it is going to be two months after the break up. eventually i do not know the reason for break up too. we sort of had an argument due to a date for us and there came the break up. we still hang out together as usual, we went for dinner and movies but i do not know how to explain this. i could still feel his feelings on me from the way he looks at me and so on yet at the same time i can feel he is hiding something from me. i am very sure there is no third party involved, even it does, it will only be his parents.

am i thinking too much? until today i sometimes feel it as we have not break up yet because we talk everyday and hang out as usual but i know that we are not that close anymore. i know, i need to get over it.

i can understand how do you feel after betrayed by loved one. but is there a need to have hatred with the one you loved before? somehow, that is her problem isn't it? try to let go of all feelings, inclusive of the hatred and anger. i am sure you can get a better one.

like i've said, when we hang out and talk, it is just the same like we were together, the difference will be we no longer hold hands, no more kissing and hugging those. i'm giving each other sometime to hang back. especially after he came to look for me yesterday, i've decided to just be invisible for the moment. it is not i can not face him or any trick that i am playing. i believe we both need a break from each other. i was there all the while for him and i think sometime he feels "fan" because of that too. now, i do not know if he is really still loves me or may be no more but i do not want to anything that makes him feels i am no good.

jealousy is something really dangerous. i used to be very sensitive because of the insecurity feelings, at the end i did some mistakes. this is the second day i totally block him off from my life. i do not contact him at all even though i know i have a chance to do so. i am trying to make my life as beautiful as i can. i do wonder, if a guy will fall in love with the ex again or not? guys here, can you share your experience with me?

Dremax, i know which book is that, i love that book too. it is so true that time can not be given but can be shared.

i do not know if he is given the right timing and chances, i actually quite confused now with him already. i do not know if he still has the feelings with me anymore or not even though i feel he has.

deep down in my heart, honestly i wish we will get back together. this is the first time i feel so weak in relationship. i never been like this at all. i tried to block him for two days, tried to hold back from keeping in touch but at the end i failed because of a parcel. we had some good talk on the phone, not very long but at least a not so unhappy one, at least he sounded happy. i do not know if i should really block him or not. sometimes i hope to be there for him but sometimes i hope to get off from there. what is in my mind? i really do not have any idea about it. i am trying, i am trying to find out what do i really want but it is hard.

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Added on November 24, 2009, 11:59 pmyes i am a big fan of cecilia, that is the reason why i know the book when i saw that sentence.

This post has been edited by wInnIe PoOh: Nov 24 2009, 11:59 PM

this is the story. we were talking over on the issue about to meet up or not on that night for dinner. as the earlier plan we were supposed to meet and i do have some surprises for him too. eventually the discussion did not went well so we had some arguments. there were no phone conversations involved but only msn and sms. at the end he got angry and suggested just break up. at that time, we talked about the break up. we were having quite many arguments throughout the relationship, at the end we quite tired of it and furthermore i forgotten he was getting the pressure from his parents whom did not agreed on the relationship. so we sort of like, break up in a very good way. he told me that he is not good for me and i deserve a better one.

all the while we still keep in touch very well, and hang out as like normal but we never let our parents know about it. in fact he does not tell anyone about it until today. we talked about the patch back before but there was no answer. he told me he wants to enjoy to be single now and he does not want to see anyone else at the moment. it is quite confusing i think because i also do not know how to explain it.

i am leaving him as he is for now, but i do not understand what do you mean by do not push him? i do not actually want to push him. eventually i know what mistakes i make last time in the relationship but i know both of us also need osme time to realize and also find out how we have progress and improve from the mistakes.

what do you mean by what both of us have not over with what we want to do?

i hope miracles happen too

yes, i took note on that so i do not call him or disturb him that often anymore. he knows i still care about him but i do not want him to get the pressured again. i think this is not that hurt compare to earlier and other issues. i do not know if he wants to continue or continue or not but i also can not do much.

in the past few days, i thought i can forget about him and not to contact him but somehow we had some phone conversations and as well chatting over the net. i started to do a lot of thinking if there is a way for us to patch back or may be there is no such thing call patch back.

until not too long ago, i started to wonder what do i really want. i am quite stubborn in this issue, i can see myself willingly to sacrifice everything for him without hoping anything in return. i used to do that but i do not know if it is alright for me to do so. after all i told myself, please let go and no more being a stubborn girl. i do not want to kill myself by being such an idiot in life.

i can not deny the feelings for him is still strong but i can not always make myself so unhappy. i do not know what can i do to save this relationship again or may be it is impossible to be saved but i know i can learn to let go. i do not drop any tears anymore whenever i think of that, is that a good start? i hope i can learn to be a better person, for myself.

