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Serious HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP, Post all "getting over" advice here

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nicodemus88
post Jan 9 2015, 02:25 PM

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Broke up with my 9 year long girlfriend during Christmas 2014... It's been 2 weeks since then, but my heart still hurts like hell...

We have been together for 9 long years and had a lot of memorable moments together. But we do have some problems between us, especially on the communication and commitment part. I do not blame her at all for suggesting this break up because I knew I played a part in causing this to happen to. I guess after so long of uncertainties, she just told me that she fell out of love for me and no longer has a thing for me. Furthermore, she admitted that she did had a crush on someone from her office, which I believed escalated this issue and problem. That's why we broke up in the end.

But she really wanted us to remain friends, to keep in touch and keep each other updated. She said I am still someone special to her, just that not as a lover or partner. But I really could not accept that, after all I went through with her, being downgraded to just a normal friend is really hard for me.

What I really wanted to do was for us to give us another shot at this relationship. I really love her a lot and I really couldn't envision my future without her in it. But how does one patch up a relationship when the spark has already gone? I still love her, but to her, there's no more feelings involved. I really don't know how to give us a shot at this even though that's what I really want.

Breaking up really hurts a lot... I really want to let it go and move on but till now, I am still hang up on this...

This post has been edited by nicodemus88: Jan 9 2015, 02:26 PM
nicodemus88
post Jan 15 2015, 09:35 PM

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QUOTE(Hollow21 @ Jan 13 2015, 10:33 PM)
Sounded a bit like me just a few months ago but not 9 long years... blush.gif  sweat.gif ....Did you try asking her to think about your proposition and accept a chance to save the relationship?  Sorry to say this to you but it takes two to tango.  I also tried to give mine a last ditch effort and I asked...but in the end she didn't want to.  The love's gone, she said.  She wanted just to be friends.  I couldn't accept that so I forced myself to stop all communications to help myself move on.  It helped.  The pain's gone now.  Don't think of her much.  But sometimes something will trigger the memories and they come back.  And my mind will wander a bit sometimes with questions the shoulda, coulda, woulda, y'know.....In the interim, I met many new people and some girls too!  One is attractive.  But all I can say my heart isn't there...I guess the pain's gone, but subconsciously the heart and mind is still not healed and cleaned.  All I wanted to say is I hope you stay positive and move on if she doesn't want to tango.  It's not easy, and the feelings may linger....but good luck.  Be strong.
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Yeah, I tried but just as your case, she didn't want to. Love's gone for now. If I can make her fall for me again, she will reconsider. But I know how hard it is to make someone fall in love with you again once the love is gone.

So far, staying as just friends. Pain's reducing, but just as you say, subconsciously the heart is still not healed... Gonna stay positive and yeah, trying to move on... smile.gif

 

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