then only you can let someone else in your life..
i've got 3 kids.. my tummy have stretched 3 times more.. haha
got stretch marks.. still using oils and lotions...
can't wear bikini.. but as long you have the confidence.. anything can be done...

it's your life mer..

u say very easy coz yr hubby doesnt care much yr figure.. n u maintain it.. im slim before but once pregnant everything is worst.. then whenever im out of the bath room he will tell my son ' see the cow is coming' or else 'see yr mom breast like cow breast' duh.. im so hurt u know.. then sometimes he look at me and making 'the look' like im so disgusting... sometimes he say ' u wan me to fark u den u slim down like the model then i fark u everyday' damn it... hurt.. so hurt..

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Added on June 5, 2008, 5:29 pmsorry for bad words but that is what he said to me.. sorry guys!

This post has been edited by JyEn: Jun 5 2008, 05:29 PM

ei, why wan burn down the tummy fat. Quite a number of guys out there like their partner to have a small tummy fat including myself.
Can bite my galgal tummy fat.

say liao lo.. u all talk very easy.. but then its not what im goin thru now... damn it...

Sorry if I offended you.

i was slim too.. only 41kg last time.. now also boom boom dy.. haha

then you shouldn't be sorry for yourself but him...
if a man speak to me in that way i would have left him ages..
you know what kind of person he is.. the words he uses.. he won't be a good father either..
come on.. you are big enough.. just leave him..
you could seek guidance elsewhere.. not here
this isn't the right place..

all these self pity is useless, unless you get out of this yourself..
you don't owe him anything..
if you ask us for advice.. there's nothing you can gain from here.. unless you make the move yourself..
if you know the relationship isn't moving on then you should leave..it's not your fault anyway..

zenox no problem.. im just moody nia.. not yr fault dont worry

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Added on June 5, 2008, 5:38 pmu know i donwan to move.. for the sake of my son i donwan him to hav broken family.. i really wan him to be happy.. ppl say i don happy nvm.. as long my loved one that is my son is happy then im happy too... all i can do is try to fix it... but one hand really cant clap... im collapsing..

This post has been edited by JyEn: Jun 5 2008, 05:38 PM

Period? Nah just kidding.
About the broken family. I have a, em better said close relative who cases same as you. She ended up bringing up her son single-handed and her son now graduated and work as an engineer. What I'm trying to say is, your son wouldn't feel happy either if he know he don't have a responsible father and he might ended like my close-relative-son if he know he have a good and caring mother. Move on. Cheer.

zenox im only 20 to be 21. i still need time and help. separating with him will be a hurt to my family. and myself. As everyone also will say Love is blind.. then im blind enuf now..

yeah i agree with you..
how would you know, right?
maybe you and and your son will be fine with just you alone looking after him..
it would be even more sad for your son to have an absent father..
your son will understand... he just too little to know about it now...

This post has been edited by elena_k: Jun 5 2008, 05:49 PM

My close-relative was only 18! and she moved to JB all by herself without knowing anyone at JB. She rent a house, find a job and that it.
Again, its up to you. Its your choice.

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Added on June 5, 2008, 5:50 pmExactly.

This post has been edited by zenox0123: Jun 5 2008, 05:50 PM

hmmm... im thinking of leaving him.. but i just need time.. sometimes he make me think he is worth it but all the time he just hurt me... i need to be patience until i get my dog grooming cert and open my own bussiness by next year. then i will think bout leaving him or not. because that time im grown up over 21 and also im independant!!

if your family really love you then they'll understand too...
who's the one getting hurt now? even later you will be the one who gets hurt the most..
why not stop now then to endure it... like you said.. you're still young..
you still have a way out..

as i ad say just now... what u guys think?