i hope so, i think i am just paying more attention to other things in my life now, especially my career. i used to strive very high and also i lost a lot of chances after being together with him. now i do feel happy when i think i am finally back to myself.

thank you for your compliment. eventually i do give people one kind of impression of being strong. may be it was due to my experiences in life but overall i do have times when i feel like crying and needed a shoulder to lean on. i will not deny the fact that i cried badly over him but i know that would be the past. i know a lot of things in life are depending on how we want to take it. no doubt i tried to do a lot of things hoping to patch back the relationship but i think i have to thanks to the cruel fact which woke me up from the dream again, it is ended since the day we broke up. i do have my own reputation and as well my personalities, of course i do not want to be the annoying ex gf for him. furthermore, i need to carry myself well, just for myself. i believe, i deserve better.

thank you. i am now working hard to patch back the friendship with my friends. i lost a lot of friends after being together with him, after all i think it was not worth it for me to lost my lovely friends, because they are the only one who never hurt me at all throughout the years, and they are always there for me whenever i am down.

thank you debbieyss, i just want to get back to myself. after all the hurt and everything, i know it does not worth for all the tears, heartbreak and so on for someone who does not appreciate me. i am not to say he is bad, i know both of us make mistakes in the relationship. but even if wanting to patch back a relationship, it needs two person to work it out, i can not do it all alone.

yes, i just completely forget about him in these two days. i enjoyed my time with my friends and family. i do not bother if he was online, i do not care if he is able to wake up in the morning for work, i do not bother to find him at all. i told myself, i am not a bad girl, even though i will not say i am the perfect or good gf but i know what sort of quality i have in me. i am not playing any trick, i think i just deserve a break for myself and my heart. i just want to enjoy my time and ensure i strive high again in my career.

if he loves me, he knows where to find me; if he misses me, he knows how to get hold of me; if he wants to patch back, he knows what to do.

i think i just make it as simply as like it is for now.

thank you dremax, i am trying my best to do everything that i can. i am very happy in these few days with my friends around. i manage to make it until like, i do not even bother to look at my phone to try to sms him again. i do not even bother it anymore. finally, i feel i am just happy and i am setting some new goals for myself in year 2010.

i was like you too. i was very depressed, i washed my face with tears every night too. i even tried to commit suicide due to this. i did a lot of stupid things, i even lied to myself to make myself to be there for him, kept telling myself that he would be back but until i was so tired and cried until my tears are dried.

my dear, if you do not learn how to love yourself, who will ever care to love you? i do not lie to myself, i told him too that i love him very much and i do not deny any of my feelings. i think, i put it in a way which i choose to face everything instead of running away from it. i missed him, i told him. i loved him, i told him. when now im typing this, i do think of him but i do not think that i have the feeling want to talk to him at the moment, because i have my other work to do. i told myself that, i want to love myself first before i love anyone again. may be in the future i will not love any other guys as how i love him anymore but i can not say it for sure in the future, no matter what, i know the most important thing is, my own happiness.

thank you.

this is going to be the two months already. it was a really heartache because i thought we could make it for our future but since with the break up due to no reason, i already tried to stay and mingle around in the past for a month. now it is time for me to move on for my better future. some people may say i am selfish to think for myself only at this moment. it is not that i do not love him, i loved him much more than myself but my heart needs a break off from all the hurt too. i tried everything i can to save the relationship, but since it did not show any progress, i think i will just leave it be while i spend my time to upgrade myself to be a better person.

i laughed so happily with my friends, and now after i am back to my room alone, i am able to just focus at things that i want to do for myself instead of wondering if he would online, or mingle in the past anymore.

depression? no, i will not want to get depressed for anyone else anymore. i was stupid enough, i just want to learn to be smart to protect myself, and to love myself in the future. he does not worth for my tears at all. if we are meant to be together, we will be.

i think i am slighly better, because i do not miss him that much anymore. i thought i am that weak because i was in a very bad condition earlier, until i had no mood to work at all but then after all now i feel like a new start for me. i just feel i am a newly born baby and able to strive as high as i want now.

sometimes it is good to cry it all out then off to bed, but not everyday.
i have a lot of people in msn too but not many that i will chat with, in fact i can say there is none of my friends knows about my break up at all, i also could not imagine how i went through all that alone. i just chat with my friends, topics for me and my friends. sometimes we need a place to release out the sadness within us, but if we keep telling people the sad story, we are only keep reminding ourselves about it and it makes us to be sad.

