Nov 13 2018, 12:17 PM
QUOTE(StressZss @ Nov 13 2018, 12:01 PM)
I just broke up with my gf few months back and Im not sure if I did the right thing.
We both love each other but when during arguments it can turn ugly. She will always tell me how she always wanted to leave me when we argue, or telling me to find another girl if i am not financially ready or committed.
One thing to note is that she kept hinting me to propose to her as we are about that age to move into next stage of our life, but I am not even ready financially. So I did make my proposal to her but it were more towards her request.
Maybe its my fault as well for having a stagnant career and not improving my career aspect and she is climbing the hell of her career and making good money.
With her I feel we could get anything in life but I will not be in control in our relationship. I feel stress emotionally and I am not sexually satisfied as well.
She told me she invested her love towards me a lot and she really loves me but I don't feel it and I should regret that I am not feeling the loves she providing it to me.
Then again, I am not sure what I really want.
What are the relationship that we should look for?
It's really hard for a 3rd party to tell you what you you need or should look for. You'll know best based on times you're both together. We both love each other but when during arguments it can turn ugly. She will always tell me how she always wanted to leave me when we argue, or telling me to find another girl if i am not financially ready or committed.
One thing to note is that she kept hinting me to propose to her as we are about that age to move into next stage of our life, but I am not even ready financially. So I did make my proposal to her but it were more towards her request.
Maybe its my fault as well for having a stagnant career and not improving my career aspect and she is climbing the hell of her career and making good money.
With her I feel we could get anything in life but I will not be in control in our relationship. I feel stress emotionally and I am not sexually satisfied as well.
She told me she invested her love towards me a lot and she really loves me but I don't feel it and I should regret that I am not feeling the loves she providing it to me.
Then again, I am not sure what I really want.
What are the relationship that we should look for?
It boils down to proposal/ marriage and how she felt you're not ambitious enough in terms of career. However if you're not the aggressive "fighter" at work, you'll tend to me more comfortable with your status quo. There are people like that, and then there are those like her. I think that's why you two complement each other well - she appears to be more assertive while you don't mind tolerating/ giving way to her. If both of you are equally aggressive in the relationship, there will be a lot of clash and constant arguments.
End of the day, I think based on what you shared - it's about how the two of you lay down the expectations. Eg. You'll both save money and get married in x years of time, and you'll plan for a promotion by x year and if you don't get it, consider changing job for greener pasture etc. Just an example.
Most of the time it started with 1 of the partner getting frustrated because there were no clear plans or pre-laid down expectations and thus he/ she felt like it's just infinite wait for something to happen and when none, they get disappointed, angry. People like these is usually someone who always strive for better quality of life, progression etc so you'll need to learn how to manage the dynamics of your relationship.
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