- Scenario 3 - The killer combination
If the answer is 3, then please do seriously consider resigning.
There's no point in staying in a company that you're not
exactly in synch with. And having him there just adds more
oil to the fire. Do yourself a favor and look for another
opportunity elsewhere.

Either way, I'm the kinda person who'll never date my colleagues
due to myriads of reasons. One being your current situation.

So. Think hard if you're happy at your work place.
If you're capable, you'd be able to find employment opportunities
elsewhere. I'd encourage you to approach one of your superiors
regarding your concerns over work and see if they can do
anything to help your situation.

It's understandable that we cannot bring in private matters to
work. But at least you're being honest. If your employer is
open to dialogue, you should reconsider staying. But if they
aren't willing to even give you a lending ear, maybe you
can consider finding a better and more human boss.

- Scenario 2 - Stupid Ex
If your answer is just no.2, then.. if you still love being in the company,
do yourself a favour and just f*** him. You don't deserve to feel
like shit when he's in the roll for good feels just because he had
the upper leverage for being the one to initiate the breakup.

I know that it sucks to be broken up with. But if you wanna stay
in the company with him around, you have to really show that
his presence around you won't affect your performance, and
you are actually unfazed by his decision to leave you.

And in order to do that, you would have to really genuinely feel
that it was his lost for letting you go, and it suits him right to
be an "eligible bachelor" once again.

That takes time and willpower to do. If you want to do this, then
you've gotta first decide to do it. The first few weeks will be the
hardest. You'd feel like giving up all the time.

How hard it'd be depends on how much good intimate times
you've shared together. The less you have, the easier it is.
Same goes to advents of rage and distrust. If there are any
at all, you'll find that you'd be very apologetic at first.

But after your mind starts to flip, you realize that you're actually
not trying to get any of his approval anymore. You're just furious
that he took you so lightly after 3 years and decided to finally
tell you that "it's a waste of time being with you" to your face
by breaking up with you.

So give yourself some time and you'll grow stronger. After some
time passes, you'd start to notice that you really do care less,
and your genuine smile will return to your face.

Maybe then, you can consider redemption and scoring with
a really hot guy, just to make him feel like shit.
(I'm strongly against rebounds though. So do it if it feels
right for you. Do it not because you want him to feel jealous,
but because it really makes you feel fulfilled and happy. Him
being jealous should be a side effect, not a major outcome.)

- Scenario 1 - Shithouse Workplace
a. The bosses suck.
b. Your colleagues suck.
c. Your work environment sucks.
d. The work culture sucks.
e. The traffic sucks.
f. The hours suck.
g. Breaking up with your only close friend and colleague sucks.
g. The work generally sucks donkey balls.

If it's not at least 3 of the above, then... maybe you
don't hate your company enough to leave it just yet.

Find a way to have an open dialogue with your employer
and voice your concerns over why you don't feel happy
and fulfilled with what you do. (unless if it's by default
that your bosses are shitheads then...)

If they can help you sort it out, you should give your
workplace another chance. If they can't, then the choice
is yours to make. I personally think good bosses will
help you through parts of your personal growth while
being in the professional line of work.

They will try to help you with your concerns if they'd like you
to stay. If they don't, it's clearly that you're dispensable to them.

Nobody deserves to be treated like garbage. If you ever
feel like this in any way, then it'd be a good idea to follow
your intuition and never look back.

------

So you're gonna be left to pick up all the pieces of closure
on your own.

That's not exactly a bad thing. If he doesn't want you to be
part of his life anymore, don't really need to pressure him.
It's like employing a bad worker. Sometimes all you wanna
do is yell at him and make sure he knows how incompetent
he is, but the most sensible thing to do as a fellow imperfect
human being is to just lay him off peacefully.

Maybe that's what he thinks too, it's just that he doesn't want
to say it to you.

People who just broke up are really sensitive. Just leave him alone
for now. If you wanna meet him again to talk about anything at all,
then try again after a few years.

Doing it now will just create more misery for yourself.

But ask yourself this:
Do you want to meet up with him because
1. you want him to tell you what went wrong
and to seek forgiveness,
2. or to tell him how you feel?

If it's (1) then just wait a few years. You'll get your answer
when both sides are more cooled off. Don't have to rush it
when the wounds are all still fresh.

If it (2) then just write a letter to him that you know he'll
receive for sure. It'll help you ease up all those pent up
emotions within you.

If you want him back, then you gotta up your game and be the girl
he's always wanted you to be. I don't recommend this if you've been
suffocating trying to be the girl of his dreams all this while, but hey,
if you really love this guy, you'll be able to do it. I did it for my ex
when we got back together for the last time before we split up for
good. I'm sure you can too.

The trick is to keep asking yourself what went wrong all the time, and
keep acting on those answers. It's pretty hard to resist when the people
you like and are attracted to are just completely the way you like them
to be. So if you think you understand him enough, and you don't mind
being his type of woman, I don't see why not you shouldn't try.

Living on your own after separation is always difficult at first. But once you
get a hang of it and build your own self-confidence, I'm pretty sure guys will
come lining up for you sooner or later. (hopefully not too soon. I have a feeling
you're not in the best condition to start dating right now. Too many mistakes
will happen.)

Just think it like this; if one guy can fall for you, I'm pretty sure there
are others out there waiting in line. They are just waiting for you to
give them a chance to sweep you off your feet.