i am just here to share my experience, this time i know i fell down badly in love because i do really love him that much but sadly it just does not work out. so for me the best will be just leave it as how it is. i hope you will be able to find your happiness too, i believe that if there is one person does not know how to appreciate you, there will be more than a person know how to appreciate you in the future, because everything in this world, has two sides.

thank you debbieyss, i just hope to learn a lesson in life and have a better future. it was a broken heart thing for me but without getting all the hurt, i will not know how can i get the recipe to cure it when i have a cut again

do not try, just do it. i believe it will be much better compare to just think only.

i do not know if i do really have very strong determination, but i think i just do not want to waste my time anymore. may be i already went deep down, i guess there is nothing for me to lose anymore other than my precious time in life. i am a stubborn person, i do not surrender and give up easily. i will always fight till i am completely lose but still i will find ways to get up to fight again.

yes, never make the same mistake twice. the last when i talked to him which about more than a week ago, i actually thank him for the time we spent together, and make me realize my mistakes. if he was lucky to be with me, then my future bf/husband will definitely be more lucky than him

i do not intend to say he is unlucky or dumb or stupid to lose me, but i will just want to make sure i will be a better person and my future partner will be much more lucky than him to have me. he is also a nice person but things just do not work out.

yes, when now think back, i found myself have no dignity at all while i lower down my pride and kept holding on but he does not appreciate it. i was ashamed on myself when i found myself lost myself for some one else but yet the person does not appreciate me. i sacrificed a lot, he knew about it too. when we were together, he knew what had i gone through and i just could not get up from the dream but continued in that. until after that, now when i think back, i do feel i was such an idiot because no matter what, we should not lose our pride and dignity.

as for future, i can not say for sure. if a day i meet him again, i will still treat him as a friend, i do not delete his msn and facebook, because i am all cool with it and i do not purposely keep it to hope for any patch back. i just leave it there as he is one of my friends.

yes, i read some of your posts and i think our case is pretty much similar. i think in our life, we will always be silly for someone no matter that person appreciate us or not.

i think so, things that come easily will not be appreciated, i think people tends to take things for granted, this is just the nature part of a human being. i do not want to make it so hard for the new candidates but i am now learn to take things slowly step by step. i just need to learn, how to protect myself before i want to commit myself into another relationship.

dear nlgoh, you can let go if you decide to. no one can teach you what to do or help you because it is all about you yourself. you can everyday lie to everyone or even yourself that you have already let go but if you do not be firm with it, you will never be able to let go.

i actually put a note on my table, it serves a purpose to remind myself not to contact him through internet. as for my phone, i purposely remove him from my speed dial, as well from the call list. i changed his name over the contact there, whenever i tried to search, i just remind myself that no and no and no. at first it was so difficult, but i took two days, until without any notes to remind myself anymore, i just do not do that anymore. no doubt i do still think of him sometimes but whenever i go to the places we been before, i just put a smile on face and let the bygone be bygone.

i tried to patch back, thought of giving us a try within a month time but in this 1 month time things did not went well so i just call it off and forget about it. i think it is about ourselves, for me i might sound very experienced and strong but seriously, this is the first time i find it so hard to let go at all. i could not and felt suicidal, now i think back, i am actually lucky that he gave me a great time in life, and i have learnt a lot of things. now i just tell myself, loving some one does not mean to be with the person. i do not place my happiness on anyone else anymore because it is on my hands for me to find out by myself.

my dear, i believe you can get over it soon. try to be positive. if a girl like me who cut on the wrist before, took in pills but could get over it, what makes you think that you can not?

i do not lie to myself when i said that. no doubt last time i did but i guess after all that happened, i have learnt to let go of things in many ways. so for me it will be, yes i love him, if can then we get together but if can not it is all fine with me. i used to be those wanted to work it out hard or even throw off my dignity also i will not mind but i find that i should not rely on anyone for my happiness. i also do not want to force myself or bend down for anyone anymore. loving someone is the feeling, able to be with the person or not is another thing. i separate it and trying my best to make sure myself have a better life.

i do not lie to myself. or may be i just do not bother anymore

we were together not many years, about a year. honestly, he did not tell me the reason for break up but after that he told me he felt tired and may be just think that we are not compatible at all.

at this point of time, i do not know if deep in my heart, am i laying any hope of patching back but i think i am really tired of all these.

i did not remove him from fb and msn, he knows my updates too but i am not too sure if he paid any attention to it or not. we had a short conversation the other day, he asked about me and i was very surprised with that, i just remained cool to end the conversation with him happily. i think, i just want to take everything slowly. there are guys after me too now but some of them really turn me off immediately with their pushie actions.