if anyone remembered my thread about paranoid girlfriend, we now officially broke up. I think it is a wise decision since she has another guy since the moment I treated her badly and the guy came to rescue. lol

But breaking up is still sadding. I know i was not ready for single again. I tried to mend the broken heart for a week and a half. And now i think i can move on. But still i dont have any interest with the girl. I just cant love anyone at the moment.

For some reason i feel like I want her back despite of all hatred I threw towards her, and what she has done to me (third person) because deep in my heart i still love her.

But some says, try to find a replacement but i dont think i would because my heart is still in healing state.

Now i am trying to keep myself as busy as possible even though sometimes i still remember about her. Yea, all the txting, calling, fbing, anger, happiness, sadness; about everything.

I still confused with myself, should i get a gf now to help me forget her or should I just stay single as long as possible and try to heal myself so that my future gf will not be jealous because of this thing. Well, a girl might get jealous even if it has nothing to do with her. If i show more love about the former one than the current one, she must be thinking that i still love my ex. (note: still no future gf or current one)

So, guys, I know a man should be strong but doesnt mean i cant have emotion. I want a gf but sometimes i feel scared i cant love her sincere enough. at the same time i hope someone would help me mend all the broken pieces of my heart. And she will know my suffers and hard time and will appreciate me a lil more than anyone else. who knows.

And do you think, keeping your story of your past like broke up, sex life,  things you did with your exs, and what she/they did to you is a good decision? Would you tell all about yourself? Or would you just tell her that its better not knowing all. But end up with she doubting you.

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Added on December 31, 2012, 5:20 pm
so true. the cycle will apparently stops the time we found the one. hopefully my life has no infinite cycle.. haha
I hope i can get an awesome one as my wife. The thing is, every awesome girl now has boyfriend. haha