A strong, independent girl with a strong sense of direction will always
have a market when it comes to the same kinda men in my opinion.
Same goes with every other kinda personality or trait.

The same theory applies for us men.

You don't have to be classy or super attractive or whatever.

You just really need to know what's it like to be really comfortable
in your own skin. Embrace it. Acknowledge it. If you don't think you're
beautiful, it's ok. But if someone says otherwise, just thank them. (or correct
them very cynically ohohoho) But always accept reality the way you view it.

I mean, my ex told me I was good-looking. But whenever I stare at
my own face, I think I know my own playing field. It's hard to acknowledge
people saying that you're good-looking when all you really wanna do is punch
your own retarded face to bits.

And this is coming from someone who thinks that someone is pretty or
handsome for as long as I don't feel the need to bludgeon his or her
face into smithereens; taken into account that person's character as well.

And that's ok. (unless if you really start beating yourself then..)

You'll feel better. Be who you like to be. Don't give a shit about what other
people think about you. Feel good to be who you are and who you want to
really be.

Every woman, no; everybody deserves to feel that way, even
when nobody mentions it.

If he's already ignoring your for lunch, then don't bother
asking him out. Give yourself a break and stop thinking about
him for once. Why not think about yourself now?

Nobody's gonna love you anymore now. (aside from your family)
So you're gonna have to start loving yourself from now on.  If you
don't do it, nobody will, and you'll wilt eventually.

BUT if it's work-related, just be very professional about it.
Don't give off a sympathetic vibe.

Just tell him,
"Sorry X, I know I'm the last person you want to see,
but I need to get a job done. This isn't about us, it's
about work. Can you spare me a minute or two? I just
need a few pointers here and there and I'll be on my way."

I'm sure he'd understand if he's a sensible person. If he doesn't,
clearly he's too blinded by his emotions to do what's right. You
deserve better than that. Don't cling onto someone who can't
even think straight just because he's lost his balance once.

But in a way, I can tell he's trying to do what's right for you.
Because the only way for you to give up is to grant you the
gift of despair. So he's not gonna give you any chance for
hope. If he doesn't do it this way, you won't stop hoping.

It's already a very painful process for both you an him. So
don't make it any more difficult than it already is for the two
of you.

I've also learned the hard way that it's senseless to think
about imponderable questions. Questions like,

"I think he's fallen in love with someone else."

"He says there are no more sparks between us, but
I think there's something else."

If you want to figure something out, connect the dots
with something solid. With evidence. If there's no
evidence, those thoughts don't matter. So let them
cease to exist. You're just wasting your time and
energy thinking about unnecessary questions.

I know it's bloody unfair when you love someone with
all your heart for x amount of years, and it appears to
be all a waste. All that time, energy and memories. My God.

But you have to stop thinking that it's a waste. You have
to understand that when you love someone with all your
heart, you're not leaving any room for yourself to have
any regrets.

And that's how you know you gave your best. And you probably
didn't do anything wrong. Things just really weren't meant to be.

Loving someone with every fiber of your being is a beautiful thing.
It helps you to understand how you love someone. It helps you to
understand what changes you when you care for someone so deeply
and intently. It brings out some of the best habits in you.

To put it simply, it unlocks your true potential.

It has already been unlocked for you. Don't throw them back into
the junkyard in your soul and lock them up. You deserve to keep
all the good from whatever happened.

SO, with all that free time you have in your hands right now, you
might as well use that time to develop more personal growth for
yourself. At least when you do that, your attraction level as a
woman will continue to go up.

You have to remember that you'd stay pretty only
for so long. So don't waste that kind of resource.
No doubt a lot of guys out there fall for looks first,
but whatever keeps you together later, it's your
character. So never neglect that.

Right now, you might still be in your 20's or 30's.
Then what're you gonna do once you hit your 40's?
You'll only fall into 2 categories when you do:
a. desperate for anyone at all. You lose all faith in
attraction so bad that you begin to go for a blind hunt.
So much so that you're not even setting a standard for
yourself anymore. Any guy would do. Trust me, you
don't want to do this to yourself.

b. be a single, capable and independent woman who
can thrive even with the absence of men. You're gonna
attract a whole new crowd when you're at that level.
Once you do, you'll never be that interested in good-looking
young men anymore. You know it never lasts anyways.
You'll see the reality in the mirror. Beauty never lasts.

You'll know it once you start to think that younger guys are
just really immature. It's like how you think certain guys are
so cool when you were around 16. And now when you look at
the same 16 year olds at your current age, you just think; bleh.

Search for a beautiful two-way companionship that will stand the
effects of time. And a lot of older guys can give you that. Because
they have wisdom, experience and they probably have accumulated
enough wealth by then.

So focus on personal growth.

Either way, you need to ask yourself if you really love him.
Because of if you do, then you'd do what is necessary for
him to be happy.

Sometimes you have to understand that loving someone isn't
all about being with that person physically, it's about putting
that person's happiness before you. And you've got to know
that in those times, you're not gonna be part of that equation.

And it's ok.

So if it isn't working, let him go peacefully and respect his
decision from a distance. There's a chance that he's letting
you go because he thinks he's not making you any happier
as well, and you deserve a better man compared to him.

Yes, some questions will always be imponderable. But if it
helps to drive you positively, then put those thoughts into
good use and allow them to lunge you forward instead of
putting you into a paralytic stasis.